I think that was my last birthday...

Hey friends.

Yesterday's birthday was a great one. I heard/read greetings from family and friends via my blog, my husband's FB page (long story), Twitter, texting, voice mails and visits. I don't like to make a big deal out of the day, but it truly was nice.

So why would I say it was my LAST birthday? Easy. My birthday gifts. First, let me say right away how much I loved my ALL of my birthday gifts. I know how hard it is for people to go out of their way to find something special and personal . My family absolutely did that.

Second, my gifts ALWAYS reflect how ironic my life is. Plus, if you've been keeping up with the blog, you already know I have to make fun of myself AND my family. Come on, now!!

All day, the older two teased each other about spending "enough" time with me.  They kept saying, "Be nice to mom, because... well, you never know!" That's unconditional love right there....for someone. I think.

And so my friends, here are a few ways I may go into that dark night....

#1 Cause of not making it to age 43: Exercise-induced asthma attack, suffered after 32 continuous hours of Yoga.
Reason: Gift from the man: Yoga pants, Size Xtra-Small. XS. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Bless his heart.

I'm going to challenge that 4-way stretch thing..

#2 Cause of not making it to 43: Silicone overdose.
Reason: I would have to be sporting some brand new double Ds to fit in the fabulously large Detroit Lion's shirt also given to me by the man. Long term plan for him? Hmmm. Triple-sized breast enhancement surgery and half of a hip removed so I can fit in those yoga pants....Perfect.

#3 / #4  Cause of not making it to age 43: Choking on my own teeth and high blood pressure.
Reason: These were given to me all individually wrapped. Cavities? Sodium overload? Best hour and a half of my life while I find out???? My family knows me too well.

When I imagine my last meal,  (it may be sooner than I thought) It looks a lot like this. Except more circus....Hey!! Where ARE the circus peanuts?? 

*update 8:00pm. I just had the most adorable friend deliver to my doorstep a bag of Circus peanuts. She rocks. Thanks to her and to the power of blogging! Woo Hoo!

#5 Cause: Bleeding out
Reason: I knew the shapes of at least three of those wrapped sweets up there. They were sitting on the table all day long while the kids were at school and the man was at work. I contemplated more than once opening them, nibbling a bit and re-wrapping them. Who would miss a can of cherry coke? A block of chocolate? 7/8 of a Snickers bar? Baby, please!!!  Still, I would completely get my share of paper cuts after trying to put all of it back together....

#6 Cause: Incidence to age.
Reason: I really didn't think this birthday marked any difference in age or feeling. It felt like just another day. You're probably saying to yourself that I was being a little paranoid by thinking AGE 42 was as good as it was going to get. I might have thought that at one time too...But finally, I received this card from the youngest:

"Dear Mom. Happy Birthday. You are the best mom ever. I love you and 42 is a big number.        1970-2012

And there it is. 42 years, exactly.



Happy "make-the-most-of-the-next-364-days", friends!!

Put a fork in it...

Hey-O, friends.

In my never-ending search for normalcy, I have a few more "Have you ever?" questions to ask ...

Today's topic: Plastic silverware.

You know. The kind you buy for parties or for picnics?

Here we go:

* Have you ever needed JUST forks or JUST spoons for your special occasion, but the only things left on the grocery store shelves were 26 boxes of knives?

* Have you ever wanted the "fancier," clear-plastic cutlery, but all you could find at Walmart was the cheap, white, bendy kind?

* Have you ever wanted forks or spoons in a certain color to perfectly match your family's Halloween/Birthday/Christmas/Arbor Day theme party?

* Have you ever reached the paper-goods aisle only to forget which type of utensil you were out of? Was it the pack of spoons you were lacking, or was it the knives? Now you have to buy one of each, just in case. (BTW, Can anyone cut ANYTHING with a plastic knife? Don't say cake. That's what the sides of plastic forks are for. Don't say BBQ pork chops. You KNOW you pick those up with your hands and shake the meat off the bones like a rabid dog....)

Anyway... I asked these questions regarding disposable eating utensils in the hopes that you might say, "Yes!! Of course I've been in that situation! I NEVER have enough "real" silverware for my guests! None of my spoons match! All of my "real" forks are dirty! I don't mind at all putting another dent in our landfills! Who DOESN'T want pink spoons or clover leaf-green forks?"

I'm crossing my fingers and my toes hoping you will have said ANY of those things.

Because today, I cleaned out part of our pantry-closet. OK. Not really CLEANED. I was actually looking for cupcake cups and found everything but cupcake cups. This particular closet has been a place where I  shove  stuff with my feet and close the door really fast put party supplies and a little of everything else EVER sold in the seasonal party-section of Target...

Back on the topic of plastic silverware. In that unorganized closet, in every nook and cranny, where there should have been some all-forsaken cupcake liners.....

You guessed it. This instead, my understanding friends, is what I found:

I know what you're thinking.

I OBVIOUSLY need a pseudo-flatware intervention...

.... and some SPORKs.

Happy National "give-a-fake-fork-to-everyone-you-know" Day, friends :)

Two awards and a crossroad..

Hello friends,

I was blessed to be given two blog awards this week! Some things are "right on time" and that's how I feel about all of the blog love lately.

Recently, I've been having a lull in my blogging. I'm sorry about that.

