Showing posts with label keeping it real. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keeping it real. Show all posts

Friday, June 12, 2020

UYW June 2020: It's NOT Mac N" Cheese


Hey-O friends!
Today's post is a writing challenge created by Karen@Baking In A Tornado. 10 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until, today.  

My words are: control, grass, medical, rebate, furious

They were submitted by Karen@ Baking In A Tornado Thank you, my friend!


*** 
I've never been the kind of person who likes to shop just for the sake of "shopping." All of the people, all of the choices...it makes my anxiety go through the roof just thinking about it.

The introvert in me appreciates the conveniences and solitude of online shopping. This has never been more true than in these past few months with the Covid Pandemic. Some online stores deliver within a few days, some even take coupons and rebates. Others can come to your car and drop off stuff in your trunk! It's borderline magical. We've been able to buy our groceries, clothing, medical supplies, and many other things without crowds or time limits.  Hey, online in April, we even bought a new bed!Who knew shopping could be that easy?

My favorite thing about online shopping though, has been the ability to keep my Grams (age 90), who lives back in Michigan, well fed, adorably dressed, and hopefully needing for nothing more than company. She'll always call and update me with the food that she made from her Amazon pantry boxes, or about the conversations she has with the delivery people that are kind enough to put her boxes safely on an indoor porch. 
***
I was returning to my house from a doctor's appointment when I saw that I had 2 voicemails. One was from my brother, Charley (who also lives in Michigan) and the other was from Grams. 

Charley: "Hey Shell, Grams called me because she got some large boxes and can't bring them in the house. She's worried because the delivery people left them outside on the grass. It's raining here and she needs my help. Just wanted you to know that's what's up."

I text Charley: "No worries. I was trying to surprise her with that Mac N' Cheese she loves. I bought a 24 pack. It's probably awkward to lift. Thx so much for taking care of it. Wear your mask!"

Then I listen to my Gram's voicemail:
Grams: "Shelly, some boxes came and they're really big. It's starting to rain. Charley is going to try to help me...Did you buy me a new piano or something?...Call me, this is Grams." (She always tells me who she is at the end of her messages.)

That's weird, I thought. I was starting to call Grams back when a text came in from Charley.
Charley: "Um, it's NOT Mac N' Cheese."




When I saw the photo, my heart fell into my stomach. I knew exactly what was in those boxes. I could NOT believe it.

I must have accidentally sent my Grams the new bed I ordered for our home!

To Michigan, Not Utah. 

You know, in all these years, I could have mistakenly sent her a yoga mat or some pop-tarts, but no. It had to be three boxes of an assemble-yourself bed! 

It was completely my fault. I had sent Grandma something from this same online retailer before. When I ordered the bed for me, I must have seen her address and never thought twice about it. Grams had no control over what to do with the bed, so my brother brought it to his house until we could straighten everything out. I was beyond furious with myself. I told my husband that we'd just keep the same bed we've had for 20 years and I'd give this new one to Charley or Grams. But, truthfully, it was never going to fit in Gram's cute house and it definitely wasn't a style my brother would embrace. It's a green four poster. Yep, green.

So we returned it back to the retailer. When they credited our account, my husband said to order another one if I really loved it and he'd stand OVER me while I bought it, but they didn't have another green bed. I tried again a few days later and guess what? They did have one! (pretty certain it was the one I returned). After three weeks of back and forth, with me holding my head as low as it could go, that bed finally arrived at my house.

"You sure you want to go with green?" asked the man, while unpacking the boxes.
"Are you kidding me?THIS is the last green bed we are ever buying! Ever!" I say.

Or, you know, until one of the kids needs a bed.


BTW, my Grams laughed at the whole thing and asked when her Mac'N Cheese would arrive. 
"Sooner than my bed, Grams."



Have a restful weekend, friends!
Love, Michele

Check out the posts from this month's participating bloggers!
             Baking In A Tornado
             Spatulas on Parade
             Wandering Web Designer
             On the Border
             Sparkly Poetic Weirdo/        
             Part-Time Working Hockey Mom   


Friday, February 14, 2020

Words With Friends February 2020: Yum!



Hey-O friends!

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  10 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.  

My words are:
triple, pairings, enjoyed, last, missive
They were submitted by: Jenn @
https://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/ 
Thanks for the words, Jenn!

