Secret Subject Swap- December 2013

Hello, December!!. Ugh. We are still munching on leftovers! The tree is up and we are ready (not really) for snow. Hey, we did make it to December 4th before turning on the heat. That's pretty good by any measure. I hope you are all keeping cozy! For now, it's time for the SSS!

If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 11 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:

You are asked to design a new toy in time for Christmas this year. Describe your awesome new plaything.

It was submitted by: The lovely Miss K. @ Searching for Sanity     

All I have to say is, thank goodness I'm NOT a toy inventor. With my award-winning procrastination skills, I would invent some awesome Christmas toy in the 11th hour of Christmas Eve. Remember though, it would be awesome. That's the important part.

So, like most of my subject swaps, I consulted with the kids.
"If given the chance, what kind of awesome toy would you invent? I ask.
In unison they answer, "This is for your blog, isn't it?"

Hanging my head, I admit it. I'm all out of energy. We're having this conversation while I'm putting away the laundry and the three kids are crouched together watching the latest "Vines"on a cell phone. It's one of the few things they actually do together (beside wrestle for bubble gum and the front seat,) so I let them be.

As almost every mother has done in her lifetime, I backed out of the boy's room and stepped on the pointiest LEGO known to man. (More like sixteen, but who is counting?). It was about the time that I was pulling a red LEGO from the arch of my foot when my colorful language began to surface. As I was complaining, my mind moved to the dirty clothes in the hall, to the overflowing recycling bin, and to the fruit snack wrappers collected in a corner. That led to me reminding my children that I let them live with me. In a house. With a roof and heat.…and so on. You get it. Be honest. It has happened to you.

Perhaps it was the fear of my impending melt-down, which had become cackled cries as I was tripping over "some one's" boots. Maybe it was fear that our "within a one mile perimeter" neighbors would call CPS. Who knows.

But those children? Those messy, drive-me-crazy, 'won't-throw-out-garbage-if-it-isn't-theirs' kids? They must have remembered that the 25th of December is indeed coming. Maybe they realized I might go on a holiday strike or recalled that my body carried them for 27 months (combined, whatever.)

For whichever reason, those three children got together to create for me (and you,) "The perfect Christmas Present."
Enjoy the following video knowing those kids absolutely had my back for this month's swap.

Top Selling Toy/ Product of the 2013 holiday season: Mom Doesn't Need to Know Spray!

Every Child will want one. Buy yours now in time for Christmas Day. Guaranteed to keep a child out of trouble. $49.99

Credits:
Producer/Director: Eldest Child
Writer: Eldest Child

Cast:
Youngest, messy child: Youngest Child
Playing the part of Mom and Narrator: Eldest child

Disclaimers: Written and Recorded by the Middle child.

It's moments like these when I know that being their mother is totally worth it. Thanks guys.
Now, GO clean your rooms!

My favorite movie makers.

Thanks for the topic, Miss K.!

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She is an amazing woman. You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!

    

Baking in a Tornado                                

The Momisodes                                     

Moore Organized Mayhem           

The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              

Crazy as Normal                                                 

Follow Me Home                           

Evil Joy Speaks                              

The Bergham's Life Chronicles                      

Juicebox Confession                                

Dates 2 Diapers                          

The Insomniac's Dream                      

                       

Cheers to the creative, sarcastic kids. They make my world go 'round.
Happy Weekend, friends
-Michele

Fly on the Wall #3

Hey friends!  Welcome to the 3rd Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 VERY brave bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....

Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on.. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. How often can one say that?

If you were a fly on the wall at my house this month, this is what you would have witnessed:

Cast:
Me- Yeah, that would be yours truly.
The Man- My husband
A.- The eldest child (daughter)
C. The middle child (son)
J. The youngest (son)


Regarding Lent:

The Middle Child: "I'm giving up being poor."
The Eldest: "I'm giving up sweets. No, wait. I'm giving up cake and cookies. I have a REAL Valentine this year. I am NOT giving up candy. Or chocolate. Or whatever "he" gets me..."
Me: "We're giving up fast food."
The Youngest (yelling): "Well what are we going to eat for dinner, then??"

The Blog:

Me: "I have to write about what funny things we said this month."
The Youngest: "I've said multiple funny things..just today!"

The Youngest: "I want something fun to do. No one is listening to me. A. and C. are always on their phones. Dad is always on his computer and mom is always on her blog!"
The Middle (and now grounded) child: "You just need an imaginary friend. We have them too. They live in our electronics. Yours probably lives under your bed."

Me: "Will one of you make a blog header for me? I need something new."
The middle child: "I'll do it."
Me: "Okay. I'll tell you what I want..."
The man (laughing and shaking his head) "Yeah, C. Good luck with that."
3 hours later....
Me: "It kind of looks like a little kid made it."
The Middle Child: "Well, I thought you wanted people to think YOU made it."
Me: "Very funny. Now your initials are going under it."

