Funny Friday December 2019: Ruff Life

Hey O friends!

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by me!

This is a photo of BallPark Frank, age 13

1.  BallPark: "Let a family rescue you, they said. They will treat you with dignity in your final years. Yeah, right."

2.  BallPark:  "I'll put on your silly outfit (ONCE!) for the low-low price of a Sirloin Steak."

3.  BallPark: "If any of the other hound dogs see this picture, my reputation as 'Alpha Dog' is over."

4.  Ballpark: "How do I simultaneously look like I hate this AND love how everything feels at the same time?"

5.  BallPark: "The humans bought ME jammies for Christmas too? Don't make eye contact or you'll cry. I really am part of a family!"

Happy New Year, friends!

-Michele

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile!
Happy Weekend, friends.
-Michele

Baking In A Tornado

               Spatulas on Parade 
              Southern Belle Charm  

Funny Friday November 2019: Gone to the Dogs

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by me!

The photo is of our two dogs, BallPark Frank (age 13), and Henry (age7).

1. Henry to BallPark: "When I put my paw on your shoulder, close your eyes. The people won't make us get off the bed if we're asleep."

2. BallPark: "No one told me I'd be with a dog who snores..."

3. Ballpark: "If I go to sleep right now I'll get a good 14 hours in. In the meantime, let me think of every mistake I've ever made." 

4. BallPark: "Hmm, I'm warm and comfy, but now I have to pee.

5. BallPark to Henry: "Yeah, this position is making me feel uncomfortable."

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile!
Happy Weekend, friends.
-Michele

Baking In A Tornado

               Spatulas on Parade 
              Southern Belle Charm  

Fly on the Wall: December 2015: Questions

Welcome to the December Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 11 brave bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....

Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

In the cast this month:

Me

The man
C., The middle (son, 17)

J., The youngest (son, 11)

I'm usually asking, "WHY?" around here. A lot. And pretty loudly. But you already know that. This month, a fly on the wall might have heard more questions.  Some of the queries even had answers.

Just wondering:

Me: "What is that contraption sitting on my towel bar?"
C.: "It's an automatic soap dispenser."
Me: "Where did it come from?"
C.:  "Oh. Our store's bathrooms got new dispensers, so I brought the old one home for you. I thought it would be cool. Plus, you're always talking about not spreading germs, so I figured you'd love it."
Me: "You brought that home. From your store. Used?? Do you see anything wrong with that?"
C.: "Mom. I didn't steal it. My manger knows about it. It's totally okay."

Germ free?

***

***

Well?

Me: (rolling my eyes) "The weather channel is calling for a measurable snowstorm. Are they over-reacting?"

Mother Nature: "Um..."

My front yard. After all was said and done: 15 inches

***

***

Me: (to C., panicking). "You are NOT driving to school in this weather, are you?"
C.: "Of course!  Quit worrying."
The man: (to C.) "I shoveled the drive, but you're going to have to clear off your own car."
C: "Okay! I will." (Because it was no big deal.)

 3 hours later. He took the bus, people.

***

***

Really, Mom?:

Me to C.: "All you've been doing with your free time is playing that video game. What happened to the days of 'making art, or doing something creative?"

C: "Really, mom? 'Making Art?"
Me: "You know what I mean. Something OTHER than playing that video game."
C: "The video game is called 'Fallout'."
Me: "Yay for 'Fallout'.  Just do me a favor and do something other than "playing" Fallout all night?"
C: (not looking up from the controller) "K."

A few days later.

The man: "Did you see what your son made?"
Me: "Which son?"
The man: (in a super-impressed voice) "C.!"

I follow him to the basement.

The man: (pointing to 5 bottles) "C. made those!"

Me: "They look kind of cool. What are they?"
The man: (questioning exactly how I fit into our family.) "Haven't you ever heard of 'Fallout?' They're from that game. C. made those! " (He shakes his head at me.) "I swear. That kid is so creative."

***

***

So?:

A friend: (after last month's post) "Did you ever finish the fireplace?"
Me: "Partially. I still have to put another coat on the bricks and paint the brass insert black. I'll definitely have it done by Thanksgiving."

before

Thanksgiving (with room decorated to defer the viewer from seeing the brass insert)

Me: "Okay, so I didn't paint the brass-y part. It will absolutely be done by Christmas." 

December

Me: "I have a REALLY strong feeling that brass may be back by Spring."

Speaking of the holidays:

Me: (to J., C., and The Man) : "Can we please talk about something other than Legos, video games, or computer stuff?"

J., C., and The Man (in a united front): "Sure we can. There IS a movie showing soon..."

Me: "Is it Fallout?" 

Rhetorical questions of the month:

Me: (to the dogs, in my semi-annoying 'mama' voice) "Who loves their new sweaters, huh? Who wants to go outside and play in the snow? Huh???"

Not them.