***
Attention Employees: Read and memorize this week's missive via Chef Boyar-Jonah.





Chef Boyar-Jonah, circa 2008



Enjoy your weekend, friends,
-Michele

Check out the other cool kids participating this week:

                         Baking In A Tornado
                          Spatulas On Parade
                  Wandering Web Designer
                                  On The Border   
                       Southern Belle Charm  
                                         Climaxed   
                       Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
                           Medicated Musings     

Friday, November 29, 2019

Funny Friday November 2019: Gone to the Dogs


Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by me!

The photo is of our two dogs, BallPark Frank (age 13), and Henry (age7).

1. Henry to BallPark: "When I put my paw on your shoulder, close your eyes. The people won't make us get off the bed if we're asleep."

2. BallPark: "No one told me I'd be with a dog who snores..."

3. Ballpark: "If I go to sleep right now I'll get a good 14 hours in. In the meantime, let me think of every mistake I've ever made." 

4. BallPark: "Hmm, I'm warm and comfy, but now I have to pee.

5. BallPark to Henry: "Yeah, this position is making me feel uncomfortable."


Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile!
Happy Weekend, friends.
-Michele

               Spatulas on Parade 
              Southern Belle Charm  

Friday, November 15, 2019

Use Your Words: How to test your marriage. part 305





Hey-O friends!
Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  8 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.   

My words are: sustainable ~ various ~ coping mechanism ~ slanted ~ raccoon ~ circus
They were submitted by the very creative Jenniy @
https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com               
                     
Oh, friends. If you've read this blog for a long time you know that I like to change things up a bit in my home every now-and-then. If it's something simple like painting or moving furniture, I do it myself. If it's more difficult (ala plumbing, electrical or heavy-lifting,) I ask the man for his assistance. This time, I wanted to update our main bathroom. The room is a bit awkward, as it also houses our laundry.  So, I brought it up to the man.

He's silent for a minute (this is him recalling every circus-like remodel we've ever done) and then clenches his jaw together while talking to me which lets me know he'd rather have his teeth pulled than deal with another update. We both want our house to be sustainable for years, but neither of us has the energy anymore. "What will it entail?", he asks.

My List:
1. Paint
2. A new sink top
3. Maybe do something with the dingy floor? (not sure) 
Three things. That's it. At most: 1 trip to Lowes.
Time frame: 1 long weekend

(insert all of the experts and the good Lord above laughing in unison.)

We enlisted our son to help take out all of the room's hardware so we could remove the doors.
We had to move the washer/dryer so I could paint.
Easy enough.

What really happened to my ridiculously naive list: 



Clearing out the bathroom/ when we had hope.

1. Remove the sink top and notice the stained wall and soft bottom of the sink cabinet.

2. Remove the top part of the CABINET and realize the hot water pipes have leaked down the wall and into the floorboards.

3. Remove the corroded pipes and realize they haven't been checked since...the year the man was born? Good heavens people, after I saw the connecters, I doubted everything I've ever known that was good in the world.
The actual hot water connection. There's not enough CLR in the land to help this pipe out.

4. Cry. Assess the damage and hit Lowes.

5.  Lowes for paint, primer, pipes, connectors, and a TOTAL SINK. Remember that our existing toilet has a surface crack in the bowl, so we proactively buy a new one. Who has two thumbs and gets excited for a flipping sale on toilets? This girl.

6. Ask the man to remind me to write about the LAST toilet we installed...

7. During the hook up of new pipes, we assess that the people who laid the existing tile did NOT, in fact, tile under the sink. And the floorboards under the sink are slanted. The floor would need to be replaced.

8. Lowes trip # 2 -  Pickup wallboards, new plywood, a faucet for the NEW SINK, and tiling materials; which should be easy right? (insert more tears). Add to the list mortarboard, grout, tiles, de hazer, mud, (oh yeah, they don't have enough of the tile we chose), and a scraper blade to "pop-up" the existing tiles.

9. Replace sink pipes and decided to start chipping up the tiles, since nothing can happen until we have a floor. Use the scraper. And a hammer. And a sledgehammer. 'Seems the people that lived here previously were either reigning tile champions, or have successfully buried bodies in cement, because that stuff would. not. move.