From the Living Room:

The Man to the eldest: "You know, as long as you're living under OUR roof..."
The Man to me: "Never tell my parents you heard that."

Me to The Man: "I am not going to sleep until I finish this puzzle."
The man: "That is going to take you all night. You can't finish that before bed."
Me: "Watch me!"
He doesn't. He goes to bed like a normal person would.
Me to the Middle Child: "I will give you $5 dollars to help me finish this puzzle."
The Middle: "But I have homework..."
Me (looking at the clock): "Okay. Twenty bucks."
The middle child: "Well, this piece goes here and this piece..."
Yeah. We finished it.

Playing the alphabet game with the three kids..
The youngest: "I have 'R'. My name is Roger. I come from Rrrrr..Rogerville, and I sell rrrrWrinkled people."
The middle: "That's not right. Wrinkled starts with..."
Me: (Making my mean-mom face). "Shhh. That's okay...."
The eldest (of course gets 'W'): "My name is Wilma. I live in Wyoming and I sell.....wrinkled people."
The older two laugh. The youngest is frustrated.
Me: "I need a drink chocolate."


That awkward moment... (this month)

When you run in your towel to let your daughter in the house, open the door and realize it's the mailman. This is why he usually stays in his Mail truck.

When your daughter comes home announcing a job change, saying she's ready to be a grown-up and you are putting together a puzzle with Red Vines coming out of your mouth. Oh, and Spongebob is on.

You move the kitchen island because you're ready for a change. You realize there is a ton of crap under it. You contemplate the situation and realize the vacuum is upstairs. You move the island right back where it was, matching up the dust spots exactly.

When you decide to practice yoga in the living room and realize there is more crap under the sofas than there was under the kitchen island.

When your three children are screaming at the top of their lungs while wrestling on the couch and all you can do is smile...and take pictures to bribe them with later.

The man: :"Don't pay any attention to J. screaming in the bathroom. C. is helping him pull out his tooth."
Me: "Was it really that loose?"
The man: "Probably not."

The eldest to me: "You know what I learned in Psychology today? 'Baby Can Read' is a lie. The whole thing is a scam."
Me: "I know."
The eldest: "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
Me: "You didn't ask."
The eldest." I feel like everything I've ever been told has been a lie." (where does she get that exaggerating thing from?)

and finally, (Drum Roll Please.)

Me to the middle child (my son): "Are you wearing my jeans?"
The middle child: "I don't know..."


Thanks once again to the Fly's creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "I'm-putting-a-fire-under-your-butt-shellybean-so-get-writing", for hosting this challenge!



Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Come on. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                    

Big A Little a                                  

The Insomniac's Dream                        

Just a Little Nutty                              

The Sadder but Wiser Girl                       

Stacy Sews and Schools             

Menopausal Mother              

Don't Chew On The Dinner Table    

My Brain on Kids                                       

Finding Felicity                                 

The Rowdy Baker                                      

The Momisodes                                  

Black Sheep Mom  

Raising Reagan                

Moore Organized Mayhem

Happy 3 day weekend, friends!

- Michele

QWERTY kind of clean...

I always get antsy on Sunday nights. If you've read the blog before, you know this goes back to my teaching days and my anxiety over a new week.

Each Sunday at about six o'clock,  I start banging stuff around. I begin stepping over the weekend's accumulated junk and continue panicking about the all the things we need to do and asking aloud,  "What if someone suddenly stops by to visit? What will they think?"

Sometimes the family remembers this and starts straightening up the house.

Okay, not really. They actually look surprised EVERY Sunday as I start the "Who made this mess?/Whose shoes are these?/ Who dumped Chex mix in the living room? Where is everyone?" rant. Eventually, everyone comes huffing and puffing, grabbing and throwing, until our house is a collection of grouchiness and wishing at that moment, we each lived ANYWHERE else.

They (my family) all know what the base of the problem is. It is NOT their stuff lying all over the house. It's not the piles of books, shoes, soda cans or paper plates that are upsetting them. It is, in fact, the crazy-lady who has suddenly noticed a room looking like a tornado passed through it. Where did this woman with the waving arms and voice with an unrecognizable octave come from? What happened to our dear mother who picks up after us every other day of the week? Same story. Any given Sunday evening...

It was about five o'clock THIS week when I rounded the corner and saw the man with the vacuum. What? It was out and so was a Magic eraser. My first thought was, "Okay what did he spill?" My second thought was, "What did he spill?" Yeah, same thought. I'm loving like that.

The man was carrying Q-tips, tooth picks and Lysol wipes and I have never been more turned on in my life. What was he doing? Did he notice all the crumbs in the coffee table too? Was he setting up some system to get the filthy fingerprints off the wall?

Nope.

Wait for it.

Next to the Q-tips were these.

 That adorable man of mine overlooked the crushed cookies on the floor. He kicked away the shoes under the coffee table with one foot, and smooshed the Chex-mix chip bag under the sofa with his other foot. There was important work to be done.

