Use Your Words January 2020: The Skimpy

Hey-O friends!

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  9 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.  

My words are:

meatballs ~ wrapping paper ~ Hamilton ~ Game Show Network ~ bathroom

They were submitted by:

http://mymedicatedmusings.blogspot.com 
Thanks for the words, Twinnie!

Pattern Story #12: Infomercial

Property of Butterick Pattern Service 1980s

Infomercial

Are you tired of the kids always stealing your towels?

Can you be sure that the towel on the floor is really clean?

Are your bathrobes at the cleaners?

Well, fret no more, grown-ups. Because now you can adorn yourself with 'The Skimpy.'

'The Skimpy' is just that. A scant piece of terrycloth that magically wraps around your body and snaps at your chest or waist. It covers just enough to keep your nosy neighbors from seeing your bits, while still keeping you and/or your man looking stylish.

'The Skimpy' can be worn at any time of the day!
You'll want to wear it:
* In the morning, before or after your shower.
* When you get home from work.
* When those pesky kids spill meatballs on your yoga pants.
* Even when you're staying in for the night and want something comfortable to wear while watching The Game Show Network!

Do you find yourself stumbling from your bathroom with no idea of what to wear?
Try 'The Skimpy!'
Are you looking for something to put on before you get ready for your child's school's version of "Hamilton?"
Try 'The Skimpy!'

Usually, 'The Skimpy' can be purchased for $1000.00. We're not selling it today for one thousand dollars. Not $500, or even the fabulous price of $100!!!
'The Skimpy' is available to YOU during the next 30 minutes only, for the low, low price of $29.99!

But wait! There's more!

Order two and we'll send you the second 'The Skimpy' for only $19.95! We'll even monogram your 'The Skimpy' for a small additional fee. 

It. Just. Doesn't. Stop.!

Order in the next 30 minutes and we'll even package your order in our famous Infomercial wrapping paper! Ask your operator for other unbelievable deals on 'The Skimpy' accessories. You'll be given our special pricing on hair wraps and spa sandals!

Remember, regular towels can belong to anyone. Bathrobes can be heavy and difficult to tie. 'The Skimpy,' will let everyone know you make your own choices in pre-clothing, and your choice is 'The Skimpy.'

Call us for your own 'The Skimpy' right now!
Dial 1-800-IM NAKED and tell the operator you're ready to wrap yourself up in 'The Skimpy.'

***

Have a "dry" weekend, friends!

Michele

Don't forget to check out the cool kids who participated this month:

                        Baking in a Tornado

                        Spatulas on Parade

                        Wandering Web Designer

                        Southern Beller Charm

                        Part-Time Working Hockey Mom   

                        Climaxed  

                        Medicated Musings

                        On the Border     

Use Your Words May 2019: Oh Sheets!

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  1o participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.   

My words are:

ball ~ covered ~ distress ~ green ~ laundry ~ criminal

They were chosen by Southern Belle Charm 

Thank you for the words!

Pattern Story #7

Dear Diary,

     Having a single parent is hard. Especially when that parent is a dad and I am a teen-aged girl. It was one thing talking with him about jump ropes, bouncy balls, and frogs, but it's quite another to discuss hair-curlers, mascara, and shaving my legs. I cringed knowing I had to tell my father that I needed new underclothes. I think I turned green  when he asked me to list everything I needed. How was he to know what Lycra girdles were or what kind of brassieres I'd like?

    I know he thought he was doing his best when he suggested that grandma take measurements and bring me shopping instead. I'm sure he asked her to get a bunch of things so we could avoid these awkward conversations for as long as possible. My grandma has been wonderful to me my whole life. I know she was trying to help...but when dad dropped me off at her house, I found out that we weren't going shopping after all.  She decided to MAKE my underclothes herself!

     I don't mean to sound ungrateful, Diary. I'm sure she worked very hard on each piece, but they were all wrong. Instead of the Lycra/Dacron form-fitting pieces my friends wear, my underclothes seemed to be fashioned from the very sheets that covered her bed last summer. None of the pieces was a girdle or form fitting for that matter. Everything seemed baggy. One of the pieces was even a garter-belt!  Those ancient things should be criminal! I thought everyone knew about pantyhose and tights by now!

     I think the slips are going to be too long for my miniskirts. Grandma asked me to try each piece on and show her how they fit. I couldn't even look her in the eyes. I didn't want her to see the distress on my face. I instead thanked her for her hard work and brought everything home.

