Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts

Friday, June 12, 2020

UYW June 2020: It's NOT Mac N" Cheese


Hey-O friends!
Today's post is a writing challenge created by Karen@Baking In A Tornado. 10 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until, today.  

My words are: control, grass, medical, rebate, furious

They were submitted by Karen@ Baking In A Tornado Thank you, my friend!


*** 
I've never been the kind of person who likes to shop just for the sake of "shopping." All of the people, all of the choices...it makes my anxiety go through the roof just thinking about it.

The introvert in me appreciates the conveniences and solitude of online shopping. This has never been more true than in these past few months with the Covid Pandemic. Some online stores deliver within a few days, some even take coupons and rebates. Others can come to your car and drop off stuff in your trunk! It's borderline magical. We've been able to buy our groceries, clothing, medical supplies, and many other things without crowds or time limits.  Hey, online in April, we even bought a new bed!Who knew shopping could be that easy?

My favorite thing about online shopping though, has been the ability to keep my Grams (age 90), who lives back in Michigan, well fed, adorably dressed, and hopefully needing for nothing more than company. She'll always call and update me with the food that she made from her Amazon pantry boxes, or about the conversations she has with the delivery people that are kind enough to put her boxes safely on an indoor porch. 
***
I was returning to my house from a doctor's appointment when I saw that I had 2 voicemails. One was from my brother, Charley (who also lives in Michigan) and the other was from Grams. 

Charley: "Hey Shell, Grams called me because she got some large boxes and can't bring them in the house. She's worried because the delivery people left them outside on the grass. It's raining here and she needs my help. Just wanted you to know that's what's up."

I text Charley: "No worries. I was trying to surprise her with that Mac N' Cheese she loves. I bought a 24 pack. It's probably awkward to lift. Thx so much for taking care of it. Wear your mask!"

Then I listen to my Gram's voicemail:
Grams: "Shelly, some boxes came and they're really big. It's starting to rain. Charley is going to try to help me...Did you buy me a new piano or something?...Call me, this is Grams." (She always tells me who she is at the end of her messages.)

That's weird, I thought. I was starting to call Grams back when a text came in from Charley.
Charley: "Um, it's NOT Mac N' Cheese."




When I saw the photo, my heart fell into my stomach. I knew exactly what was in those boxes. I could NOT believe it.

I must have accidentally sent my Grams the new bed I ordered for our home!

To Michigan, Not Utah. 

You know, in all these years, I could have mistakenly sent her a yoga mat or some pop-tarts, but no. It had to be three boxes of an assemble-yourself bed! 

It was completely my fault. I had sent Grandma something from this same online retailer before. When I ordered the bed for me, I must have seen her address and never thought twice about it. Grams had no control over what to do with the bed, so my brother brought it to his house until we could straighten everything out. I was beyond furious with myself. I told my husband that we'd just keep the same bed we've had for 20 years and I'd give this new one to Charley or Grams. But, truthfully, it was never going to fit in Gram's cute house and it definitely wasn't a style my brother would embrace. It's a green four poster. Yep, green.

So we returned it back to the retailer. When they credited our account, my husband said to order another one if I really loved it and he'd stand OVER me while I bought it, but they didn't have another green bed. I tried again a few days later and guess what? They did have one! (pretty certain it was the one I returned). After three weeks of back and forth, with me holding my head as low as it could go, that bed finally arrived at my house.

"You sure you want to go with green?" asked the man, while unpacking the boxes.
"Are you kidding me?THIS is the last green bed we are ever buying! Ever!" I say.

Or, you know, until one of the kids needs a bed.


BTW, my Grams laughed at the whole thing and asked when her Mac'N Cheese would arrive. 
"Sooner than my bed, Grams."



Have a restful weekend, friends!
Love, Michele

Check out the posts from this month's participating bloggers!
             Baking In A Tornado
             Spatulas on Parade
             Wandering Web Designer
             On the Border
             Sparkly Poetic Weirdo/        
             Part-Time Working Hockey Mom   


Friday, November 15, 2019

Use Your Words: How to test your marriage. part 305





Hey-O friends!
Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado.  8 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to use in a post. All words must be used at least once. All posts will be different as each writer has received their own original set of words. No blogger knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until today.   

My words are: sustainable ~ various ~ coping mechanism ~ slanted ~ raccoon ~ circus
They were submitted by the very creative Jenniy @
https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com               
                     
Oh, friends. If you've read this blog for a long time you know that I like to change things up a bit in my home every now-and-then. If it's something simple like painting or moving furniture, I do it myself. If it's more difficult (ala plumbing, electrical or heavy-lifting,) I ask the man for his assistance. This time, I wanted to update our main bathroom. The room is a bit awkward, as it also houses our laundry.  So, I brought it up to the man.