Yep. My first husband found it necessary to remove, clean and replace every single key on a keyboard.

Welcome to my world.

Just look at that attention to detail. Excuse the blurriness of my pictures. I was literally shaking.

Feel free to visit my house on Sundays, friends. You may be appalled at the cluttered living room. You might look past newspapers strewn in the hall or back packs lined up the stairs. There could be a chance you won't break your ankles tripping over LEGOS or cell phone chargers.. Just make sure you're wearing sunglasses. Because your eyes might wander far enough. They may just scan across two rooms and possibly make contact with our computer keyboard. (Under the desk.) You will immediately recognize it. It will be the only thing that is blindingly clean and NOT covered in Chex mix.

Priorities, people.


Happy "Take-what-you-can-get" day, friends.

Put a fork in it...

Hey-O, friends.

In my never-ending search for normalcy, I have a few more "Have you ever?" questions to ask ...

Today's topic: Plastic silverware.

You know. The kind you buy for parties or for picnics?

Here we go:

* Have you ever needed JUST forks or JUST spoons for your special occasion, but the only things left on the grocery store shelves were 26 boxes of knives?

* Have you ever wanted the "fancier," clear-plastic cutlery, but all you could find at Walmart was the cheap, white, bendy kind?

* Have you ever wanted forks or spoons in a certain color to perfectly match your family's Halloween/Birthday/Christmas/Arbor Day theme party?

* Have you ever reached the paper-goods aisle only to forget which type of utensil you were out of? Was it the pack of spoons you were lacking, or was it the knives? Now you have to buy one of each, just in case. (BTW, Can anyone cut ANYTHING with a plastic knife? Don't say cake. That's what the sides of plastic forks are for. Don't say BBQ pork chops. You KNOW you pick those up with your hands and shake the meat off the bones like a rabid dog....)

Anyway... I asked these questions regarding disposable eating utensils in the hopes that you might say, "Yes!! Of course I've been in that situation! I NEVER have enough "real" silverware for my guests! None of my spoons match! All of my "real" forks are dirty! I don't mind at all putting another dent in our landfills! Who DOESN'T want pink spoons or clover leaf-green forks?"

I'm crossing my fingers and my toes hoping you will have said ANY of those things.

Because today, I cleaned out part of our pantry-closet. OK. Not really CLEANED. I was actually looking for cupcake cups and found everything but cupcake cups. This particular closet has been a place where I  shove  stuff with my feet and close the door really fast put party supplies and a little of everything else EVER sold in the seasonal party-section of Target...

Back on the topic of plastic silverware. In that unorganized closet, in every nook and cranny, where there should have been some all-forsaken cupcake liners.....

You guessed it. This instead, my understanding friends, is what I found:

I know what you're thinking.

I OBVIOUSLY need a pseudo-flatware intervention...

.... and some SPORKs.

Happy National "give-a-fake-fork-to-everyone-you-know" Day, friends :)

Day 23 of Forty: No Allowance for me..

We're pretty strict around here about chores. There aren't a lot, but the ones you have, you do and you do well. After they're complete, then you can ask for whatever favor you need. It sounds a bit staunch, but it works for us. Want to hang out with a friend? Clean your room! Want to watch a movie? Pick up those Legos. Want to live? Make those chip bags under your bed disappear! The kids sometimes get frustrated at their parents, wishing that every once in awhile they could maybe just catch a break...

If you've followed the blog, you know how much time I spend in my craft room. It's where I get all of my sewing and most of my other projects done. I usually start a project, make an unbelievable mess, THEN I try to put everything back.

I had a few new orders I needed to fill and you know I LOVE that room, but it has been an odd weather week in March where I live. The usually junky cold weather has decided to cooperate fully with sun-loving people and to top that, there has been 60+ degree weather to boot.

I started the week by bringing my sewing machine upstairs and setting it up in the back of the living room. I thought, "Oh, I'll only sew a few things so I can look out the window, get some sun and then I'll bring the machine back downstairs to finish everything else."

Only the days kept being gorgeous! I needed to catch up on some laundry and a few TV shows that we DVRd this week. "Perhaps I'll just bring up a few other things and multi-task." I tried to reason with myself. "I'll finish up here and then bring it down there.." Yes, I did sound like the Grinch. I just didn't want to be in the basement!

But by last night, the living room looked like this:

Oh dear.
"I promise Mr. Man, I will have this all picked up soon. I realize that everyone shouldn't have to walk on the carpet and dodge needles like it's a minefield. I will probably take down that ironing board sometime tomorrow morning.."

All of a sudden, "tomorrow morning" became today. It was beautiful yet again, but I knew I had a job to do. The kids were at school, the man was at work and I had a pretty good chunk of time to clean up the disaster otherwise known as Craft Room, Level II. Ah. Suck it up Michele, and get it done.

