-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Secret Subject Swap: 4/14 The Caffeine Story.

Happy April, friends!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 14 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:


You are Alice in "through the looking glass" (more commonly known as Alice in Wonderland) what type of land would you find? And how would you get out?


It was submitted by: the beautiful Dawn @ Spatulas on Parade 

My looking glass was in the dairy section of a grocery store. I was in a hurry to find my favorite coffee creamer. I searched among the shelves of milk, cottage cheese and sour cream.

I finally spotted the sweet treat. It was of course, the last one of its kind and was waaayyyyy back on a high shelf. I reached into the blowing air as far as I could when suddenly, I started to smell the delicious scent of coffee. I reached further and further in the refrigerator section until I found myself on the other side of the glass. 



I looked behind me wondering if I had broken the shelves. How else would I be on the other side? Was the Walmart manager going to scream at me? When I was able to focus, I noticed that I was NOT in the back storage area of a grocery. Instead, I was at an outdoor coffee party. What in the world??? What a beautiful sight. There was a soft breeze blowing along the yard. This must have been the place where the smell of coffee was coming from. I didn't remember getting invited to any party, but sure enough, there was a place setting for me. How curious!


The table was set for many more people than were seated. I could tell by the brown rings in some of the china cups, that many a creature had come before me to this same coffee gathering. As I sat down, I was handed samples of every kind of coffee imaginable. First, espresso. Then cappuccino. A latte followed a mocha; it went on for hours. Each smell, each taste, was pure heaven. Instead of feeling the familiar wakefulness, I started to feel sleepy. 





I thought I was imagining a ghost in the trees when a large dog came into sight. He had a clear smirk on his face. I wondered what he was up to. I watched as he jumped from the tree and landed softly on the grass. He was mumbling something I couldn't hear. 

When the dog came toward me from under the table, I swear I heard him say, "I've got you!" Had I lost my mind? He said it quietly at first. As he walked away from me, I could hear his voice become louder and louder. "I've got you! I've got you!"


I decided to stand my now-full body up and follow the dog. He looked back every-so-often, wearing that same silly smirk. I followed him for what seemed to be forever. When he finally stopped, I looked around at what was clearly a "wonderland." At least, MY kind of wonderland. Spinning around, I no longer could see the smirking canine. I could however, hear that loud voice..."I've got you!"


The voice eventually began to fade. I noticed a soft rain starting to fall. I'm not pulling your leg. It was raining...coffee! There was a babbling brook made of creamer and the tall trees were made of whipped cream. I didn't know where I was and I didn't care. Everything was marvelous. Had I died? Was this heaven? 


I took it all in, people. As much as I could. The aroma, the majestic view, and of course, the taste. I walked in a daze, drinking as much as possible. I stopped only when I saw the familiar dog appear in front of me. He was wearing that smirk and shaking his belly. I believed he was laughing at me. The voice began to emanate from the animal. "I've got you!" I heard.

"I've got you!"



"What in the world have you 'got'?" I asked.

The dog came closer. "You!, I've got you!" he laughed.
"I don't understand!" I yelled, feeling frustrated.
"Ha ha ha!" he continued, "This coffee. The party. This...place."
"What about it?" I asked
The dog looked into my eyes and spoke the most evil words ever. The words I would never have equated with this "wonderland."
His words rang into my ears until I couldn't hear anything else.

"This place. It's...DECAFFEINATED!"

"Nooooooooooooooo!" I screamed and fell to the floor. The room began to spin and I couldn't see anything. I closed my eyes wishing for everything to stop. At last, it did.

I opened my eyes to the sight of feet and wheels. Customer's feet and shopping carts. I must have passed out.




"I've got you." said a store worker as he stretched out his hand. I looked all around. I was terribly embarrassed, but then I began to focus past the customers and carts. About two aisles down, I saw it. There was a taste-test lady who was trying to sell hot coffee. There was a large sign warning children not to touch it. It was hot and full of caffeine. 

"Yeah, baby!" I shouted as I pulled myself up, grabbed that last bottle of creamer, and headed toward the angel selling hot, styrofoam cups of Joe. Heaven.


 Thanks, Dawn for the "wonderful" topic!

