-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Fly on the Wall: October 2014

Hey there!  Welcome to the October Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 12 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!



Why is your dame moving her lips?

All right, I don't WANT to chalk this up to living in Utah, but I just don't know anymore. If you look up feminism and our state in the news as of late, you're going to find some very passionate articles. Read a few if you get a chance and then we can discuss.

I know this doesn't happen EVERY where here, but I swear to you, I'm a magnet for sexism.

My current (actually, ongoing) issue is with salesmen. It doesn't matter if I'm buying an appliance, a car, or in today's instance, furniture. It always starts the same way. Without fail, the salesmen comes up to us, but only looks my husband in the eyes.
Salesman: (staring at Mark) "Can I help you folks with something?"
Mark: (pointing to me) "Well, we gave our living room furniture to our daughter, so we're looking for some new stuff."
Salesman: (to Mark) "Are you looking for anything in particular?"
Mark: (again, pointing to me). "I have no idea. Michele has done most of the research. I'm leaving it up to her."
Salesman: (rocking back and forth on his heels, with his hands in his pockets, he leans once again towards Mark) "Well, what does the little lady like?"

Sweet father of upholstery. What year is this? Will this man's short-sleeve shirt and clip-on tie begin to melt if he has to look at me? I could have been holding a huge wad of hundred dollar bills whilst pointing to a sofa and I'd bet that salesman would have slapped me on the behind and asked me to make him a drink. 

When the last salesperson saw the disgust in my eyes, he turned away from me and whispered to Mark in a, 'You poor man. You've got one of THOSE women..' faces and said in a singsong voice, "You know what they say! Happy Wife, Happy Life! "
If I had one of the man parts required to speak to these guys, I would have pulled it out and beat them with it. But then, I may have messed up my pretty dress.

Three furniture stores. Each out of huge sales. Each getting a letter to the highest ranking female I can find.

Long story short, we found our living room set at an out-of-the way non big-box furniture place. Mark sat down on a comfy sofa while I picked out what I wanted, arranged for the delivery and paid the bill. Guess what? My uterus didn't even fall out.


My cute new stuff.
Photo property of DownEast Home


Some things never change:
I was scanning over an article I had written for a friend's blog forever and a day ago. Life got in the way, so it didn't get posted. In it, I was listing 25 things I'm always nagging my children about. The funny thing is, the list still works today. ALL OF IT. 
SO, I'm sharing it.. Any month of the year, a FLY could hear me yelling saying these things: (If you visit this blog often, you'll already be somewhat familiar with the list.)

1. Did you brush your teeth today?
2. When was the last time you got in the shower?
3. Where are you going now?
4. When will you be home?
5. Who ate my candy bar?
6. How long have you actually had to finish the assignment that’s due tomorrow?
7. Will a how-to meeting help our family learn to replace toilet paper?
8. Why are you hoarding wet towels?
9. Where is your pillowcase?
10. Where are all of my forks?
11. Are you really going to wear that?
12. Where’s your jacket/scarf/coat/boots?
13. Can you tell me this story in 30 words or less?
14. What were you thinking?
15. Who hit who first?
16. Why did you say that to your brother?
17. Why did you do that to your sister?
18. Do I look pleased?
19. Do I care what your friends get to do?
20. Did anyone in the public witness this?
21. Did you say “Thank You”?
22. Did you say you were sorry?
23.  Where did you get THAT idea?
24. What is that smell?
25. For the love of all that is holy, WHY?

More quotes from random family members:

"Come to our house. If we're not crafting or eating, we're yelling. All of those things are fun to witness."

"If you're giving away the sofas, are they perhaps being accompanied by the side tables as well?"

"At the checkout I found a bag of Jolly Rancher Lolly pops. I was instantly disappointed. Who wouldn't name those things Jolly Pops? I would buy those in a heartbeat. I mean, I bought them any way, but I'd do it again with a smile on my face." 

"Are we ever going to eat the shrimp in the freezer or are they just going to become one with the ice?"

"I'm not here to say 'Hi', I just need a fork."

"Send that sleep-machine back. The white noise sound makes me think that someone's going to tell CarolAnn to stay away from the light."

"Sure mom. We promise to help clean-up after 'craft night'."
Mmm hmm.
They didn't keep their promise. The project coming together here will be in a new post on Tuesday. Stop by to check it out :)


Go visit the other crazy kids participating in the October Fly :)
Happy Friday, Friends!


Baking in a Tornado                          
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Just a Little Nutty                                
The Momisodes                                          
Spatulas on Parade                          
The Sadder But Wiser Girl                                   
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                 
Menopausal Mother                          
Battered Hope                            
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                         
Someone Else's Genius                
Crumpets and Bollocks               

24 comments:

  1. Cute post! I can definitely agree with those 25 quotes, and I know that I got the chance to hear every one of them. ;) can't wait to see your cute Halloween craft! Crafts+ food= Marriott's ;)
    Love you,
    A

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those twenty five things flew off my fingers. Haha. I'll have to do another post where you're answering the questions again. Thanks for coming over and helping with those crafts. We're not quite the cosmopolitan women I'd hoped we'd be... Bring on the glitter. I can't believe you didn't have anything to say about that furniture experience.

      Delete
  2. In all fairness to those salesmen, I do look like I'm the talker type so that could be part of the reason they talk to me. :) I would like to see their reaction if you were holding a wad of money. Maybe next time I should pretend that I can't talk and then see if they talk to you.