As I began to dig into the mess, my phone across the room started buzzing. Scissors, fabric and an iron in hand, I contemplated checking it before taking my first trip downstairs. I worried that it might be my daughter, so I picked up the phone and checked the text.

"Hey Loser, Can you get coffee?" It was a sentimental invitation from a very good friend. I looked at the mess in my living room, then at the mess that was me; I hadn't even gotten cleaned up yet. I also thought of all of the rest of the "chores" I needed to do today and texted back, "Yes!"

I know I've got a lot of explaining to do. I should have cleaned up that mess before having any fun. But I had a needed blast with a friend who didn't care that I had holes in my jeans or mascara smudged under my eyes from crying after I stepped on a blasted pin..

The mess is still there. It will have to wait until tomorrow. The kids never mentioned it. The man texted me while I was out after I didn't answer the home phone and said, "I hope you're out having fun!" I knew he meant it. He realizes that by spilling my guts to and laughing with a girlfriend, I will be renewed. Plus I won't have to talk at him about all the minute things that get on my nerves during the day. Win-win.

I realized chores CAN sometimes wait in the name of an unexpected cafe drive-thru, a trip to Target and a good friend.

I will be sure to remember this when I step on the inevitable LEGO later or trip on a backpack or two. The older two kids asked to hang out with their friends tonight. (There isn't any school tomorrow.) Before asking if their chores were done, I paused for a sec, then told them to go and have fun. We all need a break every once in a while.

Have a restful night, friends. Tomorrow is Friday!

Day 19 of Forty- Grateful Sunday :)

Hello friends! Here are my five thank-yous for the week:

1. The man and I ventured all the way to IKEA yesterday. (It's about an hour away, so you have to know ahead of time that the whole journey is going to take up a good chunk of your day.) After walking around forever and two minutes, I found myself exhausted and sitting in the middle of the cafe, checking out the treasures in my over sized yellow bag. I found those cute little lemonade bottles with the stoppers and metal clips and was pretty excited, since I'd been eyeing them in another store for quite a while. When I looked up from the bag-o-goodies, I saw that man of mine, soda and silverware in one hand and my steaming hot coffee cup in another. Right there walking toward me is my grateful number one. Yeah, he's my husband. Sometimes he's my shopping or DIY-ing partner. But lately, he's been what I've needed most; a really good friend.

2. The eldest came to help me teach a class of first graders on Friday. It was amazing to be teaching in my very first classroom (circa 1996), with not only my youngest in the class, but with my daughter who also had attended first grade in the very same room. Her teacher was the person who adopted my family when we moved to Utah. The world is an extremely, wonderfully small place sometimes. Memories flooded back and helped me to relish blessings both in the past and in the present.

3. A bunch of students on Friday noticed that I colored my hair and didn't even laugh or point at me. Sure, their ages range from 6-12, but every little kind thing counts. Especially when a fifth grader tells you, "Wow. You don't look so old, Mrs. M."   Me: Winning!

4. Me, writing this blog to you at 7:30 p.m. and STILL seeing daylight!

5. We have most of the "theatre-like" room done. The walls are bare and the sofas are in large need of some pillow-love, but it is the man's baby, and he's pretty happy. I think it's because his office is currently cotton candy pink, but that's another story for another time.

I told you I'd leave a few pics, so here they are. Remember, everything is a work-in-progress :)

Before: Here is the very messy playroom, peppered with a ton of teaching stuff.

After: It might look as if IKEA has taken ownership of the room, but that's okay. The storage is wonderful!

Before: The back wall, full of miscellaneous toys. P.S. The room was a blue/grey color.

After- The "Concession Area." We thought it would be fun to have a place to store drinks and snacks. We are still those strict parents who make the kids ask before consuming any of that; if only to make sure they're not eating mama's stuff :)

Before: Here is the only window in the room. It makes for a dark place, which I guess is why it's the theatre. This was the only source of light I had when teaching.. Ack!

After: You know, if you're going to complain about lack of light, you really should go out and buy yourself a pair of black curtains..and then close the blinds ;) Here is the apex of excitement for the man and me. An air hockey table. We have been known to push small children out of the way at Chuck-E-Cheese to play this game. The kids get a chance to enjoy it if we're not around.

Before: Here is a pic I'm using as an example to show you the careful measures I take when painting. Push everything into the middle of the room, open the paint can and GO!!!!

After: Here is the same view with our IKEA couch and Target game chairs.  We assembled it all and only had a handful of screw left over ;) This arrangement works well because the game chairs are much shorter. We can all watch a movie and be able to see the screen. Notice the eggplant wall, bare as a baby's bottom. I need to hang some pictures...soon. It's kind of driving me crazy. Notice that the boys could care less about decor issues...

After: Here's a view from the sofa on the back wall.

That's the room. (We are still contemplating hanging that TV.) What do you think?

Happy Sunday, friends :)

Day Six of Forty: "Zippy-di-do-da!"

Hey-o, friends!

