Put a fork in it...

Hey-O, friends.

In my never-ending search for normalcy, I have a few more "Have you ever?" questions to ask ...

Today's topic: Plastic silverware.

You know. The kind you buy for parties or for picnics?

Here we go:

* Have you ever needed JUST forks or JUST spoons for your special occasion, but the only things left on the grocery store shelves were 26 boxes of knives?

* Have you ever wanted the "fancier," clear-plastic cutlery, but all you could find at Walmart was the cheap, white, bendy kind?

* Have you ever wanted forks or spoons in a certain color to perfectly match your family's Halloween/Birthday/Christmas/Arbor Day theme party?

* Have you ever reached the paper-goods aisle only to forget which type of utensil you were out of? Was it the pack of spoons you were lacking, or was it the knives? Now you have to buy one of each, just in case. (BTW, Can anyone cut ANYTHING with a plastic knife? Don't say cake. That's what the sides of plastic forks are for. Don't say BBQ pork chops. You KNOW you pick those up with your hands and shake the meat off the bones like a rabid dog....)

Anyway... I asked these questions regarding disposable eating utensils in the hopes that you might say, "Yes!! Of course I've been in that situation! I NEVER have enough "real" silverware for my guests! None of my spoons match! All of my "real" forks are dirty! I don't mind at all putting another dent in our landfills! Who DOESN'T want pink spoons or clover leaf-green forks?"

I'm crossing my fingers and my toes hoping you will have said ANY of those things.

Because today, I cleaned out part of our pantry-closet. OK. Not really CLEANED. I was actually looking for cupcake cups and found everything but cupcake cups. This particular closet has been a place where I  shove  stuff with my feet and close the door really fast put party supplies and a little of everything else EVER sold in the seasonal party-section of Target...

Back on the topic of plastic silverware. In that unorganized closet, in every nook and cranny, where there should have been some all-forsaken cupcake liners.....

You guessed it. This instead, my understanding friends, is what I found:

I know what you're thinking.

I OBVIOUSLY need a pseudo-flatware intervention...

.... and some SPORKs.

Happy National "give-a-fake-fork-to-everyone-you-know" Day, friends :)

Day 23 of Forty: No Allowance for me..

We're pretty strict around here about chores. There aren't a lot, but the ones you have, you do and you do well. After they're complete, then you can ask for whatever favor you need. It sounds a bit staunch, but it works for us. Want to hang out with a friend? Clean your room! Want to watch a movie? Pick up those Legos. Want to live? Make those chip bags under your bed disappear! The kids sometimes get frustrated at their parents, wishing that every once in awhile they could maybe just catch a break...

If you've followed the blog, you know how much time I spend in my craft room. It's where I get all of my sewing and most of my other projects done. I usually start a project, make an unbelievable mess, THEN I try to put everything back.

I had a few new orders I needed to fill and you know I LOVE that room, but it has been an odd weather week in March where I live. The usually junky cold weather has decided to cooperate fully with sun-loving people and to top that, there has been 60+ degree weather to boot.

I started the week by bringing my sewing machine upstairs and setting it up in the back of the living room. I thought, "Oh, I'll only sew a few things so I can look out the window, get some sun and then I'll bring the machine back downstairs to finish everything else."

Only the days kept being gorgeous! I needed to catch up on some laundry and a few TV shows that we DVRd this week. "Perhaps I'll just bring up a few other things and multi-task." I tried to reason with myself. "I'll finish up here and then bring it down there.." Yes, I did sound like the Grinch. I just didn't want to be in the basement!

But by last night, the living room looked like this:

Oh dear.
"I promise Mr. Man, I will have this all picked up soon. I realize that everyone shouldn't have to walk on the carpet and dodge needles like it's a minefield. I will probably take down that ironing board sometime tomorrow morning.."

All of a sudden, "tomorrow morning" became today. It was beautiful yet again, but I knew I had a job to do. The kids were at school, the man was at work and I had a pretty good chunk of time to clean up the disaster otherwise known as Craft Room, Level II. Ah. Suck it up Michele, and get it done.

As I began to dig into the mess, my phone across the room started buzzing. Scissors, fabric and an iron in hand, I contemplated checking it before taking my first trip downstairs. I worried that it might be my daughter, so I picked up the phone and checked the text.

"Hey Loser, Can you get coffee?" It was a sentimental invitation from a very good friend. I looked at the mess in my living room, then at the mess that was me; I hadn't even gotten cleaned up yet. I also thought of all of the rest of the "chores" I needed to do today and texted back, "Yes!"

