Setting: The craft room. It's the weekend before my birthday. I have disassembled one of two closets and junk is strewn everywhere...The man, trying not to look worried, peeks in.
The man: Wow. What's going on in here? (He's asking in that, "I'm being nice, I don't really want to know." kind of voice.)
Me: Hey, Mr. Man. I think I'd like to paint this weekend and I need your help.....
The man: Really? What in this house is left to paint?
Me: Very funny. I'd like to paint the closet with some leftover paint, and I need your help with..
The man: But..It... is a CLOSET. (He says this to me as if I'd look at him, realize that it IS indeed a closet and change my mind..) Why do you want to paint it?
Me: Because it's a complete disaster, and I'd like to make it an office.
The man: An office....Inside your craft room...
Me: Yes. That's what I said...and I'd like to paint stripes in there..
The man: (looking into the shell-of-a-closet, he shakes his head because apparently, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of.) I still don't understand why, you know, with it being a closet and all...
Me: You know what? Never mind. I was going to use the "It's my birthday; could you please help me?" excuse...but I'm not asking you anything. I don't need your help..I don't want your help. Please. Just go.
Looking a little (okay, very) relieved, the man starts to walk away. He's slowly walking up the stairs...I start to follow him.
Me: Guess what? I am perfectly capable. I can do this myself! I can!... But....
He looks back at me as if I fell over and cracked my head open at that very moment, he might pause a minute or two before calling 911.
Me: If one were to "hypothetically" paint a room...and say, if the wall is 38 inches, and the other is 44 inches, how might one measure the tape out for even stripes?
Oh. He ALMOST got away. So close...I can literally see his jaw start to tighten.
He again starts shaking his head at me because he knows I will make a spatial mess of things if I take charge of that blue painters' tape, and if THAT happens, I may need to REPAINT...and if I buy NEW paint, I might as well repaint the whole room.... So with that "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" realization, he asks softly, "Do you have a ruler?"
Me: (Taking advantage of the short window of opportunity) Yes. Yes! But.. do we really need one?
The man: (hoping his next wife will love stark white walls) Yes, Michele. Yes "we" do.
Thank goodness for beautiful leftover paint in the garage. Thank goodness for the sparkles I bought at Lowe's to put into the paint. Thank goodness for the man who helped his FIRST wife measure out stripes for a tiny closet no one will ever see.....except for me.
And the man who knows his paint-addicted wife is as close to giddy as anyone can be over a 12 square foot sparkly
This is the closet in the craft room. It was supposed to stay like this...
But it eventually turned into this...
Go ahead. Shake your head. It's a mess...Tsk. Tsk.
Post closet, Pre-office
Gold and pink paint..
With sparkles? Yes.. They really work!
Look at that tape! It's the cutest little room and it is junk-free.
Because I was so embarrassingly excited about the even stripes AND sparkle-paint, the man found the perfect gift for my birthday.
I think I'm in love..
Now, what to do about that carpet?
Happy Weekend, friends :)