Check out this month's participants:

Baking in a Tornado                         

Spatulas on Parade                          

Follow Me Home                           

Menopausal Mother                          

Never Ever Give Up Hope                                   

Someone Else's Genius                            

Southern Belle Charm                     

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                  

The Angrivated Mom                

Go Mama O                                       

Juicebox Confession                    
Not That Sarah Michelle               

Happy Friday, friends!

-Michele

Fly on the Wall: April 2015

Hey-O!  Welcome to the April Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 amazing bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....

Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
Me
The man
Alex, the eldest (daughter, 21) 
C., The middle (son, 16)
J., The youngest (son, 10)
Lila and Henry, the dogs

***

It will be a breeze...

That's what the man and I said when we decided to take down the playhouse that's been in our backyard for 10+ years. We had a week off for Spring Break and figured this would only take a day or so. Holy Hannah, people. We were so wrong. 
So. So. Wrong. (This story is getting its own blog post.)
For now, here's a picture of the result:

Yep, that's a dumpster. Full of a playhouse.

Easter:

It was a really good day. Those of you familiar with my struggles with depression can understand how big this was for me.

Alex and her husband spent the night before coloring eggs with us.

After all of these years, I still Google the directions on boiling eggs.

I would show you all of the colorful, finished eggs, but Alex was ready for deviled eggs. These are my Pinterest-FAIL chicks. Eh, they were still delicious.

After church, Alex and her man came over for brunch. The weather was gorgeous. We were able to sit outside and eat in the sun. I may have mentioned this before. But when my children are wrapped around my table; when they are laughing at everything and nothing at all, I am at my happiest. My whole world was right in front of me. My heart was full.

The best laugh of the day was watching my children; all grown with their lanky bodies, pushing each other over to grab up plastic Easter eggs. There was yelling and pouting, racing and hiding. That was just the married kids. All for candy-filled plastic eggs. OK, so we may have mentioned the cash hidden in some of them...

The rest of the month was busy. Alex is finishing up her last few weeks of college. C. is cramming for his AP finals and J. is enjoying the rest of his fourth grade year. Other than J., I have to keep up with the others via text. Here are some of my favorite ones:

Texting with the kids:

Me to Alex: "I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with you. That woman has issues."
Alex: "So does Satan."

***

Alex to Me:"Do you have the recipe for your buttered noodles?
Me: "Yep. Are you ready? Cook noodles. Add butter."

***

Me to Alex: "I have a conundrum. I want to be a good citizen and all-around nice person,  but I also want to punch someone in the face."
Alex: "That's easy. Voo-doo Dolls. Can someone say, "Craft night?"

***

C. (from work): "Some person dropped an entire case of beer and I had to take it to the back, so if I come home smelling like Bud Lite, um, that's why."

***

Texting with my friends:

Me: I'm going on Tuesday for the Colonoscopy.
Friend #1: "I hope everything comes out all right!"
Friend #2 "That's a pretty crappy situation."
Friend #3 "Good Luck today! (with the poop emoji.)

***

Me to my Forever Friend: "I was flipping through channels earlier and saw the movie "Flowers in the Attic." I immediately thought of you. How old were we when we read those awful things?"
F.F.: "We had to be twelve. I can't believe we got away with reading that trash! I heard the movies are pretty cheesy."
Me: "They are. So I recorded all four."
FF: "Yes! Our poor kids. They'll never be able to remember such things. What will they say to their kids? 'Hey, remember when our moms let us go to the mail box by ourselves? Remember watching that rated PG movie?'"
Me: 'Hey, remember that time we went down the stairs without holding onto the railing?'
Our grand kids will probably be wrapped in cotton and bubble wrap. Rebels.

Finally:

We took the dogs for their yearly physicals. While they had lost a bit of weight, it wasn't enough to make the vet happy. He explained (again) to me that I'm not showing love to the dogs by giving them extra food. I nodded, knowing that's exactly what I do.

Out in the car:
The man: (patting his stomach) "Did you see the vet look at me while he was talking to you about food not equalling love? I swear he was looking at me."
Me: "Oh, that's not true. He's an animal doctor. He could care less how we look. Now let's get home. I just made you an apple pie."

***

Thanks once again for reading. Thanks also to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will  take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to!

Baking In A Tornado                          

Spatulas on Parade                          

Follow me home                           

Menopausal Mother                          

Stacy Sews and Schools                        

Battered Hope                                   

Just A Little Nutty                                 

The Momisodes                                        

Someone Else’s Genius                            

Disneyland in Kentucky                                

Searching for Sanity                    

Sanity Waiting to Happen                                

The Sadder But Wiser Girl                             

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                   

Juicebox Confession                       

Happy Friday, friends!
-Michele

Use Your Words: December 2014

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 11 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 

My words are: 

Elf ~ massacre ~ tinsel ~ but ~ bloody

They were submitted by: Stacy@http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/

Stacy was a participant in Tuesday's "Blog with Friends" Hop. She gave an adorable tutorial on how to make an Elf Hat and Shoes. Her project turned out so well, I decided to give it a try.