I know I've got a lot of explaining to do. I should have cleaned up that mess before having any fun. But I had a needed blast with a friend who didn't care that I had holes in my jeans or mascara smudged under my eyes from crying after I stepped on a blasted pin..

The mess is still there. It will have to wait until tomorrow. The kids never mentioned it. The man texted me while I was out after I didn't answer the home phone and said, "I hope you're out having fun!" I knew he meant it. He realizes that by spilling my guts to and laughing with a girlfriend, I will be renewed. Plus I won't have to talk at him about all the minute things that get on my nerves during the day. Win-win.

I realized chores CAN sometimes wait in the name of an unexpected cafe drive-thru, a trip to Target and a good friend.

I will be sure to remember this when I step on the inevitable LEGO later or trip on a backpack or two. The older two kids asked to hang out with their friends tonight. (There isn't any school tomorrow.) Before asking if their chores were done, I paused for a sec, then told them to go and have fun. We all need a break every once in a while.

Have a restful night, friends. Tomorrow is Friday!

Day 16 of Forty-Let's all go to the movies..

The man and I decided a few months ago to put theatre-like room in the basement. We also decided to use the room I had been using as a classroom. If you remember, I was homeschooling the youngest as well as tutoring a ton of kids....and I had a few (thousand) items left from teaching school. For those of you that have been following this blog, it is also the room that held the evil-twin chairs...

I say "theatre-like" room because there are actual theaters in people's houses these days. Wall size screens, big, squishy, leathery chairs and popcorn makers. I've seen a few and they are gorgeous. No, when I say theatre-like, I mean a room, painted a dark color...with a TV.

I was in charge of painting and the man had to handle the electronics. We planned where things would go and what we would add to the room to make it fun for the kids, all the while also keeping in mind what would and wouldn't fit down the basement stairs. You'd be surprised.

As it goes, I painted that cute old blue classroom the color of an eggplant. A single-man living in the next town adopted our two evil chairs. Then, my husband hooked up every game system/stereo piece/DVR/DVD/CD/VCR/OMG!- thing known to man. I believe every piece we've ever owned is in that room. In good conscience, I won't go into how many wires are hiding behind a piece of black IKEA furniture. I won't because I can't even look myself.

We're not finished. I will show you parts of the room this weekend. Again, it does NOT look like any movie house you've been to..  We don't have the wall-sized screen. There aren't any velvet ropes or blinking lights around posters..

BUT if you know us, (which you should by now) you'll have faith that we stayed true to the important parts of any theatre experience. As far as I'm concerned, I could sit on the floor and watch puppet shows as long as I have these:

Tomorrow is Friday, folks! Enjoy your evening :)

Three things you WON'T find on Pinterest..

You know how you can gaze for hours at all the ideas on Pinterest? Sure you do. Please, please tell me I'm not the only one...

There are a million and three ideas on that site and I swear I'm addicted to taking as much of it in as possible. It's wonderful to see all the creativity in the world as well as all of the generous people willing to share new ideas. Many times I've looked at pages and thought, "Hey, I did that too!" or "I can't believe I didn't think of that!" or "How much money and time do those people have?" Yeah, the last one is said most often...

I was making my bed this morning and looking around the bedroom. Hmm. What if someone took a picture of it? What would I want people to see? And then I started to laugh. Loudly. Because the thought of someone capturing the junk in there is nothing short of comical. Why would anyone photograph such stuff? ....Oh yeah, because they write a blog...about imperfection. Hey, I'm a giver.

So ladies, be prepared to have your socks knocked off at three pieces of non-Pinterest worthy gems found in my "Master Suite". It's always okay to be a bit envious....

#1 The Ugliest Lamp on the Face of the Earth.

 In what was one of my "off" days of junking, I picked up this little lady. Yes, she's brassy and heavy. She also has a plug that probably dates back to the days of Edison. Perhaps the lamp WAS Edison's.... The husband warned me that it was probably not something I'd want to update, but I didn't listen. (shocking, I know.) Instead, I brought it home, put it where I thought it might go, and absolutely hated it. With my head hung in shame, I brought it up to our room where it does not match a thing. That lamp takes up space we do not have and stares at me like the two-headed monster it is. I need to give it away, but who could I do that to???

#2 The Bread Machine.