I've been overwhelmed this winter with a ton of fabric scraps. There's not enough of one kind of material to make a whole bag, but there is too much to warrant throwing any of it out.

Either way, it was causing one of those piles that you store in a corner...
then realize you're looking for a certain piece of fabric...
but that piece is on the bottom of the pile.
You  decide to pull it out magician-style,
and it all falls over.
So finally you remember fifty other things you'd rather be doing
than folding uneven pieces of fabric into a pile; color-coded, no less.
That happens to everyone, right?

I promised myself (and the man) that I would try to use up some of the fabric I already own before bringing any more into the house. Trust me, that WAS the plan. But this afternoon, Fabriclovers.com dropped off a few yards of some incredibly gorgeous new spring cottons. I'm not going to lie to you, they are bee-you-tee-full!! Thank you, Springtime and thank you adorable UPS man! I call fair on the delivery though, because the fabric is for custom orders.

The husband was home sick today.. so when the delivery truck stopped in front of our home, I ran to intercept "whatever" was being delivered. Ahem. Me trying to sneak that package into the house, looked like nothing short of a drug deal...Yes. Yards of Kona cotton is my drug of choice and my dealer drives a brown box truck and wears shorts in the winter.

Back to the leftover fabrics. What to do, what to do? About a week ago, I decided that I wasn't going to let the scraps go to waste,  so I made a bunch of little Zippys. Do you remember the Zippys?

Zippy pouch prizes


They are little wallet-sized zipper pouches that are made with cute fabrics and lined with sometimes, even CUTER fabrics. They are small enough to throw in your bag, but just big enough to hold the important things, like a phone, tissues or credit cards. If you're me, they hold lipstick, business cards and emergency chocolate. What more does a girl need?

The pouches are adorable and will be up in the store throughout this week. Go give them a peek and help out a girl who is trying to get her hands on that new fabric...Mmmm. Ya know, I don't REALLY have a problem. I CAN stop any time. Just one more yard of new fabric; that's all I need...

Seriously, look out for those cute little Zippys. A few of you already have one, but you might need another and you can always give one away as a gift. They're a great deal at between five and seven bucks each plus shipping. Be patient. They take a while to load in the shop. I just want to give you a heads-up that they are coming...Any questions? Any testimonials? What do/would you keep in yours? You know where to leave your comments.

These are the Zippys going into the shop this week :)

Every girl needs at least one, right?

I went to take a pic to show you how big a Zippy was and realized I needed my phone for that (duh!), so that Blackberry belongs to the man. If I threw in the chocolate, I MIGHT be able to sell him a Zippy. Silly Rabbit. There isn't any more chocolate.

Have a beautiful Monday, friends.

Three things you WON'T find on Pinterest..

You know how you can gaze for hours at all the ideas on Pinterest? Sure you do. Please, please tell me I'm not the only one...

There are a million and three ideas on that site and I swear I'm addicted to taking as much of it in as possible. It's wonderful to see all the creativity in the world as well as all of the generous people willing to share new ideas. Many times I've looked at pages and thought, "Hey, I did that too!" or "I can't believe I didn't think of that!" or "How much money and time do those people have?" Yeah, the last one is said most often...

I was making my bed this morning and looking around the bedroom. Hmm. What if someone took a picture of it? What would I want people to see? And then I started to laugh. Loudly. Because the thought of someone capturing the junk in there is nothing short of comical. Why would anyone photograph such stuff? ....Oh yeah, because they write a blog...about imperfection. Hey, I'm a giver.

So ladies, be prepared to have your socks knocked off at three pieces of non-Pinterest worthy gems found in my "Master Suite". It's always okay to be a bit envious....

#1 The Ugliest Lamp on the Face of the Earth.

 In what was one of my "off" days of junking, I picked up this little lady. Yes, she's brassy and heavy. She also has a plug that probably dates back to the days of Edison. Perhaps the lamp WAS Edison's.... The husband warned me that it was probably not something I'd want to update, but I didn't listen. (shocking, I know.) Instead, I brought it home, put it where I thought it might go, and absolutely hated it. With my head hung in shame, I brought it up to our room where it does not match a thing. That lamp takes up space we do not have and stares at me like the two-headed monster it is. I need to give it away, but who could I do that to???

#2 The Bread Machine.

On my chair. In the bedroom. Really? This is the second machine we've purchased. The first one caught on fire one night while it was pretending to make cinnamon bread. We bought this one, but I can't bring myself to plug it in. I have a hideous fear of fire, and even though this is probably a perfectly-working appliance, I'm pleading "crazy" and giving it away. I know. How in the world can I not use a new bread machine but am willing to purchase a lamp that some one's great-great grandmother might have darned socks under? I have no rhyme nor reason; you know that... Anywhoo, it's waiting patiently for a new home.

#3 The Dreaded Sock/ Mitten Basket.