Baking in a Tornado                          
The Momisodes                                       
Stacy Sews and Schools              
Follow Me Home                       
Someone Else's Genius                        
Confessions of a part-time Working Mom                            
Dribbles and Grits                                
Impoverished Vegan                        
Spatulas on Parade                      
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                   
More that Cheese and Beer               
Evil Joy Speaks                    
Juicebox Confession                          
Climaxed                        

Enjoy the world through your looking glass, friends.
-Michele

Images property of shellybean and created by CJM                          

24 comments:

  1. LOLOL...OMG just too creative and funny, and it ended up being all decaf...what a horrible twist, LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Decaf! What kind of place was that, anyway? Thanks for stopping by, Karen <3

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  2. *latches on to your leg* TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!
    I HATE when I go to get my favorite creamer and someone has had the audacity to take the last one. What the eff, man? I feel like they should have a special stock just for me.

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    Replies
    1. Right? I like trying the different flavors, but when I'm OUT of creamer, people need to get out of the way. Carmel Mocha Creamer for Sarah. Hey, I think I've seen that! LOL

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  3. Holy crap that was a ride. Sorry but...I love my caffeine. Great post. I really enjoyed it.

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    Replies
    1. Never apologize for the need of caffeine! I'm so glad you liked the post. :)

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  4. What an evil twist. Just when you think you are in heaven and it all turns out to be decaf. Hopefully scoring the last bottle of creamer and getting a free cup of joe gives you a little heaven on earth. Is there some meaning that the dog looks like Lila? Do you think she is out to trick you? I do see her give you a little bit of an evil look when you are pouring your coffee in the morning and she hasn't been feed yet but a trick of this magnitude seems a little over the top. Not to mention, you are seated at a table with a clown and we all know about your fear of clowns. Anyway, another great post and great illustrations! Keep it up! Love, M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need to share the fact that I need my creamer to our children. Who taught them to like coffee anyway? My stash is depleting quickly. BTW, You knew it was a fairy tale. I would never sit with a clown. Unless he could make a good carmel macchiato...
      Lila was my muse this time <3

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  5. i worked at starubucks for 7 years and consumed caffeine the whole time; i understand the caffeine need. also, i just love your little pictures! they are so great and add a great element to your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Matt. Caffeine is definitely a must have at our house. I do like it hot, though. No diet Coke or Iced coffee for me. My teenager does the drawings for me. I'm always laughing at what he comes up with after just a few requests.

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  6. Decaffeinated? What a cruel twist to such an amazing place. Good thing you came back.

    No one writes a funny story like you do. I'll miss you these next few months, but I hope they're filled with joy and smiles (and maybe a tear or two).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIght? It ended up being a nightmare. If it were a true wonderland, there would have been more chocolate and circus peanuts. :)
      I'll miss you too! Getting nervous, but I know it will all work out well.
      Love you, lady.

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  7. ROFLOL!! That was GREAT!!
    How awful would that be???? Most days I feel like I need a caffeine IV! Decaf?? I don't think so.....

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    Replies
    1. Caffeine IV. I say yes! In all honesty, I can drink coffee before I go to bed now. There's not enough Java love in the world for me :)

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  8. LOL that was awesome. I'll try to avoid falling into the walk-in coolers at Walmart. I bet if you did that somewhere else, there'd be caffeine involved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet Target has sturdier dairy cases. Probably with double the caffeine :)

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  9. Replies
    1. Always a plot twist in my world, Robin! Glad you enjoyed it :)

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  10. You know what you were describing as your coffee wonderland… is actually the regular introduction program within the Starbucks world! You can get a glimpse of it when you join a coffee tasting that sometimes is being held at a store. And they only give decaf to really nasty customers which you are not. So good luck! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WoooHoo! Sign this woman up :) I'll be extra nice for an extra shot or two. I live near a Starbucks in a town where coffee is looked down on. I always think it's amazing how cars are wrapped around that place every morning at 8. Mmmm coffee tasting...

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  11. Well... as I sit here reading your Post, enjoying my straight up black cup of coffee & smooth jazz, I can't help but think: I love her imagination & story telling skills. Outstanding!!! Very much enjoyed, Slu

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    Replies
    1. Straight up black- In real life, I love coffee that way too :) I'm so glad you stopped by. I have to get over to your blog ASAP. Thanks for your nice words and for the smiles :)
      MM

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  12. Replies
    1. Thank you, Dawn! I'm happy to see you here! Your cinnamon popcorn is getting made tomorrow night! <3

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