I thought it would be brilliantly helpful (economically, healthy, emotionally, creatively) if I stopped taking my prescribed medications. I'm not talking about slowly weaning off of them. I'm not talking about taking away one med each day. Nope, I was going to be the strong woman I felt I could be and I stopped. Cold Turkey. The man begged me not to. But he's a "Big Pharma" guy; of course he'd say that. My pharmacist bestie said that it was not a smart thing to do. I figured I was helping her out by not having to fill all those scripts! My daughter begged me not to. All I kept thinking was that I could be that mom who was strong enough without all of the medicines that were clouding up who I really was. I couldn't even remember who I was. I wasn't sure if I even missed her or not. I have an online buddy who also told me to take everything slowly; to make sure I was talking with my doctor before making such a decision. I could talk to the moon and back about who or why I was doing this. The simple and selfish answer? It was for me. I worry that one day we might not have the insurance to cover some of the ridiculously priced drugs. I worry that while taking them, I'm not the mom/wife/friend/superwoman I'm supposed to be. I quit taking them with no regard for anyone but myself. I was going to be my own hero; not leaning on anyone but myself, because that's what strong girls do.
I'm a freaking fool. That's all I can say about that right now. The rest is too painful. And embarrassing. So embarrassing, I was willing to start a sentence with the word, "And".
There's my apology. I'm so sorry to any of the wonderful people I've let down. If you felt like I wasn't listening to your advice, well, get in line. I had my own agenda. Now I have to pick up some pieces and do some serious work.
You're probably thinking, "What the He**? I came here because the woman said she received some awards? I don't need any of this Debbie Downer stuff!" To you, again, I say, "Get in line".
I actually was blessed enough to receive 3 awards. I'm spreading them out over the week, so you're not overwhelmed by all this happiness I'm throwing out to you. Calm down, people. Breathe.
Award #1 was given to my by the wonderful Sarah @The Mommy Chronicles. Sarah, if you're saying, "What? When did I give that to her? Well that would be a big, fat, (let me look...) four months ago!! Which blog award did I receive? Oh, that's right:
Bless you, Sarah, I hope you still feel like passing that baby on, because I love it and want to stick it right over there on the side of my blog (Where it looks like I rock as a blogger). My untimely response has in no way diminished my excitement! I absolutely owe you a coffee for this one :)
The Rules for accepting this award are:
1. Accept the award! Thank you, Thank you Sarah!
2. Post the award and link back to the person who gave it to you.
3. Give ten facts about yourself.
4. Award some other bloggers .
My ten facts. (Haven't I spilled enough shame on the world of bloggers already?)
1. I love the show, "Grimm."
2. I love trashy movies like "The Hangover, Bridesmaids, Old School and Hot Tub Time Machine."
2. My daughter is getting ready to fly the coop and I haven't been very nice about it.
3. I have 1000 things to do and an emotional wall I can't seem to knock down in order to complete the tasks.
4. I didn't realize how deep my love was for Mike and Ike's. Ive been eating them as if they were an essential food group.
5. The oscillating fan in my room is my best friend at night. (Hot flashes do not rock.)
6. My favorite thing is laughing. (Do I sound like Buddy the Elf?)
7. In the deepest part of my soul, I do believe I have the capacity to be epically awesome :)
8. I have the best undercover blog friends ever.
9. In case you're wondering, I am back on the "drug wagon".
10. Still don't know what to think about that.
A few bloggers, I think are epically awesome:
1. Dawn @ Words of Deliciousness (yummy recipe genius!)
2.Lilybean @ Needles, Eggshells and Hairspray (hard working, sweet student, sewer and blogger).
3. My friends @ Rock Bottom (Sweet friends who speak the truth)
Stay tuned for my next installment of "Awards and Embarrassment". Oh, Heck yes, there's enough to go around!
Happy, "Be the best YOU you can be today", my friends