Dear heavens, people. I have washed 3000 loads of laundry and still have yet to find the matches to these orphans. I am pretty sure I will never find the mates, but on the small chance that one of our children clean their rooms, or somehow we clear our disaster of a garage and find even ONE sock or mitten, I keep that basket. Seriously, there are infant socks in there. We probably have enough money to replace the stained light blue mitten with a hole in the pinkie finger....but what if? What if we find it's mate? Ugh. So, it sits there (and probably always will) until I'm convinced those little loners are truly destined to live their lives out as rags or puppets.

There you go. 3 totally non-brag-worthy pictures. Oh my goodness, if there were ONLY three.

Isn't life grand? Feel free to tell me about your item(s) of shame..I'm hoping there are many others out there who don't live in magazine-ready homes...

Happy Friday, friends.

I think I'm on the naughty list...

It's been a rough couple of days.  I kept tripping on the advent calendar the youngest made for me at school. He brought it home in all its glory; a beautiful yellow bell with a chain of 25 red and green loops he pressed together with his little hands. It's the exact same one I made with my Kindergarten students every year. I always wondered if those things made it home in 1-26 pieces..

The youngest watched proudly as I hung it on the door in the kitchen. You know, the door I open and close 500 times a day. Hour after hour,  I carefully try not to step on a strip or a loop. I'm also cautious not to slip and fall when landing on all the past strips that have been cut ceremoniously. By the looks of it, I'm assuming that actually picking up the scraps and throwing them away must take a little magic out of the countdown to Christmas. Eh.

Like I said, it was a bad day. I looked at the mess on the floor under the door and watched as tomorrow's loop barely swayed across the kitchen floor..I exhaled. I walked over to the paper advent thingy hanging on the door, and.............. well..................... let's just say it now has one less paper loop on it. THere. I said it.

I was grouchy and wanted to cut someone something.

It was a red one. Hanging there and swaying back and forth, back and forth. I think it was trying to make me feel bad for yelling at the kids about their dirty bedrooms, or for not getting any Christmas shopping done today. I think it even might have called me lazy...

I showed it. It and its construction paper ring that is still lying flat on the floor.

Ugh. I didn't feel better and the green ring who was next in line was getting nervous....so I walked away..I hope that Christmas still comes this year, even though I now have inadvertently hastened it by one day cutting that loop and all...

How many days 'til the decorations come down, friends?

Monday Makeover II

So, my mother-in-law let me take home this table a few years ago. (No, the woman NEVER stops giving..) She even had a new top made for it because she rocks like that. I have to be honest and say that I have loved it ever since I saw it in its original state. I thought the old paint gave it character.. I had it in my living room for a long time. But one day, I noticed the paint was literally falling off onto the floor. When I picked up the pieces of paint, they would turn into powder. All I could think of was "LEAD PAINT!", and perhaps the realization that the man's mother might have an alternative motive with all this gift-giving...

-and HERE is a picture of an organizer the man bought for my birthday last year. A hint maybe to, you know, be more organized? You have been following the blog and saw the before shot of the closet yesterday, right? Even though there was important "stuff"stuffed in those cubicles, there was no order to it at all. I really do love this little piece of furniture, but still haven't used it properly.

And then that man went and helped me make a teeny tiny, fantastic office...He actually helped make the stripes, remember? 

Now I know this is going to be shocking to all of you, but I decided to paint the table and organizer. Yes. More paint. Even all those little annoying cubicle-thingies.. (what in the world was I thinking?)

I used the last of the aqua paint from the room and mixed it with another quart of creamy-white paint. When it was finished, the man helped spray the whole thing with a lacquer spray paint. I know you can't see it from the pictures, but it has a soft shine to it. Perfect for a very girly office. Will it stay organized? Your guess is as good as mine.. (if your guess is "No!")

Here is the finished product..

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I'm not sure if I'll regret painting that old red table.  For now though, it's exactly what I want.

Have an organized week for me, friends :)

Thought from the little guy....

"It's a really good thing you didn't marry somebody like a garbage man..." says the youngest.

Sensing a teaching moment on nipping any snobbery in the bud as well as how every person's job is equally important, I take a deep breath.....

"Why do you say that?" I ask, curtly.

"Because he couldn't fit his garbage truck in the garage. Dad drives a little car and it barely fits." he explains.

Now I shift from lecturer to thinker.

I understand that he was speaking spatially, not socially.

I try not to take offense to the fact that my garage is so full of junk, it barely fits our small cars and that a six year old can see what I apparently can't.

Finally, I now must come to the realization that an affair or second marriage with a school bus driver, FEDEX guy or a big-rig trucker is more than likely, out of the question.

Happy Thursday, friends :)

My Schizophrenic Cupboards..

Remember these?

And this try at organizing?

It didn't last long at all. I'm not kidding. They both filled right back up with junk. During a quick look for food coloring a month ago, I  accidentally knocked over a shelf and dropped/ broke a boxful of various jars of red hots, hard candies and a few thousand sprinkles. I completely lost it. It doesn't take much these days...

