The Cool Kids

Friday, March 15, 2019

Use Your Words March 2019 Ouch!


Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A TornadoThis is how it works: 10 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge! Oh, and no one participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:
peanut butter, stool, shoes, polyester, donuts

They were submitted by the lovely Rena @https://theblogging911.com/blog

Among the plethora of auto-immune issues I've been blessed with, about 3 years ago, my doctors added "Ulcerative Colitis" to the pile. Since my teenage years, I'd always had "belly problems," but I thought every worried-kid who was trying to get through life was dealing with the same issues.  I've taken many prescription meds since then. I've also tried over-the-counter meds, gluten-free diets, dairy-free diets, no food diets, cleanses, crying on cold bathroom floors; everything I could think 0f, but nothing helped.

After lots of blood tests and a colonoscopy, my medical team decided it was time to try Humira. If you've turned on the radio or television in the last few years for even 30 minutes, you know what Humira is. It started out as a Crohn's, UC, and Psoriasis treatment. Now apparently, it treats everything but splinters. (kind of joking). Despite the MANY side effects of the drug, I figured I had nothing to lose besides severe belly problems. You thought I was going to use the word "stool"somewhere in here, didn't you? Nope. TMI. 

The main problem of this medicine for me? Humira is an injection. Needles and I have never gotten along well, so I was pretty terrified. Another downside? The starter pack begins with FOUR (!) injections to, wait for it: the belly.

Here is the story of how the man and I dealt with that first dose. 



First dose: 4 injections. Seven days later: 2 injections. One injection every week after.

*

Day One (What observers saw)
(People looking out from the hospital window, probably.)

Person 1: "OMG! Look at that poor man lying on the ground!"

Person 2: "Why is that woman not helping him?"

Person 3: " Why is that woman KICKING him?"

Person 4: "If I didn't have this IV, I'd call 911!"

Person 3:    "I'll do it!"
*

An hour earlier on the ride to the doctor.
Me: "Thanks for taking me to this. How can I be scared to death AND starving at the same time? I hope this spoonful of peanut butter will be enough.  I don't want to have a full stomach until it's over."

The Man: "No worries, you're going to be great. When it's done, I'll take you for donuts."

Me: "Haha! What am I, three years old? If I'm well behaved, I get a treat?"

The man: "Well, we don't have to..."

Me: "Shush. I want donuts."

*
In the office, I lift my polyester shirt and get ready for the pain. The very calm doctor rolls over close to me on her stool.
The Doctor: "Sit back and get comfortable. Take your shoes off if you'd like. You're going to be fine. It burns like a bee-sting, but just for a bit. I'll do three and you'll try the last one." (I got scared and messed it up, so the doctor decided to do the last one with the man. She wanted him to see how it's done, in case I couldn't stab myself.) "Your husband sure is supportive!"

Me: "He really is. But, I have to tell you- he doesn't love needles. I don't like them because I bleed all over or somebody can't find a vein. When he sees needles, he tends to get dizzy and faint.

The Doctor: "How do you know that?"

Me: "This isn't our first rodeo, Doc."(This wasn't even the first time I said, 'This isn't our first rodeo.' to a doctor.)

The Doctor: "Aw, maybe he just doesn't like seeing you get hurt".

Me: "Yeah, maybe..."

The man ends up learning how to do the injection and carefully stabs me. (my words.)

*
Leaving the office, the man grabs his keys and proudly declares he's fine.
The man: "How are you doing?"

Me: "I'm kind of sore but I think I was more nervous than I was in pain. How are you? Listen, I really appreciate you driving me home. I don't know how I would have done this without..."

Me: (after a thud) "OMG! Are you kidding me? I can't bend over!!"
*

Me, trying to roll the man so I can grab his keys. I'm pushing him over with my leg because I can not bend over due to the (not sure if I have mentioned this,)  FOUR SHOTS to MY BELLY!

*

Finally, ME driving the sweet man home, still semi-happy that he went with me. Happier still, that I didn't get arrested for domestic abuse. Happiest because, despite any pain, I'm ALWAYS capable of getting my own donuts.
The man: "You're going to eat those donuts without me, aren't you?"

Me: "I bet your stomach is pretty sore, so yes. Yes, I am."

*
We figure I've had at least 160 of these babies. Ridiculously grateful for health insurance.