    As for "the list", I see a great opportunity for a game of "Mom Bingo". We'll fill in a board with all your questions and see who can get "Mom Bingo" first. Now we just need to figure out what the prize should be (maybe a set of side tables so Mom can have more fun with furniture salesman.)

    Love you (and if I was a salesman, I'd talk to you).
    -M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The story would be so much more funny if people really knew how little you speak. Thanks for not acting too mortified during the experience. I know how thankful you are that I don't own a concealed weapon. ;P
      Mom Bingo sounds fun, but every one would win too quickly.
      If you're a salesman, please respect all people who come to buy your things...except for the short-sleevers. I'm calling them that now. I'm also throwing away all of your short sleeved shirts. <3

      Delete
  3. I once went to buy a new car, this is way before I was married, and a friend came along with me. The friend happened to be male. The salesman would not talk to me, kept talking to my friend even though we made it clear that I was the one buying a car. I refused to buy there.
    I LOVE your 25 things you say in a month. I do want to hear the story behind more than a few of them. Perhaps you'll entertain me with an explanation post some time in the future?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your car story infuriates me. Why do people have to act like that? What part of customer service asks men to make sure their counterparts also have a penis? Ack. I'm getting old and grouchy, Karen.
      Ha the 25 things that could have been 250. I'm willing to share anything you need to know...
      Happy Friday <3

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  4. Oh, good lord. I can't believe those stupid salesmen. I'll bet women make at least 80% of the decisions with ANY purchase.
    And...I think we will have to be best friends now. That mess....that HOLY CRAP craft mess? It looks like something I could produce in one sitting with one hand tied behind my back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could tell Mark was getting nervous at the furniture stores. He's a really quiet person, but could tell that I was a few seconds short of becoming one of those people whose voice tends to get louder with injustice :)

      Craft mess? Oh yeah. Come on over and help me make one. I'm great at them. My sewing room, when I bake, when I paint...it's all the same. Chaos. :)

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  5. These salesmen would annoy the h*** out of me, too. They're not even just sexist, they're plain dumb.
    Yay for getting new furniture anyway!

    On your list: you do know the Mom song, right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9SARUZEBT0
    If you liked this, be sure to check out the Dad song as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYMGl48ADBk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll be sure to check them out, Tamara.
      I'm going to love my furniture twice as much because I wasn't dismissed while shopping for it :)
      Are you back from your trip??

      Delete
  6. I love all your family comments. OMG the sleep machine---dying laughing! Your list of 25 things----I say probably 20 of these to my teen on a daily basis. When will it ever end?!? Funny as always, Michele, I love your family!

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    1. Thanks, Marcia. I'm always glad to have you stop by :) I laughed when I reread that list from so long ago. Not one thing has changed :)
      <3

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  7. OMG!! Those salesmen would have gotten an ear full!! GRRR!!!! I don't mind being called honey or sweetie, I am in the south after all, but at least realize that I have a brain!!

    LOVE those quotes!!! TOO FUNNY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, Stacy. The sad part is, I half expect it. I think that's why I get so angry when it really happens. I have a bad habit of hating men who make me feel stupid. I might work on that.... but probably not.
      Thanks for the quote love :)

      Delete
  8. Love the new furniture and ...men don't get me started. I live in deep south GA and talk about sexist male chauvinist men...ugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dawn, I can't wait until the furniture arrives :)
      Men? Those men were glorified boys.

      Delete
  9. Loved the way you laid this post out -- Your description of the chauvinist salesman -- how did you keep your cool!!! What fun to have new furnishings and enjoyed the snippets of conversations among the family members

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    1. Carol, I kept my cool because I'd love to sit on my new furniture and not in a cold jail cell. LOL
      Thanks for your kind words. I love writing the Fly posts :)

      Delete
  10. Thank you for educating me. You have made me realize that I did it wrong. We bought Hunter furniture instead of giving him what we had and buying for ourselves. Won't make that mistake again. Luckily there are four more kids to go and I keep hoping one of them will move out, get married and let me hope to be a grandma one day. Thanks again for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The "G" word!! I'm still not ready ,Ann :)
      Yep, Alex is inheriting the older furniture. We still don't know how long we'll be staying in the house, so I wanted the chance to scale down. Lucky Hunter, though! You'll be rocking those new babies in no time :)

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  11. That salesman would have got a very stern talking to (by me) and if that didn't work, I'd kick him in the gnards. Ridiculous. I have that same problem when TBG and I go out together. With. Out. Fail. I wear the pants, dammit. :)

    My favorite line to use: Look at this face. What is this face telling you?

    I'd buy Jolly Pops, too. I eat this granola that's called Pomegranate Cherry Granola - I say, why didn't they just call it Cherry Pome-granola? Same thing, less letters.

    Love visiting your house, Shelly! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the kicking solution :) My poor husband, HE has always been okay with me wearing the pants. LOL
      Cherry Pomegranola sounds like a hit. Let's run with it.
      Love having you visit, Robin <3

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  12. Twinnie, I laughed WAY too hard at the salesman thing. My husband is a salesman and he makes it a point to included BOTH people. I trained him well. lol
    Love your family.....one day, I shall become adopted by you guys! But you'll have to share with Marcia..lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell your beautiful man to that he's doing the right thing including both customers :)
      Marcia, you and I will one day meet and have too much fun! <3

      Delete

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