     What am I going to do now? Tell her the underclothes are in the laundry every time she asks? As it is, the garter belt and pink onsie are crumpled in a ball under my bed.

     In the mean time, Sally said I could borrow her new silky slip to go under my Mod Minidress. 

     I guess dad and I will eventually have to have a clearer talk about the garments a growing girl needs, but for now I'll wait. Like I said, he's doing his best. He even came home with the very pink tube of mascara I showed him in Seventeen magazine! And it's the darkest shade of black I've ever seen.

     I think he and I are going to be fine.

***

Photo from McCall Corporation 1968

Happy "Wear whatever undergarments you want to as long as they're clean," friends!
-Michele

Check out the other cool kids playing:

Baking in a Tornado

Wandering Web Designer

Cognitive Script  

The Bergham Chronicles

On the Border

Southern Belle Charm

Bookworm in the Kitchen   

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom

Climaxed                                

Use Your Words: April 2019 Shuffleboard?

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 11 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to turn into a post. All words must be used at least once and all posts will be different as each writer has received their own set of words. No one joining knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now. That’s the challenge!  

My words are:

coffee ~ egg salad ~ hump ~ pansy ~ formation

They were submitted by the very sweet Jules@ The Bergham Chronicles 

Pattern Stories #6

 

Photo property of Advance Pattern Co. of Canada, LTD

Some Tuesday in April 1960

Betty, practicing and editing today's speech: 

Hi Ladies! Thanks to each of you for arriving on time to this week's Bridge Luncheon! (as if Lauren is EVER on time.) I'd like to personally thank Sarah for serving the coffee, and Judy, for bringing the delicious egg-salad sandwiches. The small petite triangles you cut them into are perfect for keeping our waistlines, ahem "in-line. (wait for laughter) 

 Now, you may have noticed that Charlotte and I are not dressed appropriately for today's lunch. (note judging glances) Instead, we've worn a sample outfit for Friday's first annual Shuffleboard tournament! (wait for excited applause) I understand that it will be hard for some of us to get over the hump of not wearing our usual dresses. We are Debutantes, after all! (smile at nervous-nodders) But ladies! I promise you will not lose your femininity! Just look at the gorgeous colors of these pedal pushers! I've made mine in cerulean and Char is wearing that beautiful spring pansy-red color! After Bridge, I'll pass around sewing patterns of the very pants we're wearing.  Surely you'll have a pair of your own whipped up by Friday! (offer help to the less-skilled seamstresses, perhaps bartering for child tending! Also, remind the women it's not yard work they're tending to. This is the opportunity to show off their jewelry!)  *Use your pearls and new white cuff bracelet as examples!

Phyllis brought copies of the 'Rules and Etiquette of Shuffleboard' to pass out today. Be sure to look over the pamphlets before the tournament and get with your assigned team sometime this week to practice. We'd like to arrive Friday in correct dress, correct formation, and with the rules-of-play securely under our belts. (reassure and repeat to any nervous-Nellys.)

Enough of that, Charlotte and I will quickly change and then, it's time for Bridge! (more applause)
***(Make Charlotte promise that this is the LAST speech I have to give...at least until beach volleyball.) 

Happy "Wear-Whatever-You-Feel-Like" aka, "Wear-Whatever-is-Clean" Day, friends :)
-Michele

Check out the other cool kids playing:

 Baking in a Tornado

 Wandering Web Designer

 Cognitive Script

 The Bergham Chronicles

 On The Border      

 The Crazy Mama Llama

 Climaxed  

 Southern Belle Charm

 Bookworm in the Kitchen  

 Stacy Sews and Schools  

Use Your Words February 2019!

Hey-O friends! Where in the world have you been? I've missed you!

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 9 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge and there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post, you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them.

My words are:

love ~ like ~ live ~ list ~ level

They were submitted by Karen @ Baking In a Tornado!!

Here we go:

Pattern Stories#5

Photo Property of Dominion Simplicity Patterns LTD

Janet: I called and cried to my grandma for at least two hours. I was afraid she might give me an "I told you so" lecture after I shared my hot mess of a semi-blind date.  Grams warned me six months ago that I was headed for heartbreak when I told her I was writing back and forth with a man named Roger. She said that you can't get to know someone until you've looked them in the eyes. I can't believe how right she was.

Last summer, an acquaintance at my real estate job said that her cousin Roger was thinking of moving to our city. She wondered if I wouldn't mind sending him some information about recreational activities and places of interest to visit. I was happy to. I stuffed an envelope full of pamphlets from the city, along with a small note to let Roger know he'd have a friend if and when he decided to move here.