He's silent for a minute (this is him recalling every circus-like remodel we've ever done) and then clenches his jaw together while talking to me which lets me know he'd rather have his teeth pulled than deal with another update. We both want our house to be sustainable for years, but neither of us has the energy anymore. "What will it entail?", he asks.

My List:
1. Paint
2. A new sink top
3. Maybe do something with the dingy floor? (not sure) 
Three things. That's it. At most: 1 trip to Lowes.
Time frame: 1 long weekend

(insert all of the experts and the good Lord above laughing in unison.)

We enlisted our son to help take out all of the room's hardware so we could remove the doors.
We had to move the washer/dryer so I could paint.
Easy enough.

What really happened to my ridiculously naive list: 



Clearing out the bathroom/ when we had hope.

1. Remove the sink top and notice the stained wall and soft bottom of the sink cabinet.

2. Remove the top part of the CABINET and realize the hot water pipes have leaked down the wall and into the floorboards.

3. Remove the corroded pipes and realize they haven't been checked since...the year the man was born? Good heavens people, after I saw the connecters, I doubted everything I've ever known that was good in the world.
The actual hot water connection. There's not enough CLR in the land to help this pipe out.

4. Cry. Assess the damage and hit Lowes.

5.  Lowes for paint, primer, pipes, connectors, and a TOTAL SINK. Remember that our existing toilet has a surface crack in the bowl, so we proactively buy a new one. Who has two thumbs and gets excited for a flipping sale on toilets? This girl.

6. Ask the man to remind me to write about the LAST toilet we installed...

7. During the hook up of new pipes, we assess that the people who laid the existing tile did NOT, in fact, tile under the sink. And the floorboards under the sink are slanted. The floor would need to be replaced.

8. Lowes trip # 2 -  Pickup wallboards, new plywood, a faucet for the NEW SINK, and tiling materials; which should be easy right? (insert more tears). Add to the list mortarboard, grout, tiles, de hazer, mud, (oh yeah, they don't have enough of the tile we chose), and a scraper blade to "pop-up" the existing tiles.

9. Replace sink pipes and decided to start chipping up the tiles, since nothing can happen until we have a floor. Use the scraper. And a hammer. And a sledgehammer. 'Seems the people that lived here previously were either reigning tile champions, or have successfully buried bodies in cement, because that stuff would. not. move.

10. Home Depot this time, to rent a hammer drill. I can't express the frustration we possessed trying to tear up that floor. The tiles merely chipped and all of the mortarboards turned to dust. I'm sure I mentioned that we removed the doors right? Enter everything in my home covered in dirt.

11.  Take a day off to contemplate buying a new home. Perhaps one with an outhouse.

12. Home Depot trip #2 to exchange for a LARGER hammer drill that eventually does a satisfactory job.
all hope and happiness is gone

13. We are five days in and the man and I don't know how we ever loved each other. He huffs and puffs when i move and I can't stand the sight of his dusty-a$$ed jeans. Frustration leads to bickering and nothing makes it better until he mentions ice cream. That's right. Frozen dairy reunites us once again. Mint-chocolate-chip-tasting is totally a coping mechanism, right?

14. Day 6: we have to temporarily move the laundry back to the hook-ups because, oh, I don't know... I have spoiled my boys into not making their underclothes last? Hey, there ARE ways.
still hopeless, but smelling April-fresh.


15. Yeah. STEP FIFTEEN! Would you like to see the finished project? Um, so would we. We are at a standstill while the man does his real job and my grandson wants to go shopping. I'd much rather buy fruity pebbles, stuffed raccoons, and various Legos at Target, than trip over one more sample of porcelain tile.

Wish us luck/Pray for our marriage/Pray for our souls.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends, free from DIY projects or HGTV.
-Michele

Don't forget to check out the other amazing bloggers and see what they've come up with!               
They were submitted by:

 Climaxed                                             

Friday, February 15, 2019

Fly On The Wall, February 2019: Say My Name


Welcome to the February Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 5 brave bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes...



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

***

Since I've missed oh, 36 months of this challenge I wanted to think a bit more broadly. During my absence, A fly on the wall would have heard me get called a lot of names around my house (I'll leave that up to your imagination.)  I thought I'd share a few of my favorites:

World's Best Mom: You think I'm kidding, right?  I really do get called this by my children! I mean, it's only when they need something, but still...

