Fly on the Wall #3

Hey friends!  Welcome to the 3rd Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 VERY brave bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....

Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on.. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. How often can one say that?

If you were a fly on the wall at my house this month, this is what you would have witnessed:

Cast:
Me- Yeah, that would be yours truly.
The Man- My husband
A.- The eldest child (daughter)
C. The middle child (son)
J. The youngest (son)


Regarding Lent:

The Middle Child: "I'm giving up being poor."
The Eldest: "I'm giving up sweets. No, wait. I'm giving up cake and cookies. I have a REAL Valentine this year. I am NOT giving up candy. Or chocolate. Or whatever "he" gets me..."
Me: "We're giving up fast food."
The Youngest (yelling): "Well what are we going to eat for dinner, then??"

The Blog:

Me: "I have to write about what funny things we said this month."
The Youngest: "I've said multiple funny things..just today!"

The Youngest: "I want something fun to do. No one is listening to me. A. and C. are always on their phones. Dad is always on his computer and mom is always on her blog!"
The Middle (and now grounded) child: "You just need an imaginary friend. We have them too. They live in our electronics. Yours probably lives under your bed."

Me: "Will one of you make a blog header for me? I need something new."
The middle child: "I'll do it."
Me: "Okay. I'll tell you what I want..."
The man (laughing and shaking his head) "Yeah, C. Good luck with that."
3 hours later....
Me: "It kind of looks like a little kid made it."
The Middle Child: "Well, I thought you wanted people to think YOU made it."
Me: "Very funny. Now your initials are going under it."

From the Living Room:

The Man to the eldest: "You know, as long as you're living under OUR roof..."
The Man to me: "Never tell my parents you heard that."

Me to The Man: "I am not going to sleep until I finish this puzzle."
The man: "That is going to take you all night. You can't finish that before bed."
Me: "Watch me!"
He doesn't. He goes to bed like a normal person would.
Me to the Middle Child: "I will give you $5 dollars to help me finish this puzzle."
The Middle: "But I have homework..."
Me (looking at the clock): "Okay. Twenty bucks."
The middle child: "Well, this piece goes here and this piece..."
Yeah. We finished it.

Playing the alphabet game with the three kids..
The youngest: "I have 'R'. My name is Roger. I come from Rrrrr..Rogerville, and I sell rrrrWrinkled people."
The middle: "That's not right. Wrinkled starts with..."
Me: (Making my mean-mom face). "Shhh. That's okay...."
The eldest (of course gets 'W'): "My name is Wilma. I live in Wyoming and I sell.....wrinkled people."
The older two laugh. The youngest is frustrated.
Me: "I need a drink chocolate."


That awkward moment... (this month)

When you run in your towel to let your daughter in the house, open the door and realize it's the mailman. This is why he usually stays in his Mail truck.

When your daughter comes home announcing a job change, saying she's ready to be a grown-up and you are putting together a puzzle with Red Vines coming out of your mouth. Oh, and Spongebob is on.

You move the kitchen island because you're ready for a change. You realize there is a ton of crap under it. You contemplate the situation and realize the vacuum is upstairs. You move the island right back where it was, matching up the dust spots exactly.

When you decide to practice yoga in the living room and realize there is more crap under the sofas than there was under the kitchen island.

When your three children are screaming at the top of their lungs while wrestling on the couch and all you can do is smile...and take pictures to bribe them with later.

The man: :"Don't pay any attention to J. screaming in the bathroom. C. is helping him pull out his tooth."
Me: "Was it really that loose?"
The man: "Probably not."

The eldest to me: "You know what I learned in Psychology today? 'Baby Can Read' is a lie. The whole thing is a scam."
Me: "I know."
The eldest: "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
Me: "You didn't ask."
The eldest." I feel like everything I've ever been told has been a lie." (where does she get that exaggerating thing from?)

and finally, (Drum Roll Please.)

Me to the middle child (my son): "Are you wearing my jeans?"
The middle child: "I don't know..."


Thanks once again to the Fly's creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "I'm-putting-a-fire-under-your-butt-shellybean-so-get-writing", for hosting this challenge!



Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Come on. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                    

Big A Little a                                  

The Insomniac's Dream                        

Just a Little Nutty                              

The Sadder but Wiser Girl                       

Stacy Sews and Schools             

Menopausal Mother              

Don't Chew On The Dinner Table    

My Brain on Kids                                       

Finding Felicity                                 

The Rowdy Baker                                      

The Momisodes                                  

Black Sheep Mom  

Raising Reagan                

Moore Organized Mayhem

Happy 3 day weekend, friends!

- Michele

Advice from the eldest.