On my chair. In the bedroom. Really? This is the second machine we've purchased. The first one caught on fire one night while it was pretending to make cinnamon bread. We bought this one, but I can't bring myself to plug it in. I have a hideous fear of fire, and even though this is probably a perfectly-working appliance, I'm pleading "crazy" and giving it away. I know. How in the world can I not use a new bread machine but am willing to purchase a lamp that some one's great-great grandmother might have darned socks under? I have no rhyme nor reason; you know that... Anywhoo, it's waiting patiently for a new home.

#3 The Dreaded Sock/ Mitten Basket.

Dear heavens, people. I have washed 3000 loads of laundry and still have yet to find the matches to these orphans. I am pretty sure I will never find the mates, but on the small chance that one of our children clean their rooms, or somehow we clear our disaster of a garage and find even ONE sock or mitten, I keep that basket. Seriously, there are infant socks in there. We probably have enough money to replace the stained light blue mitten with a hole in the pinkie finger....but what if? What if we find it's mate? Ugh. So, it sits there (and probably always will) until I'm convinced those little loners are truly destined to live their lives out as rags or puppets.

There you go. 3 totally non-brag-worthy pictures. Oh my goodness, if there were ONLY three.

Isn't life grand? Feel free to tell me about your item(s) of shame..I'm hoping there are many others out there who don't live in magazine-ready homes...

Happy Friday, friends.

Two Word Wednesday...

Garage Fail :(

These little lights of mine...

I was only fourteen, but I'm picturing the lovely woman who lived in this house in 1984. I don't know who she was or what she was like, but I'm imagining a conversation between her and her man....

The 80's lady:  "Honey, I'm kind of tired of the macrame and brown glass hanging lamps hung everywhere we turn. What do you say we go downtown, have a nice dinner and pick-up some new lighting for the house? I hear gold is fashionable right now and I'll bet we'll be back in time for that new L.A. Law..."

Her man: " Hmm. I don't know. I don't want to miss CHEERS. Hows about we stop at the golden arches and get one of those new McDLTs? Since it's just down the street, we might as well just go to ACE. They're the place with a helpful hardware man."

And it was there, I'm sure, where it all went downhill. On an endcap. Aisle 4. Maybe on clearance. The woman's dreams of tasteful lighting would go by the wayside for the low, low price of 14.99. For an eight pack. Gold? No. But wasn't brass close enough?

The man : "See honey? I picked up some wrenches,  duct tape AND we found your lighting!  You can thank me later.  Plus, there are probably enough fixtures here for every light in our house. "

And guess what? There were. And they weren't hideous; at the time.....

But it is 2011. And everywhere you turn, you see the hopes and dreams of a classy lady gone wrong.... In the repetitive shape of an octagon..

Below is a pic of the man when we moved in wondering if we could afford to replace all those babies. Or maybe he was hoping I wouldn't mind. I do like vintage, right?

We are slowly replacing them. I'm sure the next owners of this house will wonder what in the world I was thinking when I replaced a bunch of brass energy-sucking lights out with lighting circa 1940.

The library used to be the first family's dining room. I've always wanted to have a simple chandelier hanging in there as both an homage to the family and as an excuse to banishing the brassy, glassy octuplet, kindly joining him with his others in the depths of the wasteland we call our garage.

I wonder if the man of the Reagan generation also was bribed into changing out fixtures with "pretty please" and  a bowlful of jellybeans.

2 down, 6 to go. We'll get there. Hopefully it will be before brass comes back in style. If you own those little octagon lights and happen to love them and their style, I am happy to give you any extras you might require to complete your set. 

What's the lesson here? Use what makes you happy. Use what you can afford.  Try not to match every single light with one another, Mix it up. Express yourself.

You rock the metal of your choice, woman of the millennium! If you can't get the exact lighting you envision, go and check out the clearance section at Home Depot or a resale shop. Wherever it comes from, own it like it was your choice all along.

Now. On to this baby...

I'm off to find some spray paint and a set of scaffolding.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, friends :)

Chalk it up to procrastination...

The world's worst procrastinator? You're reading her blog. I don't know what or why it is, but I've always waited until the very last minute to complete something that is required of me. Those things are  never finished late or are lacking any quality, but I absolutely walk the line of, "One day little lady, you are going to find yourself out of time and nothing to show for it!"

I usually do have something to show for it,  just not the "it" that is suppose to be completed. I like to call it "Active Procrastination". It means, "No, I didn't finish the assignment that's coming up, but look what I DID do!!"

A complete cop-out, I know. I have few projects on the front burner.  Not even difficult projects. I don't know. Something in me just shuts down.

