Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!
Cast:
Me
The man
Alex, the eldest
Micah, Alex's husband
C., The middle (son, 17)
J., The youngest (son, 10)
The fly on the wall would have to be using his eyes a lot around here. We spend most of our days keeping in contact with our family via texts. It's not ideal, but it's the way things are for us right now. Still, I'm glad for the phones that keep us in reach. Here are a few of this month's favorite texts. I'm always touched that my family can keep the sarcasm alive, even when we're not in the same house.
***
Alex: So. I'm being asked for thirtieth time if you're ever going back to "work". Am I supposed to go with the same response?
Me: Which is?
Alex: That you're perfectly happy spending your days collecting drug money and making our father work his fingers to the bone?
Me: I don't know. Collecting drug money sounds like I'm contributing. But I guess I'm still good with that.
***
C.: Mom. Who is your favorite child?Me: Robbie? My long lost son, is that you?
C.: Wrong answer. If you would have said that it was me, I would be bringing this home:
Me: Ask me again!
C.: Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie, is that you?
"C. has left the conversation."
***
Alex: (getting her new classroom ready) Should I write my first name inside all of the books I bought? Or my last name? My phone number? What did you write inside yours?
Me: "I wrote: Don't steal this book or I will find you. You will think you got away with it, but one dark night, I WILL find you, and make you give this book back to me."
Alex: So you weren't beloved. Everyone was just terrified of you?
Me: Pretty much.
***
Alex: Holy hot, mom! It's 102 degrees. How are we supposed to function in this heat?
Me: Take a lesson from your family...
***
Me: So. This is what happens when I'm doing laundry and trip over the crate my husband left out this morning.
Mark: You know that you're texting your husband, right?
Me: Am I?
Mark: Ouch!
ME: Really? That's all you have to say?
Mark: Um, at least you can hop around on your good foot to put the laundry away?
Two Hours later.
Mark: Hello? Is it safe to come home?
***
Random texts that don't get a response:
These are texts that are either rhetorical or meant to cause a blood pressure spike.
Alex to Me:"Should I get a perm?"
Mark to me:"By WHOLE GRAIN, do you mean the soft, white Wonderbread? That's what I think you mean."
Mark to me: "Do you mind if the new fridge sticks out about six inches into the hallway?"
C. to Me:"Whatever you do, don't go in my room!"
Alex to me:"Is it bad to wear tights in July?"
C. to Me: "If I'm not back by dawn, delete my internet history."
Me to Alex: "A family Taco cart. Don't say no. Just think about it."
Me to C.: "I'm starting to wonder if the moon landing really WAS staged..."
C. does NOT kid around when it comes to Space, so I must do that for him.
***
We had a plumber working here for hours trying to hook up a water softener. Our house was not fitted for one, and of course, everything had to be brought up to code. Ugh...
I was downstairs working in my shop which is next to the utility room.
Me: (texting Mark, who was upstairs) Hey. The plumber just came in and asked what I do in here. I showed him the shop and gave him my card.
Mark: Did you invite him to dinner? We're paying him a ton of money. By the hour.
Me: So. I shouldn't have given him a discount code?
Mark: Did he give you a discount code?
Finally:
Group Text:
Alex: I just spent the whole day lesson-planning. I still have two papers to write :(
C.: I just found out I have to close all weekend.
Alex: Thanks for making us responsible people, mom and dad.
C.: Yeah, thanks. We should be out partying with our friends.
Mark:
"Alex has left the conversation."
"C. has left the conversation."
Fly over and say, "Hey!" to this month's fly participants!
Happy "Love your family, wherever they are", friends!
-Michele