Stacy designed her elf patterns for her cute kids, but I made mine for, well, you know-who.

Now. Before you tell me what a bloody fool I am for dressing up my fur babies, you should know that I was preparing for pictures for Christmas Cards. (Oh, be grateful I didn't go with my first idea of dressing them as Christmas Trees, covered in tinsel.)

The elf costumes led to a conversation with my youngest about the story, "The Shoemaker's Elves." I explained how I sometimes wished the story were true; that elves would be able to complete all of the unfinished projects/jobs/chores we couldn't get to. 

"Would you want the elves to write your blog posts and sew your projects?" the youngest asked?
"Hmm. NO. I don't know. Maybe..." I answered.
"But what if that COULD happen?" he wondered aloud.
"Haha. Elves? In MY craft room? It already looks like a massacre took place in there. I think even mythical creatures would have to draw the line at the doorway of that hot mess. For safety's sake." I joked. "Unless the elves were working from their own homes... Yeah, that might work."

That idea led to this: We call it, "Outsourcing." 

I wonder if those elves know how to grocery shop and pay the electric bill...

Thanks for the words and the inspiration, Stacy :)

Happy Friday, my two and four-legged friends.
-Michele

Check out all the cool kids participating this week:

Baking in a Tornado                              

Spatulas on Parade                          

Follow Me Home                            

Battered Hope                                 

Stacy Sews and Schools                      

The Bergham's Life Chronicles                       

Evil Joy Speaks                        

Juicebox Confession                             

Eileen's Perpetually Busy                 

Confessions of a part-time working mom                         

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                                 

Secret Subject Swap- March 2014

Happy March, every one!

If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 14 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:

You have a magic lamp. Where did you find it? What were your 3 wishes? Where did you leave the lamp?

It was submitted by: Michelle @ DribblesnGrits

Okay. I'm assuming infinite wishes aren't part of the deal, right? That would have been so easy!! (and maybe a little dangerous!)

Now that the snow is thawing, we are once again seeing our yard and all the work that's going to be weekends in the making. I might complain at this point, but I'm much too happy to have the snow on the mountain top (where it belongs) and not in my yard.

Leave it to the dogs to wander the depths of the yard in full gusto. Henry came back from behind the shed with more mud on his coat than hair. What in the world? I wandered back to the part of the yard I usually try to ignore: the (dreaded) grass heap. Henry had dug up something. Stepping up to the hole, I peeked in and prayed that it wasn't some one's beloved pet. Or grandma. Hey, we live in an unincorporated area. There's no telling what one might find…

I brushed off the "dug up" treasure. It was a box. Dear Lord, it WAS some one's grandma! I'm kidding. The wood cube was beautiful and locked. No worries, though. You know me. A bobby pin, the tine of an olive fork and that baby would be golden.

After a minute of my "other-side-of-the-tracks" skills, the box was open. It wasn't some one's grandma. Or money. Dang. There also weren't any spiders. If there were, the box would have to have been set afire (naturally). Nope. Sitting perfectly in the box was a kettle. A MAGIC kettle. How did I know it was magic? Because when I rubbed it, a beautiful genie that looked like Taye Diggs came out and told me I would be granted three wishes!  I turned it upside down it said the word "Magic" on it and stated that every twenty years, when polished, 3 wishes would be granted.

We signed at the top, February 2014

Now. I have read The Monkey's Paw by W.W. Jacobs. I'm fully aware of the consequences of being greedy. I chose NOT to ask the kettle for a box of assorted ice creams. That would just be selfish, right?

It makes sense. 3 wishes, 3 kids. It's what a mother SHOULD do, right? What are the chances that one of them would choose the assorted ice-cream? Eh. Here we go:

A. (the 20 year-old daughter):

"I would wish to start my dream-teaching job tomorrow (on PAYDAY!) so I can drive my brand-new car to buy myself a huge burrito from Taco Bell. I wouldn't give one care about the price of that delicious Supreme Burrito.

J. (the 9 year-old son):

"I wish for unlimited money."

C. (the 15 year-old son):

"Well…"

Three wishes. Some fulfilled more than others. What about the man, you ask? Well, before burying the box in a secret location, he partook of the extra wish we didn't know we'd get. It's the little things, people. Thank you, Taye Diggs. Magic Kettle.

Thanks for the prompt, Michelle!

Baking in A Tornado                          

The Momisodes                                       

Stacy Sews and Schools              

Follow Me Home                        

Outmanned                                  

Confessions of a part-time Working Mom              

Dribbles and Grits                                

Spatulas on Parade                       

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                 

Someone Else's Genius                     

More than Cheese and Beer             

Searching for Sanity                  

Rants From My Crazy Kitchen                             

Climaxed        

Cheers to having your craziest wishes come true :)
-Michele

Images property of shellybean and created by CJM