For example, instead of completing a simple "expected" task yesterday, I filled the day doing a bunch of ridiculously random things. Instead of sitting down and getting to work on something that probably would have taken at most a few hours, I-

-made a cake
-mopped the floor
-started up a conversation with the Fed Ex lady (Who was delivering a package to a neighbor. Pathetic, I know)
-moved around furniture
-dusted (seriously, how desperate was I?)
-made a chalkboard.

While all nice chores/ activities, none of them needed to be done as badly as the aforementioned tasks. Ugh. And now, mind you,  I'm writing up a random blog post.

On one hand I have to now put my nose to the grindstone and get working. On the other hand, I have an awesome little chalkboard. Some days, you have to take whatever you can get...

So. Do you have a conference to attend? A project or paper coming up? Bills to pay? Phone calls to return? Me too. Let's get to it.......or I could show you how to make a chalkboard.... Yes, let's do that instead....

You need:

A frame with an attached backing (no glass) or an old cabinet door or a cute old calendar board that you bought at a resale store for say, 3 dollars!!
Paint brush
Chalkboard paint
Chalk
Sand paper
Painter's tape

                                          

1. Take your board and clean any dust or dirt off.

.

2. Make sure your paint is stirred thoroughly before you begin

3. Sand the edges of your project if you like an older, worn look. Tape off where you would like your chalkboard. If you like a clean look, you'll want to paint the outside border of the frame first.

4. After sanding, wipe any sawdust or residue off of the chalkboard area. Paint two coats, making sure to completely cover the area. You want to let dry about 45 minutes between the coats. This would make a perfect time to catch up on needed tasks, or say, bake a cake :)

5. When completely dry, use chalk to "season" the chalkboard. Completely cover the board and erase or wipe away with a dry cloth. Your chalkboard will now be ready to use.

6. Perhaps you could make a check-off list of all the things you're supposed to be doing or you could make a list to at least keep everyone else on track.  :)

Have a productive day, friends :)

"You know, we can buy NEW things sometimes....."

This is in no way an endorsement from my husband to run down to Anthropologie and shop like there's no tomorrow. It's not even an invitation to stop at Target for a few things from the dollar section. Instead, it is a small plea for me to stop shopping at garage sales and resale shops. To stop perusing Ebay and the Salvation Army for that one item I didn't know I needed until I saw it.

I'm a little obsessed, I tell you. I love looking at something odd and seeing how it could function in our house. I love that it belonged to someone else a long time ago, and that they too probably smiled when they found just the right place for it in their home. I adore vintage and antique-looking things; items that just may have a story. Now- you will not find me spending hundreds of dollars on something just because it was built 150 years ago. I don't really care who the architect/builder was, or the exact period things might be from. I don't have a "dealer". (I'm not buying crack)  Instead, I want to feel something when I look at it. I buy old cookbooks because they have handwritten recipes inside the pages, old sewing patterns because I imagine the excitement some young mom had in making the newest dress of the season. I love finding pieces of milkglass because it's what my grandmother had as I was growing up.

Orphan stuff. We own a hutch that someone's Dad made, an end table from my mother-in-law's garage because I found the shape and color beautiful. (and it was free!) I have a soup tureen from one of my dearest friends. It doesn't match anything in my kitchen, but it is displayed proudly and makes me smile each time I pass it- because it belonged to a gorgeous woman who loved her family. As you can imagine, our house does not look like Pottery Barn or a showroom from Thomasville. But it is warm, comfortable and loved. There are a lot of odd little pieces in this house and I wouldn't want it any other way.

My husband interprets some of my purchases/gifts/rescues as used and worn; dare I say it, junk. Why would I want that old thing? I'd like to say that he's not snobby, but he does have a distinctive look on his face when he walks into stores that have certain odors of the past. He's been known to ask me if I really paid money for some of what I bring home. I can't tell if it's embarrassing to him or not. Does it reflect his ability to provide for us? Absolutely not. Maybe boys just don't get it. Remember, this man loves shiny new gadgets that have megabytes and codes and stuff....

Though I joke, I love him dearly for taking a deep breath and entering those resale shops with me. For smiling when I drag something in the house that might be missing a few screws or pieces. I understand that he can't always see what I do in these things, but man o man, he sure tries. Most of the time he'll nod his head, shrug his shoulders and endure; not only because he knows how much these silly things mean to me, but because more than likely, our next stop will be Best Buy.