Secret Subject Swap-February '14

Happy February, friends!

If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 11 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:

Martha Stewart, inspiration or horrible show off?

It was submitted by:  http://spinstersnacks.com

Martha, Martha, Martha.

I wrote a small note to Martha and Bob Villa a few years back. It sadly explained how we three were NOT alike in our decorating. I respect both for their careful, planned-out projects; but for the love of wood-glue and sawdust, I just can't be a step-by-step girl. I re-did my whole staircase with fall garland still on the banister. I begged my husband (ignoring his pleas) to install a glass door on our bathroom. I'm a little off. Admit it. That's why you're here in the first place.

Martha's likes: delicate china, bidets, and building things "plumb, level and square."
My likes: eating cookie dough from the mixer,  peeing when the kids will let me, and using tons of caulk.

So. Is Martha a show-off? I'm not sure. Anytime I think of the ridiculous, glitterific-dodecagon crafts she comes up with, I try to remember that she has a huge staff behind her. Those people are probably coming up (hourly) with more ways to make humans feel inadequate. I doubt it's purposeful. I also doubt that Martha milks her own cows and rips her own cheese cloth to come up with cream for her morning coffee. She's a brand. There are things I disagree with regarding her process, but she's obviously doing something right to be where she is today. Rather than tear her down as a person, I thought I'd high-light a few differences between ol' Martha and me. There are many solutions to problems. Some are careful, calculated, precise and thorough, and some are mine.

Here are a few quotes from Martha and me:

Martha: "I have cotton or flannel sheets, depending on the weather. They have to be ironed, and I get my bed changed nearly everyday.".-brainyquote.com

Me: "If I make it to bed without having to shake off a pound of dog hair, without having my fitted sheet pop up from where the fabric pulled away from the elastic, or even if I have to kick off a few jellybeans/popcorn/kids from the bed, I've had a good day. The man knows when the sheets have been freshly washed because there is always a "damp spot" that the dryer has missed; and somehow, that always ends up on his side."

***

Martha: "I have a minor gripe…Who are these bloggers? They're not trained editors at Vogue magazine. I mean, there are bloggers writing recipes that aren't tested, that aren't necessarily any good, or are copies of everything that really good editors have created or done. So, bloggers create kind of a popularity, but they are not the experts. We have to understand that."- Bloomberg TV

Me: (gritting my teeth) "Bloggers are wonderful. They've used social media to benefit their businesses, build contacts and network. They connect with others offering advice, support or an often-needed smile. Many bloggers are beyond educated. Not only by holding college degrees, but by raising children without "guides". We pull foods for dinner out of what we have left in our pantries (not from french cookbooks). When our children are crying, we are the only ones who get to solve their problems. Most of us do not have a "staff." I have about 100 followers, which is anything but popular. Still, I write for my sanity as well as to share my ideas. As for using our recipes and having them work? If they can feed a husband, three finicky children and 2 dogs, I say they are more than tested. Dang it, I can rock a grilled cheese sandwich! Can an editor at Vogue make micro-wave popcorn ala shellybean? I think not. You know what? That's okay too. I'm happy to share the recipe. You're always welcome to read about my world; my successes and my epic fails. That's what bloggers do."

Micro-wave popcorn ala' shellybean

***

Martha: "It's a good thing."

Me: "On the eighth day, God made caulk, and it was good."

***

Martha: "I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time." -brainyquote.com
* "I love to be sick! There is nothing like throwing up or writhing in pain on my 'down-time."- said no woman EVER.

***

Martha: "I find that when you have a real interest in life and a curious life, that sleep is not the most important thing"- thinkexist.com

Me: "I find that in order to walk upright and produce clear thoughts, one needs to sleep. Lack of it often makes the creative dull; it makes workers (blue and white collar) incapable of properly doing their jobs. Most of all, it makes for one grouchy household. We all know it: When mama ain't happy….COME ON NOW."

studying sleep :)

***

Martha: "Never ate fast food. I proudly can tell you that I've eaten one Burger King and I think maybe two McDonald's... and today I ate an In-N-Out burger. It was okay. You know, it's not my favorite food. I would much rather have a salad or sushi or something like that.-credit: Foodista

Me: "God Bless you, Martha Stewart."

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She is an amazing woman. You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's 15 talented participants!

Baking in a Tornado                          

The Momisodes                                       

Stacy Sews and Schools               

follow me home                     

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                   

Dates 2 Diapers 2                       

Confessions of a Part-time Working Mom                        

Evil Joy Speaks                   

Spinster Snacks                                         

FBX Adventures (In Parenting)                           

More Than Cheese and Beer        

Searching for Sanity                     

Small Talk Mama                                          

Juicebox Confession                         

Spatulas on Parade 
     
Digital cartoon credits: CJM Happy Friday, friends :)
-Michele               

Fly On The Wall: January 2014

Hey there!  Welcome to the January Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....

Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 20)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 9)

Henry and Lila- The dogs

Happy Birthday to yooooooooou. Ugh!:

My poor husband. His birthday is the last day of the year. By that time, we are all sick of wishing and singing and wrapping anything.  On one hand, even he is tired of it all. On the other, it is New Year's Eve. We usually spend the evening hosting friends and celebrating with the family. It's always a lot of fun. This year, however, he was turning 40. (This is where the fly on the wall has to follow along.)
To celebrate, I invited our friends on a trip across the state line. Yes, we are rebels. There are casinos and restaurants in the great state of Nevada. It's very grown up. Our friends have 3 children as well, so we love to get away every now and then and have a good time. It was packed this visit (New Year's Eve). The men were playing on the tables and my friend and I were betting big on the penny machines. Being the wild kids we are, we all ended up playing UNO in our hotel room. That ball seems to drop later and later every year. Our friends ended up leaving at 12:01. We are old.
The man's birthday was over. I could tell he had fun. The rest of the "romantic" night went something like this.
Me: "Honey…I have something for you." I reach deep into my tote bag and pull out a huge…bag of Chex mix.
The Man: "No you did not! Have they been opened yet? The little pieces are intact?"
I nod and reach further into my bag.
Me: "I also brought…Red Vines. Still fresh and untouched."
His smile is bigger.
I finally help him undress and push him on the bed. He backs up to the pillows with the Chex mix in one hand and the Licorice in the other. I lean over and softly whisper into his ear..
Me "My final gift? You get this whole bed to yourself." I jump onto the other bed and curl up.
No dog hair. No blanket hogging. No kids interrupting his snores. One night. One whole night!
Best. Birthday. Ever.

The truth and nothing but the truth:

I moved some pantry items into a glass-fronted cabinet.
A.: "Wow. When you look at it that way, we seem unhealthy"
The truth: We are unhealthy.

J.: "Look at all of that frosting! There's a bunch of flavors. Mom, didn't we buy a chocolate kind?"
I shrug.
The truth: Some nights are hard. A tub of frosting and a good novel can do wonders for a girl's sanity.

C.: "Mom, how did you get that nasty bruise on your leg?"
Me: "Hmm. I'm not sure. You know how I'm always bumping into things. Maybe I did it during yoga."
The truth: I bumped hard into the dresser while running across the room. The man had just come through the door announcing it was "Dunkin Donut Wednesday."

The doctor: (at my latest appt.) "Hmm. Your weight is down. Have you changed your diet? Your activities?"
Me: (shaking my head) "Nope. Not one thing."
The truth: It's inexplicable. Maybe it's yoga. And Dunkin Donut Wednesday. Bending, frosting and books. Hey, I found a lifestyle change worth sticking to!

Downward facing dog.

I don't know 'bout birthin' no babies!:

Me: (sitting straight up,in the middle of the night) "OMG! My water just broke!"
The Man: (sitting up just as fast) "What???"
We both get up and find that Henry has emptied out his whole bladder on the bed and apparently, me.
The Man: "I don't know whether to scream at Henry or hug him."
Me: (changing out of my soaked pajamas) "For all that is holy, I'm not having a baby! Give that dog a steak!"

***

J: "Mom, I have to talk to you. I was talking to (so and so) and they told me about... sex."
Me: (heaving and choking and ready to kill someone) "What do you mean? Like whether we are male and female? Boy or girl? That's what sex is. That's what you're asking, right? (my voice has hit every octave by now.)
J: "No." (looking flushed) "She told me about when a man and a woman sleep in a bed together…"
Me: "Is it hot in here? Did you hear the doorbell? Have you seen my inhaler?"
J: "You said I could ask you anything. I just want to know where the baby comes from after that."
Me: (Counting to ten. Who is the child poisoning my little boy with this stuff? Wasn't I just yelling at my baby to put away his Lego undies?) I think and breathe, breathe and think.
"That is a really good question. I've been wondering that myself. Let's ask Dad when he comes home."
It's called co-parenting people. I can only do so much.

My babies

Future jobs for my family:

Based on scientific research, i.e., our running mouths:

The Man: "Do you want to go to the beach?"
Me: "We can't. We have a wedding to plan for."
The Man: "We need to get away."
Me: "What about your job?  I know things have been up in the air…"
The Man: "I want to go."
Me: "But I just super-sized these french fries!"
The Man: "Do you want to go or not?"
Me: "I guess so. He## yes, I want to go!"
Future Job: The man and I? Homeless, happy beach bums.