10. Home Depot this time, to rent a hammer drill. I can't express the frustration we possessed trying to tear up that floor. The tiles merely chipped and all of the mortarboards turned to dust. I'm sure I mentioned that we removed the doors right? Enter everything in my home covered in dirt.

11.  Take a day off to contemplate buying a new home. Perhaps one with an outhouse.

12. Home Depot trip #2 to exchange for a LARGER hammer drill that eventually does a satisfactory job.
all hope and happiness is gone

13. We are five days in and the man and I don't know how we ever loved each other. He huffs and puffs when i move and I can't stand the sight of his dusty-a$$ed jeans. Frustration leads to bickering and nothing makes it better until he mentions ice cream. That's right. Frozen dairy reunites us once again. Mint-chocolate-chip-tasting is totally a coping mechanism, right?

14. Day 6: we have to temporarily move the laundry back to the hook-ups because, oh, I don't know... I have spoiled my boys into not making their underclothes last? Hey, there ARE ways.
still hopeless, but smelling April-fresh.


15. Yeah. STEP FIFTEEN! Would you like to see the finished project? Um, so would we. We are at a standstill while the man does his real job and my grandson wants to go shopping. I'd much rather buy fruity pebbles, stuffed raccoons, and various Legos at Target, than trip over one more sample of porcelain tile.

Wish us luck/Pray for our marriage/Pray for our souls.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends, free from DIY projects or HGTV.
-Michele

Don't forget to check out the other amazing bloggers and see what they've come up with!               
They were submitted by:

 Climaxed                                             

Friday, October 25, 2019

Funny Friday October 2019: Hot Sauce!

Funny Friday, October 2019

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.


Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado.


1. Fashion Alert!!! "Hot Pants" are coming back, Spring 2020

2. I've been called a "smart a$$" before, but never a "spicy a$$." Is that a thing?

3. "If you're not wearing your Sriracha pants on Wednesdays, you can't sit with us."

4. Will my "Frank's Hot Sauce" sweater clash with these pants?

5. You think these are cute? Wait till you see my Soy Sauce slippers! (Kikkoman, of course!)

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile!

                    Spatulas on Parade  

Friday, October 11, 2019

Use Your Words October 2019 : I hate tomatoes.


Hey-O friends!
Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  6 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.   

My words are from the very sweet Tamara @ Part-Time Working Hockey Mom  Thanks, Tamara! Those were challenging words, but I loved them!


My words: advocate ~ innate ~ fortify ~ entity ~ toys ~ shrieking

Pattern Story #11 I hate tomatoes.

I'm not talking about the tomatoes that fortify your body with lycopene and potassium (although I'm not crazy about those either.) I'm talking about the little cushions one uses in sewing to hold pins. (View A in the pattern photo below.)
Pattern Property of McCall Pattern Company 2016

When I was in sixth grade, our class participated in various skills units, like wood-shop, cooking, and sewing. There probably were others, but the sewing class definitely sticks in my mind, because I was TERRIBLE at it. I'm not kidding. For our first project, we were taught how to make our very own pin cushion in the shape of yes, a tomato. 

The teacher, Mrs. Hill, carefully showed us each step in creating the project, then held up her own blue ribbon-worthy, perfectly round tomato pin cushion. There may have been oohs and ahhs, I can't recall everything. Finally, we were off to make our own. I thought I followed every direction. I cut, stuffed, and wrapped the fabric and string just like the teacher did in her directions. Looking around the class, I saw other students holding up their red entities with pride. Me? I held up a mess of stuffed, stretched fabric and thread cut into too many pieces. I slowly walked up to Mrs. Hill and watched as she put her hands to her cheeks and shook her head in disgust dismay. 

By now, my classmates were finished shrieking in delight at their creations. They had succeeded with their ripe, perfect, probably-soon-to-be-thrown-in-the-trash-after-class projects and were ready to move on. I was cursing my innate inability to reproduce a fabric, sawdust-filled piece of fake fruit from perfectly given directions.  I must admit, my tomato resembled a red egg. Or, as Mrs. Hill put it, my pin cushion looked "like a flat, pet rock". Thanks for that, "Teach."

