The Cool Kids

Friday, November 15, 2019

Use Your Words: How to test your marriage. part 305

Hey-O friends!
Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  8 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.   

My words are: sustainable ~ various ~ coping mechanism ~ slanted ~ raccoon ~ circus
They were submitted by the very creative Jenniy @               
Oh, friends. If you've read this blog for a long time you know that I like to change things up a bit in my home every now-and-then. If it's something simple like painting or moving furniture, I do it myself. If it's more difficult (ala plumbing, electrical or heavy-lifting,) I ask the man for his assistance. This time, I wanted to update our main bathroom. The room is a bit awkward, as it also houses our laundry.  So, I brought it up to the man.

He's silent for a minute (this is him recalling every circus-like remodel we've ever done) and then clenches his jaw together while talking to me which lets me know he'd rather have his teeth pulled than deal with another update. We both want our house to be sustainable for years, but neither of us has the energy anymore. "What will it entail?", he asks.

My List:
1. Paint
2. A new sink top
3. Maybe do something with the dingy floor? (not sure) 
Three things. That's it. At most: 1 trip to Lowes.
Time frame: 1 long weekend

(insert all of the experts and the good Lord above laughing in unison.)

We enlisted our son to help take out all of the room's hardware so we could remove the doors.
We had to move the washer/dryer so I could paint.
Easy enough.

What really happened to my ridiculously naive list: 

Clearing out the bathroom/ when we had hope.

1. Remove the sink top and notice the stained wall and soft bottom of the sink cabinet.

2. Remove the top part of the CABINET and realize the hot water pipes have leaked down the wall and into the floorboards.

3. Remove the corroded pipes and realize they haven't been checked since...the year the man was born? Good heavens people, after I saw the connecters, I doubted everything I've ever known that was good in the world.
The actual hot water connection. There's not enough CLR in the land to help this pipe out.

4. Cry. Assess the damage and hit Lowes.

5.  Lowes for paint, primer, pipes, connectors, and a TOTAL SINK. Remember that our existing toilet has a surface crack in the bowl, so we proactively buy a new one. Who has two thumbs and gets excited for a flipping sale on toilets? This girl.

6. Ask the man to remind me to write about the LAST toilet we installed...

7. During the hook up of new pipes, we assess that the people who laid the existing tile did NOT, in fact, tile under the sink. And the floorboards under the sink are slanted. The floor would need to be replaced.

8. Lowes trip # 2 -  Pickup wallboards, new plywood, a faucet for the NEW SINK, and tiling materials; which should be easy right? (insert more tears). Add to the list mortarboard, grout, tiles, de hazer, mud, (oh yeah, they don't have enough of the tile we chose), and a scraper blade to "pop-up" the existing tiles.

9. Replace sink pipes and decided to start chipping up the tiles, since nothing can happen until we have a floor. Use the scraper. And a hammer. And a sledgehammer. 'Seems the people that lived here previously were either reigning tile champions, or have successfully buried bodies in cement, because that stuff would. not. move.

10. Home Depot this time, to rent a hammer drill. I can't express the frustration we possessed trying to tear up that floor. The tiles merely chipped and all of the mortarboards turned to dust. I'm sure I mentioned that we removed the doors right? Enter everything in my home covered in dirt.

11.  Take a day off to contemplate buying a new home. Perhaps one with an outhouse.

12. Home Depot trip #2 to exchange for a LARGER hammer drill that eventually does a satisfactory job.
all hope and happiness is gone

13. We are five days in and the man and I don't know how we ever loved each other. He huffs and puffs when i move and I can't stand the sight of his dusty-a$$ed jeans. Frustration leads to bickering and nothing makes it better until he mentions ice cream. That's right. Frozen dairy reunites us once again. Mint-chocolate-chip-tasting is totally a coping mechanism, right?

14. Day 6: we have to temporarily move the laundry back to the hook-ups because, oh, I don't know... I have spoiled my boys into not making their underclothes last? Hey, there ARE ways.
still hopeless, but smelling April-fresh.

15. Yeah. STEP FIFTEEN! Would you like to see the finished project? Um, so would we. We are at a standstill while the man does his real job and my grandson wants to go shopping. I'd much rather buy fruity pebbles, stuffed raccoons, and various Legos at Target, than trip over one more sample of porcelain tile.

Wish us luck/Pray for our marriage/Pray for our souls.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends, free from DIY projects or HGTV.

Don't forget to check out the other amazing bloggers and see what they've come up with!               
They were submitted by:



  1. Only part 305? That seems a little low. :) We definitely bit off more than we could chew this time but hopefully this long weekend project will be done in three. Then we will admire the newly tiled floor and nice sink and forget about all the heartache until the next time we start a project and things don't go quite as planned, wonder why we didn't learn from the last. At least it provides a great way to use your words (although I didn't see dusty a$$ on the list). Thanks for the entertaining story! Love, M

    1. I was rounding down to the nearest 105. Though I love you optomism, I think I'm hanging up my DIY projects for good...Kidding, I'm sure. If you recall, I washed and maybe threw away those dusty a$$ pants. ps. will you make a Lowe's trip for me?