Let's say that any attempt to catch 50 things falling simultaneously from high shelves failed miserably.  I  remembered other things that had been bothering me during that day and decided to channel my inner-child, and throw a mini fit screaming, unnecessary tantrum. Yes, nothing is quite as soul-cleansing as picking up millions of cookie decorations while yelling words that could make a sailor call for his mommy. It was not one of my shining moments as a mom. Or a grown-up.

While it seems silly to throw such a fit over a baking cupboard, please know that there are many serious things our family has had to deal with over the last few weeks. I just happen to be the type of person who has to find control and order SOMEWHERE. If it has to be keeping up an unorganized piece of kitchen furniture, then so be it.

The man and I walked off some of my steam that afternoon at Lowe's -or as my older children like to call it, "The most boring store put upon the face of the earth."

I found these cute curtain rod finials-

and got an idea. I didn't share my plan with the man because he was quite finished at the moment with me and home improvement....you know, with our kitchen still looking like the Keebler Elves met Mrs. Fields and Betty Crocker, had a drunken party and left all the evidence on my floor.... Oh, did I not mention the man rescued me mid-tantrum/cleaning? He's very brave when he needs to be...

I picked the finials up with my idea filed away. They had two black and two white ones in stock. I needed all white, but knew I could spray paint the black ones. For heaven's sake. We were at LOWE's- One has a right to think of home improvement. Correct? .

Anywhoo, I've always wanted glass on those cupboard doors. What better way to HAVE to keep the cupboards organized? We had talked about the idea many times before. Truth be told, I talked about them many times. The man would just nod, praying I would think of something else. We I had even considered cutting out the centers of the doors  and replacing them with glass. For five minutes. Neither of us have that much patience nor DIY talent. That's okay, because IKEA had beautiful glass doors that were pretty inexpensive and just the right size. We thought it over and when the man's mom called us last week from IKEA (angels singing,) we decided to go for it and have her pick up the doors.

Those cute finials? They made perfect little feet for the bottom cupboards. We spray painted two of them and had to add about an inch of wood to each one before screwing them into the cabinet base. I absolutely love that they match the feet on my island. I'd show you my island, but it is full of junk right now, so just go with it ....

Those cupboards have a new identity; a little hutch that finally looks like it was meant to be there.  All I have to do now, is figure out what color it wants to be...(quietly though, lest the man consider moving out.)  One thing for sure. It will NOT house anything that has sprinkles. Ever. I think...

Oh, I know. This is a super long story that really could have been told in a picture or two. But just like the doors on that now-organized hutch, transparency is best. Thanks for reading about the crazy things that go on both in this house and in my head :)

Happy Tuesday, friends.

Two Word Wednesday...

Garage Fail :(

Take a look, it's in a book...(this post is as long as a book)

I am and always have been a voracious reader. Borderline obsessed. Oh, tack it on to my other disorders...

I'm not sure when it began, but I vaguely remember my first grade teacher pulling a picture book out of my hand and reminding me that it was time for recess. I mustn't have heard her announce the precious elementary break time. I didn't see the children lining up in single file, ready to own the playground, toy by toy. We usually jumped over one another for the opportunity to grab the best jump rope or the bounciest rubber ball...

I don't remember the name of that picture book. Goodness, I don't remember the names of some of the books I read this past week. I do know however,  that one of the greatest gifts I've ever received was the ability to read.  I'm not talking about sounding out words phonetically. I'm not talking about speed reading. I disliked fewer things in school than being told to read something and answer the questions at the end.  Before I get screamed at by my fellow educators, understand that I get why some of those tasks are important. But they are for the most part, our  measuring needs as teachers. Whether or not I could read 116 words per minute in no way measured what I understood, interpreted or found applicable from a reading passage.

What I'm talking about is the enjoyment of reading. Reading from choice or interest rather than assignment. I can teach almost anyone to read. It's my specialty. But I can not teach anyone to love reading. That has to come in their own time, in their own way. 

I loved going to the library in school. I remember taking a wood ruler/place marker and searching for the perfect book. I think when you're young you kind of DO judge a book by its cover. Following the Dewey decimal system, I'd carefully slide my ruler next to the book so as not to lose my place, open up the plastic covered prize, check out the size of the words and begin to imagine the story. If it was to my liking, I'd close the book,  hold it tight and walk in total reverence to the librarian. She'd look at the book, look at me (making me wonder if I was worthy of taking it,) stamp the card in front and recite a date when the book needed to be returned. Now, I don't know about you. But I remember thinking, "What kind of maniac wouldn't bring a book back?" We not only got to borrow a book, we got to bring it back and get another one! What a fabulous idea. 

It's funny what we remember as children. Reading for me was a wonderful escape. I devoured the stories about children who lived in box cars. I got the Amelia Bedelia mix-ups. I wanted to be Nancy Drew's friend or one of the Hardy Boy's girlfriends. Judy Blume wrote about girls that were like me.  I got a letter from Beverley Cleary in the fourth grade and thought I could die right then. Blubber could have been MY little brother....

