-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Fly on the Wall: July 2015

Hello, Friends!  Welcome to the July Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 12 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!


Cast:
Me
The man
Alex, the eldest 
Micah, Alex's husband 
C., The middle (son, 17)
J., The youngest (son, 10)

The fly on the wall would have to be using his eyes a lot around here. We spend most of our days keeping in contact with our family via texts. It's not ideal, but it's the way things are for us right now. Still, I'm glad for the phones that keep us in reach. Here are a few of this month's favorite texts. I'm always touched that my family can keep the sarcasm alive, even when we're not in the same house.
***

Alex: So. I'm being asked for thirtieth time if you're ever going back to "work".  Am I supposed to go with the same response?
Me: Which is?
Alex: That you're perfectly happy spending your days collecting drug money and making our father work his fingers to the bone?
Me: I don't know. Collecting drug money sounds like I'm contributing. But I guess I'm still good with that.
***
C.: Mom. Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie? My long lost son, is that you?
C.: Wrong answer. If you would have said that it was me, I would be bringing this home:
Me: Ask me again! 
C.: Who is your favorite child?
Me: Robbie, is that you?
"C. has left the conversation."
***
Alex: (getting her new classroom ready) Should I write my first name inside all of the books I bought? Or my last name? My phone number? What did you write inside yours?
Me: "I wrote: Don't steal this book or I will find you. You will think you got away with it, but one dark night, I WILL find you, and make you give this book back to me."
Alex: So you weren't beloved. Everyone was just terrified of you?
Me: Pretty much.
***

Alex: Holy hot, mom! It's 102 degrees. How are we supposed to function in this heat?
Me: Take a lesson from your family...
***
Me: So. This is what happens when I'm doing laundry and trip over the crate my husband left out this morning.
Mark: You know that you're texting your husband, right?
Me: Am I?
Mark: Ouch!
ME: Really? That's all you have to say?
Mark: Um, at least you can hop around on your good foot to put the laundry away?
Two Hours later.
Mark: Hello? Is it safe to come home?
***
Random texts that don't get a response:
These are texts that are either rhetorical or meant to cause a blood pressure spike.
Alex to Me:"Should I get a perm?"
Mark to me:"By WHOLE GRAIN, do you mean the soft, white Wonderbread? That's what I think you mean."
Mark to me: "Do you mind if the new fridge sticks out about six inches into the hallway?"
C. to Me:"Whatever you do, don't go in my room!"
Alex to me:"Is it bad to wear tights in July?"
C. to Me: "If I'm not back by dawn, delete my internet history."
Me to Alex: "A family Taco cart. Don't say no. Just think about it."
Me to C.: "I'm starting to wonder if the moon landing really WAS staged..."
C. does NOT kid around when it comes to Space, so I must do that for him.
***

We had a plumber working here for hours trying to hook up a water softener. Our house was not fitted for one, and of course, everything had to be brought up to code. Ugh...
I was downstairs working in my shop which is next to the utility room.
Me: (texting Mark, who was upstairs) Hey. The plumber just came in and asked what I do in here. I showed him the shop and gave him my card.
Mark: Did you invite him to dinner? We're paying him a ton of money. By the hour.
Me: So. I shouldn't have given him a discount code?
Mark: Did he give you a discount code?

Finally:
Group Text:

Alex: I just spent the whole day lesson-planning. I still have two papers to write :(
C.: I just found out I have to close all weekend.
Alex: Thanks for making us responsible people, mom and dad.
C.: Yeah, thanks. We should be out partying with our friends.
Mark:
"Alex has left the conversation."
"C. has left the conversation."

Fly over and say, "Hey!" to this month's fly participants!




Happy "Love your family, wherever they are", friends!
-Michele            

22 comments:

  1. OMG, I NEED that Sprinkled Animal Cookie ice cream like you need Circus Peanuts. Tell :C" to text me, he's DEFINITELY my favorite!
    I have to admit I love your blue tongue and hate your (black and) blue leg.
    XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was delicious!
      It's funny, when C. first told me about the ice cream, I thought it WAS Circus Peanut flavored! If indeed that were true, I'd be in a sugar coma and unable to write ANY blog entry. LOL

      Delete
  2. Oh, that last group conversation is absolutely priceless!!
    I love that picture of you two. <3
    That ice cream sounds like it may need to visit my house. My kids would flip!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Thanks, Meg!
      The flavors of ice cream from that company are incredible. Next up? Key Lime Pie.
      <3

      Delete
  3. Oh my gosh! Y'all crack me up. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are a crazy bunch, for sure. So glad to have you stop by, Minette!
      <3

      Delete
  4. Enjoyed the dialogue and loved the random texts. Blue tongue -- so 'summer!' And you are so darn cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Carol! We always send the most unflattering pictures to each other in our family. The blue tongue pic was one of those!

      Delete
  5. So many wonderful gems in this FOTW post! Love the thing about deleting the internet history and the family taco cart----BAHAHAHA!!!! I also love the photo---blue tongues and all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our little tribe is pretty random...Like you, I wouldn't trade them for the world. Blue tongues scream adulthood, don't they??

      Delete
  6. Blue tongue special...recipe? Is it an adult beverage? heehee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1/4 c. blue curaçao 1/4 c. Sweet and Sour, 1/4 c. lemonade or lemonade vodka . Shake, pour over ice. Makes two. Fill rest of glass with Ginger Ale. or...
      forget all of that and just drink 100% Blue Hawaiian Punch ;)

      Delete
  7. The taco cart was the best idea we'be ever had! Still want to try that ice cream, even though we all know who your favorite child really is..... Still rocked the rights, but knew better about the perm lol.. Great post! Love you! ❤️

    -A

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The taco cart conversation was gold. I"m still thinking on that one. Only YOU could rock tights in July ;)
      Love you right back.

      Delete
  8. Oh my gosh! I seriously wait all month for this and I love it. All y'all's conversations are hilarious.

    Ouch on the bruise! I know that feel. I can barely walk and everyone is still expecting me to do stuff. I'm like, okay, but it will take twice as long if I do it instead of you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robin!! I'm so glad you visit.
      That bruise has NOTHIN' on your sore leg ;( I'm hoping it's already healing...
      You should not be doing anything but getting well.
      <3

      Delete
  9. LOL. I'm going to start writing threats along with my name in contact information in all my text books too. Sorry about the bruise. That looks painful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to say...book threats work ;)
      Thanks about the leg bruise...it's (finally!) fading nicely.

      Delete
  10. Love how texts showed up in Fly - Funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, Cathy. The kids are growing up so quickly. With jobs and summer, it's the only way we all keep in contact. Glad to have you visiting the blog <3

      Delete
  11. Omgoodness! I'm laughing through tears!! You guys are a riot! I have zero favorites because they were all hilarious!
    Love and miss yo' face FF!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just saw this! I love you, Nick Nack. Thanks for commenting. Are you warming up the deep fried pickles? I'm ready!!
      <3

      Delete

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