To my surprise, Roger wrote back to me within the week. He saw my photo in one of our directory pamphlets and told me all about himself. He worked for Americorps and wanted to tell me all about it when I saw him. Also, he included a small photo of himself in his blue pajamas, drinking tea. He said that it was his favorite way to spend time when he wasn't at work or sailing his large boat.

For the next six months, we wrote back and forth. Twice we spoke on the phone. I told him a lot about the city at first, but more about my personal self as time went by. We talked about everything from our love of various foods to my nasty tennis elbow, to his naturally wavy hair. 

Finally, I got the call I had been waiting for. Roger was coming to town! He was having his boat shipped to our bay and wanted to meet me on one of the docks in two weeks. My heart never stopped pounding as he listed off all of the wonderful adventures we'd take together. I told him I'd send a photo of an outfit I'd just made. It sounded corny, but I'd wear it to the dock so he'd recognize me immediately. 

Could I be in love with someone I hadn't met face to face? Didn't I know more about Roger now than some couples who've dated two or three times? My grandma warned me. More than once. She said he sounded too good to be true. I was angry that she didn't trust my level of maturity. I knew exactly what I was getting into. But, like I said, Grams knew exactly what she was talking about.

Roger and I met at two o'clock that Sunday right where we said we would. I brought a friend to photograph us the moment we met. The moment where the rest of my life would start. It was a good thing he recognized me because I couldn't see anyone who resembled my Roger. Then, there he was in front of me.

I wouldn't have known him at all if not for his voice. And the fact that he was wearing the EXACT same jacket as me but in blue. What was going on? He said he wanted us to match when we met. Holy Hannah. The dark natural wavy hair I'd seen in his photo for so long smelled badly of an Ogilvie home perm. He looked nothing like my Roger. Seeing my shock, he decided to speak quickly about the photo being taken a really long time ago. Bologna. He sent me a photo of someone else. That wasn't even the only lie he made up.

When he said he worked for Americorp, he said he meant American Way. "Amway". When Roger said he wanted to tell me all about his job, he meant getting me involved in it. He said we'd be rich! Only in my phone call to Grandma did I understand it was a pyramid scheme. 

And that huge sailing boat he had shipped to our bay? It got around not by sails, but by two oars. It could have fit on the top of his car. I told him he was a liar; that he had made a fool of me, and that I never wanted to see him again. And I haven't. That acquaintance at work said that he decided not to live the city after all.

After the call with Grandma, I'm starting to feel a bit better. It will take a long time before I trust anyone with my heart. I do think Grams put this situation into perspective(as she always does) by summing up this whole experience:

 "Janet", she said, "You're going to be okay. We've lived by the bay for a long time. You need to remember to NEVER take a man's word about the size of his boat. Not to be crass, but just between you and me, when everything is uncovered, that "large boat' they talk about? Well, It's (more often than not) going to be nothing but a small dinghy."

Photo Property of Butterick Pattern Service-Canada 1970s

Happy "Keeping it honest" day, Friends!

-Michele

Don't forget to check out the other cool kids participating in the Use Your Words challenge:

              Baking In a Tornado

              Wandering Web Designer

              Cognitive Script

              Southern Belle Charm    

              The Bergham Chronicles

              On the Border

              Climaxed  

              Part-Time Working Hockey Mom  

Use Your Words: Pattern Stories #4

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 12 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 

My words are: 

hold off ~ particular ~ learning ~ incredible ~ object ~ unable

They were submitted by: the lovely and talented Karen@ Baking in a Tornado 

Pattern Stories #4

                                     Photo Property of Butterick Pattern Service, 1972

"I knew I loved Jeanie the first time I laid eyes on her.  She was working behind a Woolworth's soda fountain, serving at least 12 people at once without missing a beat. I remember the shop being packed, because everyone was celebrating our school's basketball championship win. I would love to say I was part of the celebration, but I'm unable to. It simply wasn't true. I was instead alone, trying to hide in a corner. 

While everyone was adorned in our school's colors, I was dressed head-to-toe in a ridiculous denim outfit. My mother, who sewed for a living, begged me to wear the clothing she made for a sewing expo that had come to our town. She was learning all kinds of new embroidery patterns and wanted to try them out; all at once. I felt ridiculous. I was trying to hold-off from being seen by hiding behind a plastic menu. That's when I first felt Jeanie's hand on my shoulder. I'm not sure if she wanted to laugh at me for the way I looked among the room of "cool-kids", but she didn't. She simply smiled. It was the most incredible smile I'd ever seen. 