When I was a teen, I snuck Harlequin romances under my bed and read books that were earmarked in just the right places. Friends would trade books like shoes. "I'll give you my Jane Erye book for your new Danielle Steele novel.." and so it went until....well, one of my girlfriends and I still swap out books.

Now that I'm older, my interests have changed, but my love for reading has not. One of my favorite things in the house is my library. No, it's not a dark room with walls full of bookshelves and sliding ladders, (I wish!!)  but it is filled with many of my reference books and favorite reads. Still though,  I have boxes of books strewn through the house and garage. Me, with too much of something? Shocking. Too many for even a room full of books. I came to realize there are probably hundreds of books that I could be sharing instead of storing. What good are any of these without being used? Was my only interest so people would look at the library and say, "Wow. you have a lot of books. You must be really well-read. You must be one of them-there smart people.".. Um, no. Instead, a relative came over and perused the bookshelves and asked, "Do you really know how to speak Japanese or are you being pretentious?" The answer is yes and maybe a little yes. I used to speak some Japanese, but I don't speak to many other people using it. I can barely read it anymore, so truthfully, I don't know what my intention was by choosing to put it on a shelf instead of my well-written-reads-that-became-cheesy-movies-books. Seriously. I have a shelf full of feng shui gardening books and I live in the desert. Oh and did I mention that I loathe gardening?

What in the world is the point of this post? Well, I'm slowly trying to simplify my world.  I decided to start getting rid of some of the overflow; a little at a time.... 

This is what I'm going to do. Starting with the book shelves, I'm going to read a book (I bought it for SOME reason..) and then I'm giving that baby (the book) away. Do you want it? Let me know. I'll send it to you. If you live down the street, I'll give it to you. We'll do a little drawing with each book, unless you're the only one who wants it...then, well it's yours!

I have one favor. Read and enjoy the book and then, please give it to someone else. Pass it on to a family member, a friend or drop it off to your nearest women's shelter. Don't let it gather dust. 

I think of that little girl borrowing one book at a time from her school, never imagining in a million years she'd be blessed to have so many books of her own. She would never have kept them from being shared. By reading and passing them along, it would have made her appreciate each and every book and maybe, a little more excited for the next read...

What do you think? Let me know..

Have a wonderful Friday, friends :)

In your face, cupboards!

Okay, so just two cupboards. Out of four. And two drawers. But I only did the two cupboards, not the drawers... Celebrate the small things, people. :) If you were here yesterday, you saw the heaping mess that was my baker's pantry....

 Baker's pantry. Sounds fancy, eh?

It's actually a set of very small cabinets, filled with items I use for baking; too thin to hold much else.

On a wall with a shelf.

That doesn't host electricity.

With bowls and cookbooks on it.

So, I name it after whatever is stuffed in the cabinets at that time. Once, it was a "Tupperware Palace". Before that, it was my "Flintstone/Garfield got-it-free-with-purchase-from A&W/McDonald's/other burger joint jelly-jar-collection hutch." For conversational reasons alone, isn't "Baker's Pantry" a better fit?

I was overwhelmed at the mess that I, with no regard for dignity, posted.  I took out everything and gave it my best shot. Or half-hearted shot. You get it.

So here it is. If you haven't viewed the "before pictures", check out the previous post or this is going to be an EPIC letdown. For the rest of you, bask in the glow of an organizational masterpiece...Ha-Ha-ha.....ha...ha.  Aw, I love you guys.

Where did I put all that chocolate? Well, I placed it...

...

yeah, right. My family reads this blog!

DISCLAIMER- the organization in the above photos is guaranteed to last 24  12 hours. After that, who knows......

Woo Hoo! Now, On to those two drawers....

I'll try and work on them soon. Or at least before June.

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Are you kidding me?

Oh, I knew I'd use the name of this post sooner or later...

Hello friends,

Being that it's the third day of the year AND a Monday, I thought I'd get off to a rousing start on the whole "organization" goal I set for myself in 2011 (aka this morning.)  I figured I'd start with 2 cupboards I use in the kitchen for storing my baking stuff. Confident and full of energy, I saw this- 

 and this.....

Yup. And there are two more just like it on the bottom. Ugh. So, I started cleaning out some of the contents and began to see  a pattern....Amongst the flour, sugar and cupcake liners,  I found these- (organized for your pleasure on apparently the only surface I own)...

This leads me to a question. Can one EVER own enough chocolate, coffee or frosting? I'm going to say no. No, one cannot. Especially when  one is a stay-at-home mom of a teen, a tween, AND a six-year old. Some days are hard, man.

 I'm frustrated.

 I'm embarrassed.

 I'm hungry.


I stuffed it all back. Yes, I did.  Organization will have to wait. I thank God that I have cupboards filled with yummy foods, but I thank Him even more for the doors on those cupboards.

 Happy Monday, friends :)