-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Use Your Words- TMI version 3/14

Hello, friends!



Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A TornadoThis is how it works: 12 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 


My words/ phrases are: 


dropping the ball ~ always needs reminding ~ bat(crap) crazy ~can you give me an amen sista?


They were submitted by: http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com  
    


About 7 years ago, I had a medical procedure done.
I know.
There was a time when I refused to talk on this blog about my health. I figured "eh." It's my blog and I trust my readers to laugh with me (not at me). Also, I'm pretty much guaranteeing that if you're having a bad day, this story will make you feel a bit better. When I feel down, I look back at this note and say, "Yeah. Today is not so bad." My mind always needs reminding that things could be worse. 
Sometimes a laugh can make all the difference. This is an e-mail I sent (pre-blog) to a few friends describing the procedure. If you're not one for TMI, you may need to stop right here. But, let's be honest. Saying that just makes you want to read on, right? 




Hi Girls!
Well, I'm a week out from surgery and still a little tired so I thought I'd send a quick update to let you know how things went. (SWELL, of course!)
I had an easy endoscopy (upper) on Thursday that went well. I have some gastritis and esophogitis (sp?), but thankfully no more polyps. (Insert here an advertisement for Prevacid, as that's what I'll be ingesting for, well, a very long time)Yeah! I won't have to have that procedure again. I just have to go back every three years for a colonoscopy. Hopefully, there will be a magic pill invented by then,that will not make me so..um..painfully empty.

On Friday, we went to the surgical center for the- girly stuff. I went in fully knowing that the doctor would perform an ablation and diagnostic laparascopy. We even talked about removing one of the cystic ovaries on my right side due to pelvic pain and ultrasound results. 

So let's see- I somehow feel as though I should put this into verse- kind of like the "Twelve days of Christmas".... Come on, hum it with me...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
Well, you STILL have both your ovaries...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
you have stage 4 endometriosis,
but you still have both your ovaries...

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me (humor me, ok?)
one of your tubaligation clips fell off
and has been floating in your pelvis,
BUT you still have both ovaries!

In the hours after surgery my husband said to me...
Big breath now-
The doctor removed a lot of endo-
and a very large cyst,
he removed the floating clip,
and took a lot of pictures...
(I know this sounds bat-crap crazy, but it DOES get worse)…

"The doctors, dropping the ball."

oh, and when he did the ablation, you had a puffy cervix, the tubes somehow came off and now you have second degree burns all over your legs and va-jay-jay, BTW, do you think they have a vending machine in here? BUT....
get ready for it....
you get to keep both your ovaries!

"Do you have change for a dollar? -The man


Scorecard-
4, yes 4 needle holes. (couldn't get that big ol' I.V. in those little veins without a fight!)
2, Only 2 laparascopic belly scars- I will wear them with as much pride as the still glowing stretch marks..
A little bit of-( if a little is like a flowing river rapid)  discharge. Yes, I know. You could have lived without knowing it. But since I get to live it, you get to read it.
A whole lot of cramping. Thank you Percocet and thank you Jesus for letting it be invented.
1 mother-in-law who took my kids for two straight days! 
A big ol' bottle of lidocaine for aforementioned va-jay-jay.
A bit of nausea and a lot of fatigue.
One very nervous gyno who swears on his life that this is only the second time in about 400 procedures where someone was burned by the ablation (boiling water). He said it was due to my very loose cervix. (Insert your own joke here)

I know it was an accident. He really was sorry.

Benefits from this experience-

The clip was probably causing a lot of the pain, and is now removed.
The endometriosis was everywhere and is mostly burned away. For now. Doc is sure it will come back. Did you know it can grow into your tissue and even on your lungs? I will eventually have to have the hysterectomy unless I can hold out til menopause. (I hear a challenge…)
I will no longer..(Can you give me an Amen, sista?)..have ANOTHER period again. 

Anywhoo, I go back again in 9 days to revisit (we went yesterday) the gyno. We will then see if I have to have anything else done right away from the burn. I hope to talk him into giving me a copy of the surgery pictures as I'm sure they will make one hell of an awesome scrapbook!  Christmas cards, perhaps?

I miss all of you and I know this was long- but if you are still reading this, you really didn't have more pressing things to do, did you?

Take care of yourselves (I would like the attention to myself for awhile...)

All my love goes out to each of you.
Be strong, Love shel

             
Thanks for the phrases, Joy!

Comics drawn by CMJ (without reading the post.)


Check out the other participants in today's Use Your Words Challenge!

Baking in a Tornado                   
Follow Me Home              
Confessions of a part-time working mom              
Spatulas on Parade                       
Someone Else's Genius                      
Battered Hope                      
Healing Tomato                       
Superior Nonsense                   
Rocks, No Salt Mommy               
Evil Joy Speaks              
Stacey Sews and Schools             
The Bergham's Life Chronicles               


25 comments:

  1. Great story, doctor sucks, made me laugh and I can relate sadly enough to the TMI issues.
    Spatulas On Parade

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Although I'm sad you have/had similar issues, I'm happy that someone can relate. That particular year was an epic fail all around.

