Each Sunday at about six o'clock, I start banging stuff around. I begin stepping over the weekend's accumulated junk and continue panicking about the all the things we need to do and asking aloud, "What if someone suddenly stops by to visit? What will they think?"
Sometimes the family remembers this and starts straightening up the house.
Okay, not really. They actually look surprised EVERY Sunday as I start the "Who made this mess?/Whose shoes are these?/ Who dumped Chex mix in the living room? Where is everyone?" rant. Eventually, everyone comes huffing and puffing, grabbing and throwing, until our house is a collection of grouchiness and wishing at that moment, we each lived ANYWHERE else.
They (my family) all know what the base of the problem is. It is NOT their stuff lying all over the house. It's not the piles of books, shoes, soda cans or paper plates that are upsetting them. It is, in fact, the crazy-lady who has suddenly noticed a room looking like a tornado passed through it. Where did this woman with the waving arms and voice with an unrecognizable octave come from? What happened to our dear mother who picks up after us every other day of the week? Same story. Any given Sunday evening...
It was about five o'clock THIS week when I rounded the corner and saw the man with the vacuum. What? It was out and so was a Magic eraser. My first thought was, "Okay what did he spill?" My second thought was, "What did he spill?" Yeah, same thought. I'm loving like that.
The man was carrying Q-tips, tooth picks and Lysol wipes and I have never been more turned on in my life. What was he doing? Did he notice all the crumbs in the coffee table too? Was he setting up some system to get the filthy fingerprints off the wall?
Nope.
Wait for it.
Next to the Q-tips were these.
Yep. My first husband found it necessary to remove, clean and replace every single key on a keyboard.
Welcome to my world.
Just look at that attention to detail. Excuse the blurriness of my pictures. I was literally shaking.
Feel free to visit my house on Sundays, friends. You may be appalled at the cluttered living room. You might look past newspapers strewn in the hall or back packs lined up the stairs. There could be a chance you won't break your ankles tripping over LEGOS or cell phone chargers.. Just make sure you're wearing sunglasses. Because your eyes might wander far enough. They may just scan across two rooms and possibly make contact with our computer keyboard. (Under the desk.) You will immediately recognize it. It will be the only thing that is blindingly clean and NOT covered in Chex mix.
Priorities, people.
Happy "Take-what-you-can-get" day, friends.