I'd come to see her everyday after that; wearing my normal clothes, of course. I'd constantly order food so she wouldn't get into trouble. We'd talk about everything and nothing in particular on her breaks. She'd smile at me like I was the only one in the place. One night as she was getting off of work, she had asked me if I'd wait for her. I recall that it seemed like she was in the back for a really long time. Just as I was about to see if she was okay, Jeanie emerged from the room wearing a long raincoat and her infamous smile. 

Now, I know what today's kids would think was under that raincoat. My mind never went there. Still, when she unbuttoned it and revealed what was underneath, I couldn't believe it. My Jeanie stood there, an object of perfection, wearing a matching denim outfit to the one I was wearing when we first met. I can't tell you the laugh we had over it. And, yes. I call her "My Jeanie" because that's what she was from that day forward.

If I close my eyes now and stay very still, I can smell the sweet honeysuckle from her golden hair. The scent always hung in the air each time she'd move. I still try to take it all in; the sight of her, the smell... The way she'd hold her small hands over her mouth if she thought she was laughing too hard. I never tire thinking about her...about us."

-Jeff Gunderson, CEO of Embroidery Empires, speaking about his wife of 40 years.

Love- even when you look silly doing it, friends. :)

-Michele

Check out all the cool kids participating this week:

Baking in a Tornado                             

Spatulas on Parade                          

Stacy Sews and Schools                      

Follow Me Home                   

Battered Hope                            

Someone Else's Genius                   

The Bergham's Life Chronicles              

Eileen's Perpetually Busy         

Confessions of a part-time working mom             

Evil Joy Speaks              

Crumpets and Bollocks                        

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                                                                                                       

Use Your Words: Pattern Stories #3

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 13 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 

My words are: 

vengeful irony (optional) ~ eye broccoli (opposite of eye candy) ~ insidious ~ stroll ~ alluring ~ insignificant

They were submitted by: http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com  
Holy Hannah with those words, woman!!

Pattern Stories #3
   

Pattern drawings are the property of Kwik Sew Pattern Co. 

Pattern #852 was designed by Kerstin Martensson.

Despite blasting Donna Summer's disco loveliness overhead, nothing and no one could help Julia and Kristy connect during last month's photo shoot.

The two had been competing for the same modeling gigs in what seemed like forever. No matter how much Julia had tried, she could never measure up to what Kristy brought to the stage. 

At the Prell shampoo shoot last May, Kristy showed up with bouncy, newly-frosted hair. The color was so alluring, Julia didn't even make it into the final photo. When Julia had practiced the perfect motions for a "cross-your-heart" bra commercial later that month, Kristy strolled in with a new set of perky double Ds. Julia had always felt insignificant in Kristy's shadow.

Then came the day when the girls were competing for the front page of McCall's magazine. The cover-girl would show off the most anticipated piece of clothing for fall: The culottes. Every girl wanted to get their hands on a pair and wear them with the other must-haves of the season: knee-high leather boots.

Kristy had the insidious plan of choosing the tomato-colored culottes knowing the leather boots would match marvelously. She was sure to make the cover.

But when the photographer caught sight of the eye broccoli that were Julia's feet, he demanded that the boots cover any sight of them, and in his words, " the legs they were attached to."

Kristy, who was not at all happy at this turn of events, decided to show off her glorious Double Ds  once again in a revealing button-up blouse. Surely that would clinch the job.

Unfortunately, in what can only be described as a vengeful irony, two buttons on that fabulous shirt popped off and bounced out of sight. Kristy would spend the rest of the shoot in her last-season moccasins, carefully covering up her "girls." She would have to save her beautifully whitened smile (via Pearl Drops) for another day.

All was not lost for Kristy. While Julia made the September cover of McCall's, both women were featured on Kwik Sew's new pattern for culottes. (Any claims to the notion that Kristy's cover was due in-part to her father owning the Kwik Sew company should be dismissed, as this was purely coincidental.)


Happy Friday, friends :)
Check out all the cool kids participating this week:

Baking in a Tornado                              

Spatulas on Parade                       

Stacy Sews and Schools                   

Follow Me Home                        

Battered Hope                             

The Bergham's Life Chronicles                    

Evil Joy Speaks                  

The Momisodes                                    

Someone Else's Genius                        

Confessions of a part-time working mom            

Crumpets and Bollocks                 

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                     

Eileen's Perpetually Busy