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  2. Oh man, and what's the moral of this story...? Doctors are human beings, too?
    Thanks to George Clooney aka Dr Ross and his friends I understood SOME of the medical terms you used.
    Anyway, that's one hell of a post you created from those expressions. WTG :-)
    So when is happy hour at tent city?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um, Dr. Ross would have done an amazing job, I would have danced out of that building with my fully fed husband if he (Dr. Ross) were in charge. Let's ponder on George for a moment, shall we?….
      Have you heard the expression, "It's five o'clock somewhere?" Same thing for Tent City. All are welcome and bouncy balls are encouraged. I'm a full time member. ;)

      Delete
    2. Actually if I needed a medical procedure done, I'd probably choose Mark Green. But for hospital happy hour, bring on Doug Ross!!
      I have definitely heard that expression, and with the time difference between Utah and Switzerland, one of us can always be happy :-)

      Delete
    3. Mark Green was definitely more responsible. The episode with the little girl begging hime to save her mom about killed me.... Good to know one of us will always be protected by the tent city. :)

      Delete
  3. Second time reading this and it still breaks my heart. You've been through so much, you continue to go through so much and yet you still have your sense of humor. I wish I could make it all go away for you. Except the sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen, you have been so amazing to me. I loved that I could share that kind of stuff with you (and more) and you never judged me. I'm so grateful for our friendship. I will keep the sense of humor- I may need to use it on orderlies some day :)

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  4. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!!
    Major kudos to you for turning something awful into this amazing post!!! You are brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Stacy! You are always so kind. Glad you got all the way through it <3

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  5. I'm so glad that you can find the humor in a crappy situation. There are too many people that can't. Thank you for sharing very TMI moment with us... it keeps things in perspective. :) And my condolences to your va-jay-jay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can I tell you how much the va-jay-jay appreciates your condolences? There simply isn't a Hallmark card for that sort of thing...

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  6. OMG I had no idea you went through all of this! Holy crap, woman! That is a nightmare, but I gotta say--I'm totally impressed that you can find humor in the situation. Your "song" and illustrations were AWESOME!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Marcia. Hey, I made it to Menopause! Put that in the win column for challenges :) Thanks for humming along to my song. It was so hard to explain the picture I wanted to my son. This kind of TMI is truly mom-TMI :)

      Delete
  7. Wow... All I can say is Wow!!! Maybe a Yikes!!! times 1,000 or so.

    I truly hope with all my heart you never stop Smiling. Good, Bad, or somewhere in the Middle, you find a way to put a positive, entertaining spin on things and it is to "our" delight that we get to experience your 'words' in such a beautiful way.

    Hang tough, Slu (with much love to you and yours)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you Slu. Finding close friends in the blogosphere has kept me smiling. Your comments are always so welcomed.
      We're accepting that love. Right back at you and D.
      -MM

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  8. And to think I almost stopped reading at the TMI warning. I guess I say "Yes, I remember" a lot, huh? With all the vending machines out there to remind me how could I ever forget now? By the way, my fat arm doesn't have a chance of reaching anything inside, not that I haven't tried a time or two.

    You really have been through a lot and I'm glad your sense of humor is still intact. It does put things in perspective when we talk about having a bad day over much smaller things. It reminds me of how strong you really are and how proud I am of you. Another great post and great pics! Love, M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wouldn't your world have spun differently without all that TMI? You gave me an idea. We need a vending machine in the house. No cash, no treats. Except that I will hold the key. Free M&Ms. That was in our pre-nip, right?
      Thanks for always taking the time to be one of my commenters. You (and my awesome sense of humor) make MY world spin around. Love you.

      Delete
  9. I am a firm believer that humor can get you through most trauma. You did an excellent job of painting the word picture, sharing the pain and expressing it light heartedly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Humor is definitely a gift given by the Lord. I can't imagine life without it or my faith. Thank you for reading :)

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  10. Perfect! Just had an ablation this week. Glad there were no burns where there shouldn't have been in my case. BTW, your illustrator rocks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ann, I can't believe you had one! I hope it all went well. My girlfriend had one and went to dinner with us that night. I can't believe the levels of pain we can all deal with. I keep thinking...I had three babies..how was this so awful? Glad it all worked out for you. Chris says thanks :)

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  11. YOU are my hero, girl. To go through so much, and still have a sense of humor about it is remarkable. To share it is amazing and brave. You are a true vision of hope and strength... I want to be you when I grow up. xxoo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know how much I love you and how I count so much of my bravery to you. I'm so glad we are friends.. I so hope you can visit me soon.It would be so good for my soul <3

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