-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Fly On The Wall: January 2014

Hey there!  Welcome to the January Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 20)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 9)
Henry and Lila- The dogs

Happy Birthday to yooooooooou. Ugh!:

My poor husband. His birthday is the last day of the year. By that time, we are all sick of wishing and singing and wrapping anything.  On one hand, even he is tired of it all. On the other, it is New Year's Eve. We usually spend the evening hosting friends and celebrating with the family. It's always a lot of fun. This year, however, he was turning 40. (This is where the fly on the wall has to follow along.)
To celebrate, I invited our friends on a trip across the state line. Yes, we are rebels. There are casinos and restaurants in the great state of Nevada. It's very grown up. Our friends have 3 children as well, so we love to get away every now and then and have a good time. It was packed this visit (New Year's Eve). The men were playing on the tables and my friend and I were betting big on the penny machines. Being the wild kids we are, we all ended up playing UNO in our hotel room. That ball seems to drop later and later every year. Our friends ended up leaving at 12:01. We are old.
The man's birthday was over. I could tell he had fun. The rest of the "romantic" night went something like this.
Me: "Honey…I have something for you." I reach deep into my tote bag and pull out a huge…bag of Chex mix.
The Man: "No you did not! Have they been opened yet? The little pieces are intact?"
I nod and reach further into my bag.
Me: "I also brought…Red Vines. Still fresh and untouched."
His smile is bigger.
I finally help him undress and push him on the bed. He backs up to the pillows with the Chex mix in one hand and the Licorice in the other. I lean over and softly whisper into his ear..
Me "My final gift? You get this whole bed to yourself." I jump onto the other bed and curl up.
No dog hair. No blanket hogging. No kids interrupting his snores. One night. One whole night!
Best. Birthday. Ever.


The truth and nothing but the truth:

I moved some pantry items into a glass-fronted cabinet.
A.: "Wow. When you look at it that way, we seem unhealthy"
The truth: We are unhealthy.

J.: "Look at all of that frosting! There's a bunch of flavors. Mom, didn't we buy a chocolate kind?"
I shrug.
The truth: Some nights are hard. A tub of frosting and a good novel can do wonders for a girl's sanity.

C.: "Mom, how did you get that nasty bruise on your leg?"
Me: "Hmm. I'm not sure. You know how I'm always bumping into things. Maybe I did it during yoga."
The truth: I bumped hard into the dresser while running across the room. The man had just come through the door announcing it was "Dunkin Donut Wednesday."

The doctor: (at my latest appt.) "Hmm. Your weight is down. Have you changed your diet? Your activities?"
Me: (shaking my head) "Nope. Not one thing."
The truth: It's inexplicable. Maybe it's yoga. And Dunkin Donut Wednesday. Bending, frosting and books. Hey, I found a lifestyle change worth sticking to!
Downward facing dog.


I don't know 'bout birthin' no babies!:

Me: (sitting straight up,in the middle of the night) "OMG! My water just broke!"
The Man: (sitting up just as fast) "What???"
We both get up and find that Henry has emptied out his whole bladder on the bed and apparently, me.
The Man: "I don't know whether to scream at Henry or hug him."
Me: (changing out of my soaked pajamas) "For all that is holy, I'm not having a baby! Give that dog a steak!"
***
J: "Mom, I have to talk to you. I was talking to (so and so) and they told me about... sex."
Me: (heaving and choking and ready to kill someone) "What do you mean? Like whether we are male and female? Boy or girl? That's what sex is. That's what you're asking, right? (my voice has hit every octave by now.)
J: "No." (looking flushed) "She told me about when a man and a woman sleep in a bed together…"
Me: "Is it hot in here? Did you hear the doorbell? Have you seen my inhaler?"
J: "You said I could ask you anything. I just want to know where the baby comes from after that."
Me: (Counting to ten. Who is the child poisoning my little boy with this stuff? Wasn't I just yelling at my baby to put away his Lego undies?) I think and breathe, breathe and think.
"That is a really good question. I've been wondering that myself. Let's ask Dad when he comes home."
It's called co-parenting people. I can only do so much.

My babies
Future jobs for my family:

Based on scientific research, i.e., our running mouths:

The Man: "Do you want to go to the beach?"
Me: "We can't. We have a wedding to plan for."
The Man: "We need to get away."
Me: "What about your job?  I know things have been up in the air…"
The Man: "I want to go."
Me: "But I just super-sized these french fries!"
The Man: "Do you want to go or not?"
Me: "I guess so. He## yes, I want to go!"
Future Job: The man and I? Homeless, happy beach bums.