Hello friends! I'm so excited to present to you my very first guest blogger... I've been begging her to help me write for a while now because she is the funniest person I know. No pressure. At all.

Make it awesome, Alice!

*

After eons of begging, I finally caved in. Being the eldest child, I'm naturally the favorite, most talented, and best child my mother has. I mean, the boys are alright, but come on! So out of the kindness of my heart (and questionably to prevent any further slipping down on the favorite child totem poll ), I agreed to be the guest blogger. No pressure at all.. I must warn you: A. I'm a comma freak.. and B. Don't get your hopes up too much, but  I am just as hilarious as my mom says.. ;)

First guest blog post.. What could I write about? Well, the good thing about this being the first post by a guest is that I have no rough draft or previous awesome post to compete with. I thought about it a little- most people are on spring break, so no one really wants to read a deep and inspirational post and short and sweet is nice, but I've got to leave a first good impression as a guest.. I've chosen the topic of:

Top Five Things You Should Not Do on Spring Break:

1. Renovate the downstairs bathroom you've been working on for many weekends now.

• You may be asking yourself 'Why not?' The break is a perfect time to finish any previous home projects, right? WRONG! Tip #1: If you're hoping to enjoy yourself this spring break- especially with your family-do not get yourself into any situation involving  one or more visits to Lowe's. Nothing is worse than spending time off of school/work to pick out paint colors, and follow the Lowe's employees around acting like you're not intentionally annoying them until they tell you where they are truly 'hiding' the new shipment of that specific type of molding you're looking for. Lowe's does NOT count as a family 'outing'.

    2. Lay out in the sun all day everyday of break. 

• Alright, let's get real here. Who doesn't love a relaxing day in the sun? The only thing I have to  say about this is that SPF is truly a beautiful thing! Coming from a teenager, being redder than a cherry and trying to convince your mother that you're not sunburned without crying by barely moving your toasted-arms, is much more difficult than you would presume. Tip #2: Just wear sun block! You'll thank yourself one day when your skin isn't equivalent to the texture and color of your overly-priced, Peta-protested, hip purse.

     3. Spring Clean.

• It's the best feeling in the world to have a clean house, wouldn't you agree? Cleaning is a lot like working out. No one wants to do it, but in the end, everyone loves the outcome. I don't know how the whole cleaning process goes down at your house, but here's what happens at mine: Usually it all starts with the clank of a dish. It may seem like not much, but really it's the theme song to every kid's nightmare. Next, you've gotta analyze what it is that you're doing exactly. If it's not something that could pass as productive in the eyes of our parents, you best rush your sorry butt down to the dishwasher, or at least turn on the vacuum so that your participation can be easily noted. During this whole process, you say nothing. Absolutely nothing. If even a word of complaint comes out of your mouth, you've just earned a sly, despising  smirk  from your siblings for at least a few days. By the time the whole process is over, the house is clean and everyone is glad it's done. Tip #3: Save the cleaning for before or after the break. Deep cleaning is miserable for everyone.. why not save it for a time slot not considered to be utilized with leisure? 

    4. Give all of Your Time to Other People.

• Okay, okay. I'm not knocking charity work here, people! Helping others rocks, truly! I'm only suggesting that you be careful who you promise your time to. So aunt Carol needs her cats groomed, Susie needs someone to help her paint her fence, grandma Pat hasn't seen you since Christmas, your best pal Kate expects you to attend her interpretive-dance party. (Let's get real here, who doesn't love a good interpretive-dance party?!). A few little promises here and there, and all of the sudden.. WHAM! Happy end of spring break! Where did the time go between filling twenty million plastic eggs for your lazy co-worker who promised their roommate's best friend it would get done, and pulling weeds from that one friend you can never say no to their garden. Tip #4: Say No! Don't let people take your time from you. It's your vacation time, and no one should be able to guilt you into thinking you owe them any of your time. Still be considerate, of course! If Susie really needs help painting her fence and you enjoy painting, go for it! Unless it involves going anywhere near a Lowe's. (Make sure the paint has already been purchased.) 

    5. Create a To-Do List.

• A little organization never hurt anyone, right? WRONG! Haha

In short, I would like to thank you for reading this far.. You are my heroes, truly! To keep it short and sweet here, have an awesome spring break! Relax, stay safe, and have fun! :) Thank you to Shellybean for letting me be the guest blogger. I'm definitely not a natural like you, but I appreciate the chance! I know you don't keep count or anything in particular, but if you did, this should definitely boost me up like 734 points on the favorite child spectrum.. At least until Chris writes a post for you! ;) 

-Love Alice.