-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Fly On The Wall- March 2014

Hey there!  Welcome to the March Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 13 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 20)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 9)
Henry and Lila- The dogs

Food:

Me to the Man: "Didn't you just go to the grocery store?"
The Man: "Yes. Why?"
Me: "I don't see anything from the list."
The Man: "What list?"
Me: "The one on the chalkboard?"
The Man: "The chalkboard? I thought that was just for looks."
Me: "You thought 'granola bars and toilet bowl cleaner' was for looks?"
***
A.: "Mom. If the cereal Gods were reading my mind, they would have invented 'THIS' cereal."
C.: "Who wouldn't want that cereal? It's crunch berries AND marshmallows. It's like Kindergarten crack."
***
The man: "My childhood memories are shattered. Individually boxed Trix and Lucky Charms now come in little bags. There were times you could cut along the mini boxes and pour milk into them."
Me: "Yeah?" (I totally remembered that.)
The Man: "Yeah. You didn't even need a bowl."
C.: "Times are hard, Dad. I'll never experience eating cold cereal from a box..."
The Man: "Yeah. But you WILL experience being grounded."

Sleeping:

J.: "I don't know why I have to wear pajamas. If I go to sleep in my jeans and wake up tomorrow, I'm already halfway to being dressed..."
***
Me to the man: "I still can't sleep. Do you want to talk or something?"
The Man: "Can you talk to Lila or Henry? I'm really tired."
Me: "You want me to talk to the dogs?"
The Man: "Yes. I have to go in early tomorrow." He looks at me. "What? Talking to the dogs isn't weird or anything."
Me: (pulling the blankets over to my side while rolling over)"I know that! I talk to them all day long!"
***
J. has a friend over. He goes upstairs to get a LEGO figurine. His friend starts to follow him.
A few steps up, J. turns around to look at his friend.
J: "Oh, wait. You can't come upstairs."
The friend: "Why not?"
J: "Because it's a rule. That's where we sleep."
The friend: "Your whole family sleeps right there; at the top of the stairs?"


Revolving door:

C. had friends over last Friday night. We always order pizzas on Fridays because there's bound to be someone stopping by. Personally, I like to know where the kids are and what they're doing on the weekends, so it's not a problem. During the coming and going of teens, a new friend came over.

The new boy: "Thanks for the pizza, ma'am."
Me: Oh. I know you said 'mom'.  Ma'am is my mother-in-law."
The Man: "You asked him to call you 'mom'. Are you trying to be the cool-mom?"
Me: "No. I just don't want to be called ma'am. Plus, if you call me 'mom', I can give you chores. You'll be having at least three of those kids washing your car this weekend."
C.: (patting the new kid's shoulder). "Nothing's free at our house, man."
***

We have 106 places to sit in the house. I have one cream colored couch. Guess where the sweaty teenage friend with the bag of Cheetos sits?"
Me to C. (with that 'mom glare'): "Are you feeling lucky today?"
C. : (understanding the code) "Um, let's go downstairs..."
***
A.: "About the rule of staying off the couch..."
Me.: "Did someone spill something? Are there Cheetos fingerprints? I haven't had that thing scotch-guarded yet..."
A.: " Henry just jumped up there and I yelled for him to get down."
Me: "Well, did he?"
A.: "Yep. After he peed."
***

Things that make you say, "Hmm":

*After learning that I needed to stay away from sweets, 8 out of 10 people comfort THE MAN.

*I bought a 1000 piece puzzle. It's almost put together. I am waiting for Henry to poop out the corner piece.

*Now that we have teenage drivers with teenage driving friends, our driveway is an ongoing game of Tetris.

*I'm in the shower and ignoring J., who is knocking on the door. I can tell by the knock that it's not an "Our house is on fire!"knock, but more of a "Can I have a snack?" knock. After a minute, the knocking stops. I'm rinsing my hair when the laundry chute door flies open. J. has crawled through his bathroom and into mine via the chute.
"Mom? Is anyone going to drink that last gatorade?" he asks.
"You can have it" I answer.
What? Anyone willing to go to those lengths deserves a drink.

*Last puzzle piece. Any hour now...

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.
Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                          
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Just a Little Nutty                                
The Momisodes                                          
Spatulas on Parade                          
The Sadder But Wiser Girl                                   
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                      
Someone Else's Genius                          
Menopausal Mother                               
Pink Heart String                                     
Spinster Snacks                                              
Juicebox Confession                                 


Happy Friday, my friends :)


-Michele

Friday, March 14, 2014

Use Your Words- TMI version 3/14

Hello, friends!



Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A TornadoThis is how it works: 12 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 


My words/ phrases are: 


dropping the ball ~ always needs reminding ~ bat(crap) crazy ~can you give me an amen sista?


They were submitted by: http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com  
    


About 7 years ago, I had a medical procedure done.
I know.
There was a time when I refused to talk on this blog about my health. I figured "eh." It's my blog and I trust my readers to laugh with me (not at me). Also, I'm pretty much guaranteeing that if you're having a bad day, this story will make you feel a bit better. When I feel down, I look back at this note and say, "Yeah. Today is not so bad." My mind always needs reminding that things could be worse. 
Sometimes a laugh can make all the difference. This is an e-mail I sent (pre-blog) to a few friends describing the procedure. If you're not one for TMI, you may need to stop right here. But, let's be honest. Saying that just makes you want to read on, right? 




Hi Girls!
Well, I'm a week out from surgery and still a little tired so I thought I'd send a quick update to let you know how things went. (SWELL, of course!)
I had an easy endoscopy (upper) on Thursday that went well. I have some gastritis and esophogitis (sp?), but thankfully no more polyps. (Insert here an advertisement for Prevacid, as that's what I'll be ingesting for, well, a very long time)Yeah! I won't have to have that procedure again. I just have to go back every three years for a colonoscopy. Hopefully, there will be a magic pill invented by then,that will not make me so..um..painfully empty.

On Friday, we went to the surgical center for the- girly stuff. I went in fully knowing that the doctor would perform an ablation and diagnostic laparascopy. We even talked about removing one of the cystic ovaries on my right side due to pelvic pain and ultrasound results. 

So let's see- I somehow feel as though I should put this into verse- kind of like the "Twelve days of Christmas".... Come on, hum it with me...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
Well, you STILL have both your ovaries...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
you have stage 4 endometriosis,
but you still have both your ovaries...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me (humor me, ok?)
one of your tubaligation clips fell off
and has been floating in your pelvis,
BUT you still have both ovaries!

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
Big breath now-
The doctor removed a lot of endo-
and a very large cyst,
he removed the floating clip,
and took a lot of pictures...
(I know this sounds bat-crap crazy, but it DOES get worse)…

"The doctors, dropping the ball."

oh, and when he did the ablation, you had a puffy cervix, the tubes somehow came off and now you have second degree burns all over your legs and va-jay-jay, BTW, do you think they have a vending machine in here? BUT....
get ready for it....
you get to keep both your ovaries!

"Do you have change for a dollar? -The man


Scorecard-
4, yes 4 needle holes. (couldn't get that big ol' I.V. in those little veins without a fight!)
2, Only 2 laparascopic belly scars- I will wear them with as much pride as the still glowing stretch marks..
A little bit of-( if a little is like a flowing river rapid)  discharge. Yes, I know. You could have lived without knowing it. But since I get to live it, you get to read it.
A whole lot of cramping. Thank you Percocet and thank you Jesus for letting it be invented.
1 mother-in-law who took my kids for two straight days! 
A big ol' bottle of lidocaine for aforementioned va-jay-jay.
A bit of nausea and a lot of fatigue.
One very nervous gyno who swears on his life that this is only the second time in about 400 procedures where someone was burned by the ablation (boiling water). He said it was due to my very loose cervix. (Insert your own joke here)

I know it was an accident. He really was sorry.

Benefits from this experience-

The clip was probably causing a lot of the pain, and is now removed.
The endometriosis was everywhere and is mostly burned away. For now. Doc is sure it will come back. Did you know it can grow into your tissue and even on your lungs? I will eventually have to have the hysterectomy unless I can hold out til menopause. (I hear a challenge…)
I will no longer..(Can you give me an Amen, sista?)..have ANOTHER period again. 

Anywhoo, I go back again in 9 days to revisit (we went yesterday) the gyno. We will then see if I have to have anything else done right away from the burn. I hope to talk him into giving me a copy of the surgery pictures as I'm sure they will make one hell of an awesome scrapbook!  Christmas cards, perhaps?

I miss all of you and I know this was long- but if you are still reading this, you really didn't have more pressing things to do, did you?

Take care of yourselves (I would like the attention to myself for awhile...)

All my love goes out to each of you.
Be strong, Love shel

             
Thanks for the phrases, Joy!

Comics drawn by CMJ (without reading the post.)


Check out the other participants in today's Use Your Words Challenge!

