I was talking with two of my friends this week who both told me stories about people who had offended them, to their faces...but did it with a smile. The offending words weren't outright cruel, but were arranged in such a way that feelings were hurt.
It got me thinking, do people say these unkind things in Shakespearean fashion where the person affected will be hurt, but in a way that isn't blatant? Or are people so caught up in their own worlds that they don't realize they've hurt another with their words? Does being unkind give people power? Is there insecurity involved?
Both of these friends are wonderful women. Both of the comments were backhanded "compliments". Both of the situations made me really angry. I hate seeing the people I care about be so hurt. The sad thing is that I hear more and more about it from different women everyday. Maybe we've become desensitized to other's feelings. Maybe it's just me who is overly sensitive...
So I have to ask you, when was the last time someone hurt your feelings with their words? Was it on purpose? Did you call them on it? How did you deal with it?
Let me give you some examples of things that have been said to me lately. (With a smile of course!)
I. You've lost weight. You look SO much better than you did when you were teaching!
2. Wow. You're pretty lucky that your husband LETS you stay home. What do you do with all that time to yourself? I would go crazy if I didn't have anything to do all day..
3. Why are you so tired? I thought you weren't working anymore.
4. Have you been sick? Because I know people who are dying, so it really can't be that bad, right?
Yeah, those are just a few. I held back my OWN words in those encounters. Lucky me, I heard two of those comments in ONE conversation. Those of you that know me should be both really proud that I kept quiet AND extremely surprised that I didn't get myself arrested.
Happy Kind Monday, friends :)