Any of my children: "Would you mind babysitting/ paying for my project/ buying me a new jersey/ making me a costume/ providing this last minute ride, treats, school supplies, organ donation...etc?" 
If I say no, I might get called a different name, but I digress. If I say yes, I get a "Thanks!" and get called, "World's Best Mom". 
My response: "Well, if I am, where is my trophy?"  
It's usually followed by a chuckle. Or a "Sure mom, whatever. But you're still doing that thing for me, right?"
One day last year the UPS driver delivered this. I'm keeping it forever. (as proof). I only cried for three days months straight after receiving it. Now, if I can only figure out a way to stick it on a "Hello My Name is..." tag. I'd wear it everywhere. BTW, When I thanked the child who sent it? They told me to call them, "My favorite child".  Nothing is free, people.
I'm supposed to keep this by my front door and show EVERYBODY, right?

***
Dork: Ugh. I hate that word. I always have. Knowing this, my best friend decided all on her own that "Dork" would be my name. I affectionately call her "Loser," so I guess it all evens out. We often drop off things for each other in our mailboxes: Borrowed books, jewelry, treats or ransom notes. They're always labeled, "Dork" or "Loser."  One day  I get a mailbox emoji on my phone, and I know what that means; Loser has left me something. I finish what I'm doing and run out to open the mailbox. All that's inside is a mailer with coupons. When I call "Loser" up to ask what she meant by the emoji, she tells me she left a plate of my favorite Amish cookies for me with a note: "Hey Dork, don't eat these all at once. Love Ya!"  Yep. The mailman beat me (very legally, I know.) to the mailbox. He took the cookies. And now I know two things. (besides the fact that I missed out on cookies) My mailman thinks I think he's a dork, and apparently, I now love him! Awesome.

***
Gramma Shel: Yes, dear friends, I'm a Grandma! Last May, Alex and Micah (my daughter and her husband) adopted two perfect (my correct opinion) boys.  "A." is six and "S." is four. Did I mention they're perfect? If I taught in Elementary Education for all of those years only to collect counting bears and a million books, it was worth it just to entertain and play with these babies. Mark and I are in love with them and the best part? We can give "A." and "S." anything they want and still send them home at the end of the day.
The man and I have it made. "A." likes technology, and "S." likes reading...novels?

***
Michael: How hard is it to pronounce my name? I've mentioned this before. My name is Michele. Only one "l". Yet telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen still ask for "Michael". 
"Is Mark or Michael there?" they ask. 
"No, they're out on a lovely walk right now," I say.
"Who am I speaking to?" they continue.
"This is Michele."
"OK," they say. "Could you have Mark or Michael call/get back to us when they get home?"
"Sure thing, Jellybean." No complaints from me.

***
My first wife: My regular readers know this is what the man calls me. OK, truth be told, the exact words he uses aren't printable. But you get the gist. I get an idea about home improvement, he says we should call a professional. I say we will have fun doing it ourselves and he asks, "Who's WE?" 


Wife #2 is going to like everything just the way I made it, right?


Whatever name you go by, Have a Happy Friday, Friends!
-Michele
Please check out this month's participants:



Friday, July 24, 2015

Fly on the Wall: July 2015

Hello, Friends!  Welcome to the July Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 12 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!


Cast:
Me
The man
Alex, the eldest 
Micah, Alex's husband 
C., The middle (son, 17)
J., The youngest (son, 10)

The fly on the wall would have to be using his eyes a lot around here. We spend most of our days keeping in contact with our family via texts. It's not ideal, but it's the way things are for us right now. Still, I'm glad for the phones that keep us in reach. Here are a few of this month's favorite texts. I'm always touched that my family can keep the sarcasm alive, even when we're not in the same house.
***

Alex: So. I'm being asked for thirtieth time if you're ever going back to "work".  Am I supposed to go with the same response?
Me: Which is?
Alex: That you're perfectly happy spending your days collecting drug money and making our father work his fingers to the bone?
Me: I don't know. Collecting drug money sounds like I'm contributing. But I guess I'm still good with that.
***
C.: Mom. Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie? My long lost son, is that you?
C.: Wrong answer. If you would have said that it was me, I would be bringing this home:
Me: Ask me again! 
C.: Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie, is that you?
"C. has left the conversation."
***
Alex: (getting her new classroom ready) Should I write my first name inside all of the books I bought? Or my last name? My phone number? What did you write inside yours?
Me: "I wrote: Don't steal this book or I will find you. You will think you got away with it, but one dark night, I WILL find you, and make you give this book back to me."
Alex: So you weren't beloved. Everyone was just terrified of you?
Me: Pretty much.
***