A. (fighting with her brother) "I couldn't care less about that story if I were fast asleep."
Future Job: Supreme Court Judge

C. (Fighting with his brother) "I'm tired of you asking all of those questions. All of the answers you need can be found on the internet. When you don't use the computer it's like saying Steve Jobs lived and died for nothing."
Future Job: Motivational Speaker

J. (getting ready for school) "Where is that yellow pencil? The one with the #2 on it? Once you sharpen them they last for a really long time. I need to find that pencil."
Future Job: SAT and ACT tester (pencil hander-outer)

Finally, Some Random Quotes:

C. to me: "Great, mom. You moved dad's leather chair into your bedroom. Now, we'll never see him."

J. to me: "Of course you have nice handwriting. You've been doing cursive for 99 years!"

J. to the man: "What do you say we make it a FIVE day weekend?"

A. to her fiance': "Do these pants make me look fat? (he shakes his head no). Why? Do you think I'm skinny? Don't you like my big butt? (he says he does.) So. You think I have a big butt?" Let the games begin.

Me to anyone who will listen: "Yes, we're having a wedding. Yes, It's in August. Yes, she is ready. Yes, we love him. No, she is not going to have a baby. Yes, she is finishing her degree. Yes, I would love if she'd stay down the hall from me forever. No, I haven't stopped crying. Yes, I do have my therapist AND my pharmacist booked solid for the two weeks prior to and after the wedding."

My baby girl is getting married. Help me.

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                          

The Rowdy Baker                                  

Just a Little Nutty                          

The Momisodes                                       

Spatulas on Parade                           

The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                   

Follow Me Home                          

Stacy Sews and Schools                  

Searching for Sanity                           

The Lazy Mom's Cooking Blog                       

Menopausal Mother                             

Victory Rose                       

Pink Heart String                                  

Spinster Snacks      

Happy Friday, friends.
-Michele                            

Use Your Words!

Hello, friends!

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A Tornado. This is how it works: 12 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. 

My words are: 

tiny ~ gigantic ~ beautiful ~ disaster ~ court

They were submitted by: Baking In A Tornado  

"Pattern Stories #2"

"Can you dig it?" 1972

In the early Seventies, the Cascade brothers were all the rage in the modeling circuits. Sears, J.C. Penney and Montgomery Ward offered the three boys GIGANTIC contracts for posing together in their catalogs. Their BEAUTIFUL faces graced the covers of 16 Magazine and Teen Beat. Young girls everywhere would wait hours outside of photo shoots for a peek or (if they were lucky,) an autograph. These boys were destined for greatness. Andy, Sam and Mickey were ready to rule the world runway.

                                    "White Slacks are Okay after Labor Day" campaign, 1987

Super model stardom for the trio, however, was not meant to be. Fifteen years later, Andy, Sam and Mickey sat down to "tell all" on an episode of Phil Donahue. It seems that the brothers had moved on to different things after the modeling gigs thinned out.  There were plenty of new boys (some who could sing, some who could act, some who could do both) who were ready to take the places of the former teenage crushes. 
After posing for their last cover together, the three talked about what they'd been up to.

Andy (now Drew) 29, dropped out of modeling at the age of 17, when his hair prematurely turned grey. A ghost writer for more than a dozen "Charlie's Angels" novels, Drew splits his days between professional jogging in Connecticut and representing himself in COURT. He's currently fighting an AARP magazine that used his grey-hair image without consent.

Sam, 31, was the brother most likely to succeed in the modeling world. After dropping out of school at the ripe age of 10, Sam was unable to read the contracts he was signing. His illiteracy and constant need for frosted highlights left him broke. He is married to Angelica, age 89, whom he says, "gets him." She is the only living heir to the Maxwell House Coffee dynasty.

Mickey, (now Michael) 25, was often labeled the "cutest of the bunch." His coy looks and TINY man-body mesmerized crowds everywhere. At the awkward age of 13, people were no longer interested in the not-so-little boy. Depressed, Michael found himself at the bottom of many bottles of Scotch. When a family secret finally came out that his father was not his real dad, Michael turned his DISASTER-of-a-life around and got clean. He searched for years looking for his alleged half-brother and dad. When David (the brother) was found, he was ecstatic about the family news and introduced Michael to their father, Edward Hasselhoff. Michael keeps contact with both of his families.  He's currently living out his true passion, doing stunt work on his brother's new show, "Knight Rider". 

Check out the other participants in today's Use Your Words Challenge!

Baking In A Tornado                   

Juicebox Confessions        

Confessions of a Part-time Working Mom          

Battered Hope           

Spatulas on Parade          

Evil Joy Speaks               

Stacy Sews and Schools          

Searching for Sanity            

Just A Little Nutty                         

The Bergham's Life Chronicles               

Follow Me Home                   

Dates 2 Diapers 2   

Photos:

1. Simplicity Pattern Co. #5160 1972

2.Kwik Sew Pattern Co. #997  197?                    

Happy Friday, friends :)

-Michele