Baking in a Tornado                   
Follow Me Home              
Confessions of a part-time working mom              
Spatulas on Parade                       
Someone Else's Genius                      
Battered Hope                      
Healing Tomato                       
Superior Nonsense                   
Rocks, No Salt Mommy               
Evil Joy Speaks              
Stacey Sews and Schools             
The Bergham's Life Chronicles               


Friday, March 7, 2014

Secret Subject Swap- March 2014

Happy March, every one!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 14 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)


My “Secret Subject” is:
You have a magic lamp. Where did you find it? What were your 3 wishes? Where did you leave the lamp?
It was submitted by: Michelle @ DribblesnGrits

Okay. I'm assuming infinite wishes aren't part of the deal, right? That would have been so easy!! (and maybe a little dangerous!)

Now that the snow is thawing, we are once again seeing our yard and all the work that's going to be weekends in the making. I might complain at this point, but I'm much too happy to have the snow on the mountain top (where it belongs) and not in my yard.

Leave it to the dogs to wander the depths of the yard in full gusto. Henry came back from behind the shed with more mud on his coat than hair. What in the world? I wandered back to the part of the yard I usually try to ignore: the (dreaded) grass heap. Henry had dug up something. Stepping up to the hole, I peeked in and prayed that it wasn't some one's beloved pet. Or grandma. Hey, we live in an unincorporated area. There's no telling what one might find…

I brushed off the "dug up" treasure. It was a box. Dear Lord, it WAS some one's grandma! I'm kidding. The wood cube was beautiful and locked. No worries, though. You know me. A bobby pin, the tine of an olive fork and that baby would be golden.


After a minute of my "other-side-of-the-tracks" skills, the box was open. It wasn't some one's grandma. Or money. Dang. There also weren't any spiders. If there were, the box would have to have been set afire (naturally). Nope. Sitting perfectly in the box was a kettle. A MAGIC kettle. How did I know it was magic? Because when I rubbed it, a beautiful genie that looked like Taye Diggs came out and told me I would be granted three wishes!  I turned it upside down it said the word "Magic" on it and stated that every twenty years, when polished, 3 wishes would be granted.



We signed at the top, February 2014


Now. I have read The Monkey's Paw by W.W. Jacobs. I'm fully aware of the consequences of being greedy. I chose NOT to ask the kettle for a box of assorted ice creams. That would just be selfish, right?

It makes sense. 3 wishes, 3 kids. It's what a mother SHOULD do, right? What are the chances that one of them would choose the assorted ice-cream? Eh. Here we go:

A. (the 20 year-old daughter):

"I would wish to start my dream-teaching job tomorrow (on PAYDAY!) so I can drive my brand-new car to buy myself a huge burrito from Taco Bell. I wouldn't give one care about the price of that delicious Supreme Burrito.


J. (the 9 year-old son):

"I wish for unlimited money."




C. (the 15 year-old son):

"Well…"


Three wishes. Some fulfilled more than others. What about the man, you ask? Well, before burying the box in a secret location, he partook of the extra wish we didn't know we'd get. It's the little things, people. Thank you, Taye Diggs. Magic Kettle.


Thanks for the prompt, Michelle!


Baking in A Tornado                          
The Momisodes                                       
Stacy Sews and Schools              
Follow Me Home                        
Outmanned                                  
Confessions of a part-time Working Mom              
Dribbles and Grits                                
Spatulas on Parade                       
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                 
Someone Else's Genius                     
More than Cheese and Beer             
Searching for Sanity                  
Rants From My Crazy Kitchen                             
Climaxed        

Cheers to having your craziest wishes come true :)

-Michele

Images property of shellybean and created by CJM                          

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Hey-O 3/5/14

No bloggy stuff today. (I know, that's ridiculous; I'm writing on my blog!)

Anywhoo, I just need a place to say hello, if anyone is out there. Holy Hannah, It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm not even sure if the words are cohesive.

Not such a funny post this time. Just wanting to be heard. Just a little bit. Our whole family is going through all kinds of changes right now. I'm just looking for an outlet to scream out loud. AHHHHHH!
I'm hoping that won't get me a rubber room. If I ever was in a rubber room, I'd hope some friends would join me with some moon boots and bouncy balls. Everyone deserves to be crazy, right?

There was no point of this post. I'll probably delete it tomorrow. For now though, I just needed to be heard. If anyone is out there, I'm giving you a big shout out and in a mom voice, "Get your buns in bed! It's a school night"

Happy "What day is it again?"
-Michele
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