Alex: Holy hot, mom! It's 102 degrees. How are we supposed to function in this heat?
Me: Take a lesson from your family...
***
Me: So. This is what happens when I'm doing laundry and trip over the crate my husband left out this morning.
Mark: You know that you're texting your husband, right?
Me: Am I?
Mark: Ouch!
ME: Really? That's all you have to say?
Mark: Um, at least you can hop around on your good foot to put the laundry away?
Two Hours later.
Mark: Hello? Is it safe to come home?
***
Random texts that don't get a response:
These are texts that are either rhetorical or meant to cause a blood pressure spike.
Alex to Me:"Should I get a perm?"
Mark to me:"By WHOLE GRAIN, do you mean the soft, white Wonderbread? That's what I think you mean."
Mark to me: "Do you mind if the new fridge sticks out about six inches into the hallway?"
C. to Me:"Whatever you do, don't go in my room!"
Alex to me:"Is it bad to wear tights in July?"
C. to Me: "If I'm not back by dawn, delete my internet history."
Me to Alex: "A family Taco cart. Don't say no. Just think about it."
Me to C.: "I'm starting to wonder if the moon landing really WAS staged..."
C. does NOT kid around when it comes to Space, so I must do that for him.
***

We had a plumber working here for hours trying to hook up a water softener. Our house was not fitted for one, and of course, everything had to be brought up to code. Ugh...
I was downstairs working in my shop which is next to the utility room.
Me: (texting Mark, who was upstairs) Hey. The plumber just came in and asked what I do in here. I showed him the shop and gave him my card.
Mark: Did you invite him to dinner? We're paying him a ton of money. By the hour.
Me: So. I shouldn't have given him a discount code?
Mark: Did he give you a discount code?

Finally:
Group Text:

Alex: I just spent the whole day lesson-planning. I still have two papers to write :(
C.: I just found out I have to close all weekend.
Alex: Thanks for making us responsible people, mom and dad.
C.: Yeah, thanks. We should be out partying with our friends.
Mark:
"Alex has left the conversation."
"C. has left the conversation."

Fly over and say, "Hey!" to this month's fly participants!




Happy "Love your family, wherever they are", friends!
-Michele            

Friday, May 22, 2015

Fly on the Wall: May 2015

Hello, Friends!  Welcome to the May Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 16 amazing bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!


Cast:
Me
The man
Alexandra, the eldest 
Micah, Alex's husband 
C., The middle (son, 17)
J., The youngest (son, 10)

Questioning our eating habits:
The man and J. have a weekly donut date...
***
We offered to meet up one weeknight with our daughter and her husband for dinner. I was thinking of eating at a steakhouse or somewhere along those lines. The kids had other ideas. Every one wanted to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Really? Really. The downside of this was that I wasn't able to visit with any of the kids. They were too busy getting up and down, while eating all 16 possible courses the buffet offered. The upside was listening to the kids for the two days up until that dinner. They were texting and reminding each other to wear elastic pants and to not eat breakfast or lunch so they could fill up. It was much like preparing for a big event, except that they were preparing to eat three days worth of food in one sitting. It was, in their words, a "big success".
***
These were my actual Mother's Day cards from the kids. No vegetables or fruit, unless you count the flavors...
Look closely. The kids made all of that by hand!

Questioning our down-time:
I can't tell you exactly how many days it has rained this month (too many!) or what we have left in the fridge. I CAN tell you though, that my son introduced me to Netflix. I didn't want to go down that rabbit hole, but I did. I also can tell you anything you'd like to know about the 8 seasons of "Scrubs" or the first three seasons of "Chuck." I need help.
***
Remember the rule, "No animals on the sofas?" This is how you get around that.
Lucy balances on the man's hip.

Random Family Quotes:

"I'm at the game and there is a lull, but the lady in front of me (on her iPad) is on Tinder, so there's that."

"I'm sitting in a classroom and I kid you not. The teacher said the Sun is a planet."

"I was on Reddit and read about these crazy guys who eat oranges in the shower. I thought it was a little weird. (pauses for my reaction) I'm telling you in case you're wondering why my bathroom smells like citrus."

"Can fried dill pickles be considered a low-residue food if I chew them up really well?"

"I hate driving your car, Michele. I feel like I'm riding in a clown car. I took it early this morning and put gas in it for you. I felt ridiculous."

My friend texts me later : "Hey, I was on my way to work this morning and I saw Mark driving your car. His head was bent sideways. Tell him to put the top down before he breaks his neck."

Questioning where the time is going:
May really has been a crazy-busy month.

J. worked hard to get his 4th grade "Phd".


C. went to prom and will be a High School Senior tomorrow. No, he's not a vampire. My flash was on!


Alexandra is now a college graduate! She received her B.S. in Elementary Education.

3 words left for this crew: Bring on Summer!

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to!

Baking in a Tornado                          
Spatulas on Parade                          
Follow me home                          
Menopausal Mother                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                        
Battered Hope                                   
Just a Little Nutty                                  
The Momisodes                                        
Someone Else's Genius                            
Disneyland in Kentucky                               
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                  
Juicebox Confession                            
Eileen's Perpetually Busy                    
Searching for Sanity                        
Southern Belle Charm                           
Sanity Waiting to Happen