A. (fighting with her brother) "I couldn't care less about that story if I were fast asleep."
Future Job: Supreme Court Judge

C. (Fighting with his brother) "I'm tired of you asking all of those questions. All of the answers you need can be found on the internet. When you don't use the computer it's like saying Steve Jobs lived and died for nothing."
Future Job: Motivational Speaker

J. (getting ready for school) "Where is that yellow pencil? The one with the #2 on it? Once you sharpen them they last for a really long time. I need to find that pencil."
Future Job: SAT and ACT tester (pencil hander-outer)

Finally, Some Random Quotes:

C. to me: "Great, mom. You moved dad's leather chair into your bedroom. Now, we'll never see him."

J. to me: "Of course you have nice handwriting. You've been doing cursive for 99 years!"

J. to the man: "What do you say we make it a FIVE day weekend?"

A. to her fiance': "Do these pants make me look fat? (he shakes his head no). Why? Do you think I'm skinny? Don't you like my big butt? (he says he does.) So. You think I have a big butt?" Let the games begin.

Me to anyone who will listen: "Yes, we're having a wedding. Yes, It's in August. Yes, she is ready. Yes, we love him. No, she is not going to have a baby. Yes, she is finishing her degree. Yes, I would love if she'd stay down the hall from me forever. No, I haven't stopped crying. Yes, I do have my therapist AND my pharmacist booked solid for the two weeks prior to and after the wedding."

My baby girl is getting married. Help me.


Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...


Baking in a Tornado                          
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Just a Little Nutty                          
The Momisodes                                       
Spatulas on Parade                           
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                   
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                  
Searching for Sanity                           
The Lazy Mom's Cooking Blog                       
Menopausal Mother                             
Victory Rose                       
Pink Heart String                                  
Spinster Snacks      

Happy Friday, friends.
-Michele                            

34 comments:

  1. Freaking hormones, twinnie! I totally just started crying!!! All I can say to the future hubs is "Welcome to being married, my friend......" (this is in response to the butt convo). I hope he's being well coached. Congrats on gaining a son-in-law.....I'll be there crying with you in spirit.

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    Replies
    1. Freaking hormones is right, girl. I can't stop crying or pouting. The daughter is training him, for sure. I told her that good husbands don't come out of the box that way :) Keep crying with me. I'll need the support :)

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  2. I love that you shared so many pictures with this post. You and you family are so beautiful. I think I should join you and your hubs when you become homeless beach bums…hey, I live right by the beach, so why not? Congrats on the upcoming wedding!! I know I'll be dealing with that any day now….but WOW does that make me feel so old…..

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Marcia; please come visit me when I live in a tent! Bring the icy-cold drinks :) Living on a beach sounds so good when I'm looking out at the smoggy, cold ;(
      Lots of wedding plans. The good thing is that I'll have to force myself to be organized for the next few months :) I DO feel old!

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  3. I can't stop giggling at your co-parenting skills.

    That beautiful picture of "A" gives me chills.

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    1. When I look at that photo of A., all I do is see the little girl in the first picture. Toddlers haven't any business in wedding dresses! My co-parenting skills come in handy like that sometimes :)

      Delete
  4. Oh, wow. I certainly won't let my husband read this post. You treat your hubby so well...what a birthday!!
    So much to love in this post, I'd pretty much be just repeating the whole thing. I did get a BIG kick out of the "Future Job" bit. Your writing is just wonderful.
    Just one criticism: did you HAVE to tell us about all the yummy junk you ate and then admit you lost weight? Sheesh. So.Not.Fair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lorinda, The man. His birthday. Did you read? I got to hang out with my best gal pal and have a whole bed to myself! It was his day, but I had a blast!!!
      I love that you enjoyed the post. Trust me. There were many years where losing weight was a great thing. I'm just going through some health issues where losing isn't the best. Trust me, it will pass and I will be back and blaming celery sticks for making me gain.
      Happy Friday, beautiful lady!

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  5. Love this SO MUCH!!

    HUGS for the future wedding!!!! Happy and sad all in one.
    And her fiance doesn't stand a chance! LOL ;)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Stacy. The fiancé already calls me "mama Bear". That lets me know that at least he's on track to be part of a family with strong women. Ha!
      It is bittersweet. Thanks for the hugs. I'll need them! <3

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  6. Congratulations!!!
    What wonderful happy news!
    The picture of the dress is amazing.
    Happy Belated Best Birthday Ever, The Man!!
    What a year it shall be. <3

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Meg. The dress is beautiful; at least I think it is (through my tears!). The man will definitely thank you for the birthday wishes. Cheers to many happy Fly on the Walls :)
      <3

      Delete
  7. Chex mix, licorice and a bed to himself?? If that's not spoiling a man I don't know what is.
    I love the wedding dress photo, that's so sweet (and just a little bit sad that your little girl is growing up.)
    And dogs peeing on the bed is exactly why my old Kelpie used to get kicked into the laundry at night.