Happy "Hug-Your-Biggest-Cheerleader" day, friends.

-Michele

Go visit the other cool kids participating in this month's Use Your Words Challenge:
 On The Border      
 Climaxed   


20 comments:

  1. I was cringing through my own memories as I read through this. Having been through in-vitro I went through both injecting myself in the stomach and having Hubs also having to inject other meds in my hips (which I was allergic to so the area was hot and red and angry but we had to continue).
    I wasn't laughing also though at how you told the story (lie, I was). Most of all though, I SO hope this helps you. XO

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    1. You understand better than most, Karen. I've heard how painful in-vitro can be. You are a trooper. The humira has worked well on both the Ulcerative Colitis and on the AS (spinal arthritis). I've been incredibly fortunate. The flares are fewer and farther between. <3

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  2. And this, my friend, is why us ladies have to take care of this giving birth to babies business...
    Did the treatments help? And more importantly: what donuts did you get?

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    1. The treatments have helped immensely, Tamara. More important, those donuts were Boston Creams(Chocolate covered donuts with custard inside), and strawberry frosted glazed. They were delicious!

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  3. Ah, the memories. How long were we in that doctor's office that day? It had to be close to two hours and I think I did fine for the first hour and fifty minutes. It was hard to see you in discomfort but you did a great job and continue to every week on that special day. Great writing and excellent work on the pictures, all very entertaining! Love, M

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    1. Too Long, my man. You lasted much longer than I thought. What makes the weekly tradition better? WIne or donuts? It's hard to tell. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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  4. Your man and mine must be brothers because he has passed out so many damn times! I have the same immune alphabet issues and I've tried Humira, but it didn't work for me but now I'm doing Rituxin infusions and they are working good. Two six hour treatments every six months. Not bad and yes thank God for health insurance!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. So glad to know other people who understand the spectrum that is autoimmune disorders. Sorry the Humira didn't work out for you. I've done my share of "okay, let's try this" things. I think my next step is Remicade, but I'm praying this one will last for me. Hope the same happens for you. <3

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  5. So very thankful that giving shots to Mike is the one thing I've not had to do yet. Shudder and goosebumps thinking of it. Glad Humira is helping!

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    1. You know, I joked about this whole situation, but I completely agree. If the roles were reversed, I would hate to have to give shots to my husband or children. Thanks so much for reminding me about that. <3

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  6. First of all, the pictures on this blog post are EVERYTHING. Secondly, I feel very sad to say I've definitely got dad's queasiness gene. :( You are so tough! Really though- dealing with weekly shots, writing AMAZING BLOG POSTS, raising three awesome kids, helping out (SO MUCH) with your amazing grandkids? Seriously, you're a hero. I'm thinking you need to have at least three more trophies coming your way. ;) We love you so much! Thanks for being so brave and sharing your stories and fantastic gift of writing with us. Keep the posts coming! :)

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    1. You rock to the ground, Alexandra. Look at all those (true) compliments! LOL. I love you and raising all of you(with only one trophy) has been my complete honor. Thanks for visiting the blog! Love you!

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  7. i Always thought Mark Fainting was a joke you guys talked about! Laughing so hard at this but definitely not at him;) - Micah

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    1. Micah, we NEVER joke about untrue things!!! HAHA! You can totally laugh at your father-in-law. That's what we're here for. Love you!

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  8. Oh man!
    As much as I hate the thought of you going through this, this story gave me quite a chuckle!
    I'm so glad to read the meds are helping. My oldest has had "tummy troubles" for a number of years but changing her diet has helped enough to not have to do meds....yet!

    I swear, you can take any topic and make me laugh!

    Love that you are back writing, ff! Truly.
    Love you!!!

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    Replies

    1. Thank you NicNak! How awful would life be if we couldn't laugh straight in its face? I hope your oldest's troubles stay far away. I love you for checking in on me and this silly blog. FFs are the best. <3

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  9. Every little bit makes me love you and The Man more. So sorry you have to go through all that... you are a goddess!

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    1. Thank you, my friend. You are too sweet. The man says "thank you" too. We are all hanging in there <3

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  10. Oh, the torturer who invented the needle must be laughing so hard right now.
    I hate him.

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    Replies
    1. I will find him one day, Diane. Perhaps in the afterlife. I'll give him a piece of my mind, though I'm sure the line to speak with him will be long.

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