  2. OH-MY-GOOD, I can't cope just *reading* this. I would break down, and surely there is not enough mint chocolate chip ice cream in the world... or is there?

    Here's a little something that'll hopefully make you laugh. Colin shared this from the latest "diary of a wimpy kid" book: Dad took the kids to Home Depot because he wanted to do a project at home, you know how that works. So Greg, the boy, writes: it has been a while since our last visit because back then my baby brother had to pee, and he used the exhibition piece...

    1. Ha! Tamara, I used to read the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books with my tutoring students. I love that little family. I could see Manny peeing in a Lowe's toilet display. Maybe that's why they display the toilets up on a shelf now!! The icecream effect only lasts a small while. We have to choose different flavors as it runs out!

  3. We're talking about getting our house in shape to put on the market and it's stories like this one that terrify me. They better up their production of Mint Chocolate Chip, it's my favorite too.

    1. Thanks, Karen! Your story mirrors ours. I can only hope that future owners of this home realize all of the improvements that have gone on, and not blame us for all of the ice cream stains!! :)

  4. Looks like I picked the right week to stay up at college! I think growing up in our home has taught me to appreciate things as they are, and to never peel back cabinets or the carpet.... I’m confident that you will have everything beautiful soon, you always do! I can’t wait to be home for thanksgiving and to give you guys some constructive criticism on your masonry skills! I love you guys, stay strong!

    1. You certainly are smart to be far away during such a mess. Thanks for commenting on the blog; I can't wait to see your face! Hopefully it will be visible through the construction...btw, you want to buy a house? <3 you!

  5. My comment didn't materialize! Rats. I shall try to re-create...
    I'm truly sorry for your pain, but laughing out loud here. This is sounding like every single project we've ever tackled. (I'm still waiting for him to put on the baseboards from when we installed carpet downstairs 23 years ago...) Maybe on your next trip to Lowes, be sure to buy a boatload of ice cream. Just in case...

    1. Hey Diane! I'm so glad to see you in the comments! I'm starting to thing renovations are more likely to turn out like ours. Does anyone start a project and finish on budget/on time with zero casualties? We have baseboard issues just like you! lol. The man is out as I write this having breakfast and then hitting Lowes. They know us by name I'm sure.

  6. Oh man.. I don’t know if one can truly describe the hopelessness and heartbreak of a never-ending home project until you experience it. Crying in the middle of a half-finished hardwood floor realizing the baseboards are uneven while kids run their dirty hands across the freshly painted wall (putting paint handprints on the dogs)....

    You’ve always put so much time and care into that house. Making it full of love and style. No matter the tears or obstacles, you always end up with and AMAZING end product. While you’re in the eye of the storm now, I know it will end up amazingly. I will bring gallons of chocolate chip ice cream for emotional support next time I see you. You’ve got this, mama! Thanks for always giving us such a wonderful example of persistence and hard work while also giving us the best house to grow up in. I love you!!

    *I type whilst baseboards are gathering dust in a pile in the corner of my house and I convince myself that “tomorrow will be the day”* 😂😂😂

    1. What would we do without the hope of a "tomorrow?" Hey, the dogs may have painted handprints on their fur, the baseboards may be unattached, but your house is full of love and I couldn't be prouder of you. I'm sure Micah is saying, "THAT's where Alex gets it! The love of painting!". Hahaha. Sorry, man. Love you, Alex. Let's get have that ice cream with tacos.

  7. Sorry I didn't get to read this before brkfst this am with the Man. My news aggregator (Feedly) somehow missed it. We might have had a lot more to talk about, altho we really were not at a loss for topics/people. Good luck with the remaining remodeling tasks. I'm sure your marriage will survive them, at least to 505.

    1. Hey, I'm glad you didn't have to discuss the disaster that is our bathroom! Really glad the man had a chance to visit with his parents all to himself. He really enjoys that and that makes me very happy. Until we start on that next dusty project. :) Thanks so much for commenting.

  8. DIY projects are the sincerest test of any relationship! in fact, next time one of my friends asks me what I think about a partner I'm going to get them to do a home project first and tell me how it goes. haha. But no seriously...


    1. This is an excellent idea, Jenniy. There should be a show for people who want to get married. They'll have to renovate a bathroom and build ten pieces of Ikea furniture first. Let's see that marriage census number go waaaay down.

  9. OMG I laughed until I cried. That's hilarious and exactly the way it would go in our house except my husband would do something stupid like superglue the sink to the washing machine or something equally as dumb! (Rena)

    1. I have to tell you how heartening it is to know other couples go through this stuff. No super glue here, but I bet my husband would liked to glue my mouth shut a time or two. :)


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