-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Funny Friday: July 2015 : Moo.

Funny Friday, July 2015


Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.


Funny Friday  150 X 150.jpg


Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by the lovely Angela at Sanity Waiting to Happen.


18 - Sanity Waiting to Happen.JPG
Murray on the left, George on the right.


1. Murray bargained with the stars in the sky: "Get me through this ONE night without throwing up, and I will never EVER, double-dog-dare or not, drink a gallon of warm chocolate milk again."


2. "Wake up, Murray. Does something smell funny?"


3. "Keep playing dead, Mister. But when we get to the next Chick-Fil-A, it's YOUR turn to dance."


4.  George immediately regretted opening the cab window for some "fresh air".


5. The straps were loosened. George figured it would take three hard nudges. Maybe four. Today would be the LAST day he'd ever have to be second-in-line.


Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:



Happy Friday, Friends!
-Michele

Friday, July 24, 2015

Fly on the Wall: July 2015

Hello, Friends!  Welcome to the July Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 12 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!


Cast:
Me
The man
Alex, the eldest 
Micah, Alex's husband 
C., The middle (son, 17)
J., The youngest (son, 10)

The fly on the wall would have to be using his eyes a lot around here. We spend most of our days keeping in contact with our family via texts. It's not ideal, but it's the way things are for us right now. Still, I'm glad for the phones that keep us in reach. Here are a few of this month's favorite texts. I'm always touched that my family can keep the sarcasm alive, even when we're not in the same house.
***

Alex: So. I'm being asked for thirtieth time if you're ever going back to "work".  Am I supposed to go with the same response?
Me: Which is?
Alex: That you're perfectly happy spending your days collecting drug money and making our father work his fingers to the bone?
Me: I don't know. Collecting drug money sounds like I'm contributing. But I guess I'm still good with that.
***
C.: Mom. Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie? My long lost son, is that you?
C.: Wrong answer. If you would have said that it was me, I would be bringing this home:
Me: Ask me again! 
C.: Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie, is that you?
"C. has left the conversation."
***
Alex: (getting her new classroom ready) Should I write my first name inside all of the books I bought? Or my last name? My phone number? What did you write inside yours?
Me: "I wrote: Don't steal this book or I will find you. You will think you got away with it, but one dark night, I WILL find you, and make you give this book back to me."
Alex: So you weren't beloved. Everyone was just terrified of you?
Me: Pretty much.
***

Alex: Holy hot, mom! It's 102 degrees. How are we supposed to function in this heat?
Me: Take a lesson from your family...
***
Me: So. This is what happens when I'm doing laundry and trip over the crate my husband left out this morning.
Mark: You know that you're texting your husband, right?
Me: Am I?
Mark: Ouch!
ME: Really? That's all you have to say?
Mark: Um, at least you can hop around on your good foot to put the laundry away?
Two Hours later.
Mark: Hello? Is it safe to come home?
***
Random texts that don't get a response:
These are texts that are either rhetorical or meant to cause a blood pressure spike.
Alex to Me:"Should I get a perm?"
Mark to me:"By WHOLE GRAIN, do you mean the soft, white Wonderbread? That's what I think you mean."
Mark to me: "Do you mind if the new fridge sticks out about six inches into the hallway?"
C. to Me:"Whatever you do, don't go in my room!"
Alex to me:"Is it bad to wear tights in July?"
C. to Me: "If I'm not back by dawn, delete my internet history."
Me to Alex: "A family Taco cart. Don't say no. Just think about it."
Me to C.: "I'm starting to wonder if the moon landing really WAS staged..."
C. does NOT kid around when it comes to Space, so I must do that for him.
***

We had a plumber working here for hours trying to hook up a water softener. Our house was not fitted for one, and of course, everything had to be brought up to code. Ugh...
I was downstairs working in my shop which is next to the utility room.
Me: (texting Mark, who was upstairs) Hey. The plumber just came in and asked what I do in here. I showed him the shop and gave him my card.
Mark: Did you invite him to dinner? We're paying him a ton of money. By the hour.
Me: So. I shouldn't have given him a discount code?
Mark: Did he give you a discount code?

Finally:
Group Text:

Alex: I just spent the whole day lesson-planning. I still have two papers to write :(
C.: I just found out I have to close all weekend.
Alex: Thanks for making us responsible people, mom and dad.
C.: Yeah, thanks. We should be out partying with our friends.
Mark:
"Alex has left the conversation."
"C. has left the conversation."

Fly over and say, "Hey!" to this month's fly participants!




Happy "Love your family, wherever they are", friends!
-Michele            

Friday, June 26, 2015

Funny Friday: June 2015

Funny Friday, June 2015


Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.


Funny Friday  150 X 150.jpg


Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Sarah @ The Momisodes


17 - Momisodes June 2015.jpg


1. Neil Armstrong's dream: His grand-kids will one day walk on the moon without the need for spacesuits.

2. It took 238,900 miles before the kids stopped asking their mother, "Are we there yet?"

3. Girl in Pink: "If the moon had water, this would TOTALLY be my hot tub!"

4. Daughter in Purple: "In NASA's history, 12 people have walked on the moon and they were all boys. My mom brought two girls here in one afternoon. My mother >NASA.

5. Jeremy grasped tightly to the flag pole, wondering what the repercussions were going to be when he told his sisters the truth: He accidentally left all of their food at home.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:



Happy Friday, Friends :)
-Michele

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