Have you ever had times where you're frustrated or disappointed...where you're a bit lost and not sure how to handle the life you have right now? Come on. I CAN'T be the only one... I find it hardest at these times, to be witty or crafty or sane. If I type what I'm really thinking, I fear I may scare some of my readers off or get arrested or something...

I told my husband last weekend that I was thinking of quitting the blog. I always wanted to make it to  25, 000 hits. It was huge number at one time to me.  Then this weekend, there it was. 25, 003. Fantastic. Now what?

When the man asked why I wanted to give up something I'd worked so hard to build, all I could answer was, "I don't know if I have anything else of substance to say".

Words matter. I know that. Because I say it all the time. I just have to figure out what to do with MY words.

While I was in the midst of all this contemplating, these awards came along.

Oh, how they make me smile.  I'm so proud of them and adore the people who passed them on to me. I love that readers have stopped by to check out what's going on in my world. I've gotten the chance to meet many new blogging friends, too; people I never would have met in "real" life. NOT meeting them would have been a shame, because many of us have so much in common. I'm more than grateful for those blog-ships and all the smiles that have accompanied them.

So Claire and Ashley?  Thanks for giving me another day of something else to say. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.

Thanks first to Claire, from Another New Day for passing on the Laine Blogger  award.

It's kind of a beauty-blogger award. I know. I'm not that much into the whole "beauty products" stuff.  Not because I don't want to be.  It is just that I'm a stay at home mom who sometimes doesn't wash off her make-up at night and wears her clothes to bed out of exhaustion. Before that, I was a teacher who played with pudding paints and strung Fruit Loop on yarn necklaces. It was hard to feel beautiful dressed in  an ABC jumper and clogs....

 None of that matters though, because I'm learning from these beautiful bloggers every day. Who knows, I may make it to the grocery someday with more than a ponytail and chapstick. I'm halfway kidding...

I've chosen to pass this award to the following five blogs. They are all written by some talented girls. Stop by if you get the chance, tell them I sent you and give them some sugar.

1. Across the Pond
2. Houndstooth & Heels
3. Sew much to do, Sew little time
4. A Little Dash of Diva
5. Barbara and 1923

To pass the award on,  you:

1. Tag the blogger who awarded you

2. Answer the 5 questions

3. Award it to 5 more bloggers

And my answers to the questions are:

1.What is your current beauty obsession?

Other than getting a brush through my hair? I'm loving the bright, creamy colors of nail polish out now. I've fallen for a Revlon periwinkle color. I only polish my toes, but it's been fun for summer flip-flop weather.

2. What is the one beauty item you wished you owned?

I was thinking that I wanted a big old bottle of WEN shampoo. The infomercials make it look like a hair miracle. But then, I read a hilarious review from a fellow blogger that changed my mind a bit. It is by the way, a must read.

I guess as a back up, I'd love any product that could make my freckles-turned large age-spots disappear.

3. What is your favourite post to read or write about?

I love reading/writing about sewing reviews, sweets and being an over-anxious mom, but even more, I love anything that makes me or my readers laugh.  

4. What inspired you to become a blogger?

Validation. It's a way to prove I'm still walking upright.

5. What nail polish are you wearing now?

Nothing on my fingers. On my toes? Avon's Ruby Red Slippers. So fun.

Thanks again, Claire @Another New Day!! Claire is also a teacher-turned-SAHM. She's from "across the pond". How cool is that?

***

My second award was given to me by Ashley over at Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others (I know, best blog name ever..) Thank you, Thank you for passing on the award! (wiping away yet another tear..) If you're not a perfect mom and you want to laugh until embarrassing things happen, stop over there now.

 Here are the Rules for the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. Add the award to your blog. 

2. Thank the person who presented it to you. 

3. List seven random facts about yourself. 

4. List the rules. 

5. Pass the award onto seven other bloggers. 

6. Inform each blogger they have won by posting a comment on their blog

Seven Random Facts about Myself:

1. I can decorate, sew and craft the bologna out of a house, but I will kill anything outside of one. I loathe gardening.

2. I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom and a teacher. Always.. But, 

 I NEVER wanted to be married. Yeah, I didn't really think that one through, but thank goodness that all ended well.. 

3. I'm ambidextrous. I eat and write left handed, but do everything else with my right hand. (I wouldn't be caught dead in school using those Lefty scissors). Sure, I get ink/chalk/pencil lead on my hands from scraping them along my writing, but I can put away groceries and empty a dishwasher like a super hero.

4. I kill the environment by drinking water from water bottles. It's wrong. I know it, and I can't stop. Lukewarm water in a bottle is the best.

5. I'm a very good tipper and I always stack all of the dishes on the table to make it easier for the busboys/girls. Waiting tables seems hard, man.

6. There is nothing more important to me than the people that live in my house.

7. I love football season. The man and I waste a ridiculous amount of time watching college football on Saturdays. Then, the NFL on Sundays in the afternoon AND night.... Eventually Mondays...and Thursdays, too. We have the paper marked up every week with our picks. We're Mitten People first. Michigan Wolverines, Detroit Lions, and then every body else....ahem, Dallas Cowboys last. :P

There you go.

My 7  choices are people I constantly read or stalk. No, those two are not the same thing. Please go give them a look. You may be hooked as well :)

1. Go Momma

2. Tropical Mum

3. Frou Frou bynickie

4. Boogies and Boo-boos

5. The Greek Housewife

6. Articles of Absurdity

7. And who says you can't

Happy thoughtful Tuesday, friends.