Mrs. Hill may not have been her correct name, It's been almost 40 years since I sat in that class. But today, I can close my eyes and see her disappointment in that squishy mess. In the days that followed, while the other children were off on their next projects (probably sewing life-like toys or 17th century costumes; I don't know,) Mrs. Hill, whose job was to be an advocate of both home-made goods and children, (thank goodness!) spent a chunk of her time helping me turn my "pet rock" into a somewhat familiar-looking red orb. Where is it now? I have no idea. Funny what you choose to remember. (and forget.)


I'd like to tell you that as a seamstress or as a teacher who gives directions to little ones that I've overcome the disdain I hold for those tomatoes, but I'd be lying. I've never made one since. My pins are kept in bowls where I can easily grab them. The cushions I've accumulated over the years have been tag-a-longs from eBay sewing-kits, antique stores, or Joann's.  The middle one in the photo above belonged to my husband's grandmother. (Okay, I actually love THAT one.)

So you might ask me, "Why/When/How in the world did you even start to sew after such a disastrous experience? You know the kind, Michele. The experiences where you can still remember small details 40 years later? The kind when you recall a particular failure, you feel the shame of it late at night?"

My only answer is that I learned to master it like anything else in my life. 
Out of spite.
:)

My REAL sewing buddy/pet rock, Tom. Tom-ato. Never forget.

Have a "fruitful" weekend friends,
Michele

Check out the other cool kids playing "Use Your Words" this month!
       Spatulas on Parade
       On the Border
       Climaxed     
       Part-Time Working Hockey Mom    
       

Friday, June 21, 2019

Fly on the Wall June 2019

Welcome to the June Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 5  bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes...


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

A cast of characters:
Me
The Man
Alexandra (daughter)
Christian (oldest son)
J. (the teenager)

At an appointment:
Doc: "I'm going to start you on this new medicine. Warning: It's not cheap."
Me: (looking at the name) "Hey, this is good. My husband makes this! Thankfully, it will be free."
Doc: (worriedly) "Um, what do you mean, 'He makes this?'"
Me: "He works for the company that makes that drug. A perk is that we get those prescriptions free. Why?"
Doc: "Whew. I thought by the way you said that he was making drugs in the basement. I was panicking there for a moment."
Me: "Nah. We only make crack in the basement." (joking, people.)
***

At the eyeglass store:
Kid at the counter: "Do you know Alexandra?"
Me: "Yes, she's my daughter."
Kid at the counter: "It's uncanny. you two look a lot alike."
Me: "We get that a lot"
Kid: (staring closely now) "It's weird...you look just like her except MUCH older."
Me: Thanks. A bunch.
***
We had the grandkids stay overnight:

See that adorable photo of the three of them? See how they look like they're almost asleep? Hahahahahahahaha. No chance.
Me: "Mark! We're so old. I don't remember the kids staying up this late. Are you tired?"
The Man: "I'm exhausted. Doesn't it feel like the longest day? The grands have so much energy."
J. : (rolling his eyes). Guys. It's only 8 o'clock.
***
Roaring Bubbles?
We've been wanting a hot tub for a LONG time. Usually, this is where I'd say. "By we, I mean ME!", but The Man is right there with me on this one. My doctor said we can write off the taxes we pay on it due to my "condition".  Let me tell you this is a first for a positive spin on that excuse! Anywhoo, we had to wait for the right time with money and added electricity, (also, money) but finally the day came and it's here. No joke this time. We can't wait to use it. After another trip to Michigan...
Water (and soul) therapy
***
Going back to the mitten:
I went back home in April to say goodbye to some special people thinking it would be a minute before I'd be back. However, my sweet grandpa Bonney passed on Tuesday morning. It always hurts when family passes, but I count myself as extremely blessed. I'm almost fifty and I had a grandpa this long. I cherish sweet memories of him. He was a hard-working father, grandpa, great-grandpa, and great-great-grandpa. His biggest wish was to join my grandma (his lovely wife) in heaven. I only cry for selfish reasons of not having him here. I know that he is dancing with grandma in heaven; likely with his own mama and papa watching over him.


Wrap your arms around your loved ones, friends.
See you next month.
-Michele



Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Menopausal Mother                     http://www.menopausalmom.com/
Spatulas on Parade                     https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
Bookworm in the Kitchen            https://www.bookwormkitchen.com/