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    Replies
    1. He is spoiled! I'm going to let him realize how lucky he was by making him read my whole post…twice. :) Henry has been banned to the floor for a while. It's hard to hear him wimper, but I know it's for the best.
      My daughter is all grown up, but I'm still not ready ;(

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  8. That is a heck of a dress! Wow!
    My little dog peed in my bed after I first got her. We had a long talk... I still don't totally trust her but it has not happened again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was the first dress she tried on. When I saw her in it, I cried.
      I'm glad to hear about your dog. I'm hoping Henry will learn and then be able to get back in bed. He helps keep my feet warm! :)

      Delete
  9. You had me at Chex Mix. Thanks again for a great 40th B-Day bash. I've noticed a lot of running on Donut Wednesday, so you're not the only one. I guess Henry's ban from the bed is over since he is curled up in a ball next to me right now. Yes, our baby girl is all grown up. Thanks for all the great pics - another humorous post! Love ya! -M

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    1. Sounds like a perfect birthday, Mark. Hope all your wishes came true, sweetie!

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  10. Little freaked out by that last picture.

    Thanks for making me smile as well.

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    1. Tell me about it Ann. Weren't we just driving the kids to tap class? I'm always glad to have you stop by <3

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  11. There is no way you are old enough to have children that are getting married, you being 21 and all (and looking it too)...

    I smiled all the way through this post, because I always feel at home reading about your family. :-D

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    1. God Bless you, lady. I feel like I could have great, great grandchildren some days! I'm glad you feel at home reading the blog. I can't think of a better compliment :)

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  12. I LOVE the birthday post. I SO get that! Having the bed all to yourself...aaaahhhhhh. And "The little pieces are intact?" cracked me up so hard. My boys and I love Chex, and I feel the same way about the little pieces!

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    1. It's the little things, isn't it? My youngest always eats the little rye bread ovals out of the Chex and my daughter eats all of the pretzels. Pretty much left with just cereal after that :)

      Delete
  13. Oh.... SO many thoughts and feels...
    What a lovely birthday/New Year's Eve! What an adorable couple. )I went to bed early that night. I'm a traditionalist... only face the New Year if you have someone to kiss. Sigh...) Beach bums... yes!!! I keep telling you... you two belong somewhere warm, and I should be your crazy neighbor. :) I must remember to add Dunkin Donut Wednesdays, frosting, licorice, and yoga to weight loss plan. :) Love C., "When you don't use the computer it's like saying Steve Jobs lived and died for nothing." I laughed so hard, I cried. Would have loved to have seen your face when J., your baby, brought up the topic of sex. Oh, my.... And, A. asking her man if her butt looks big... did she learn this from you? :) Somehow, I can see you teasing The Man this way. And, oh, seeing A. in that dress... oh my, oh my, oh my... All I could think of was walking into your room in Ypsi, seeing that cradle, and that smile on your face. My, we've come a long way, my beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your family, again. Especially, this time with the wonderful photos of your amazing clan. Can't tell you how much it means to me. Love you and miss you to the moon and back, girl...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You know, Stacy, we have been known to celebrate New Years Eve on Michigan time. 10:00 is pretty late for us :) Beach bums. There's just something about hearing the water…We'd love to have yo as our crazy neighbor, but then you'd be taking our title!
      We have come a long way. You always come to mind when I think of those days when Mark and I were just starting out. I was so lucky to have you there. Love you, Stace.

      Delete
  14. Pencil Hander-Outer sounds like a cool job. Lots of vacation time, too - I say go for it, J!

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    1. Absolutely! I can just hear the click clack of the pencils in his hand. He's very anti-mechanical pencil. I think he was born in the wrong decade...

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  15. You just gotta know I'm diggin' the WHOLE Birthday Story!!!
    The Wedding??? Don't stress... Have FUN with it and Enjoy.
    Enjoyed, as usual, all the rest. Love FOTW!!!

    Congrats on so many levels... Take care, Slu

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    1. I'm so glad, Slu. No stressing for the wedding, right? (Arg!!) Glad you stopped by. Can't wait for your review of the Superbowl. I'm going with the Broncos. The man has the Seahawks. As usual, it should be fun :)
      Smiling, man.
      -MM

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    2. The Super Bowl... YIKES-OLA!!! Was rooting for Denver. Ashamed!!! That said:

      My Black Bean & Corn Salad (with Cilantro, Lime Juice, Red Onion, Jalapeno, Tomato, & Chives) was a Hit with everybody. :-)

      How can you not tip your hat to Seattle??? WOW!!! One Hell of a Performance. Scary Good!!! Bet My Man was Smiling.

      But, moving forward, we have the 1st pick in the Draft and we are "On the Clock" as they say.

      Have a great week, Slu

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    3. What a blow out. No words.
      Your salad sounds like it made everything okay. For me, halftime was totally worth sticking through it. Love Bruno.
      The man was as happy as could be. Seattle really did deserve every accolade. I think Peyton will find his way back. Millions of dollars helps that way. :) @draft: good luck. I guess what we needed the most was a new coach, so at least there's that.
      Cheers to the both of us: We are undefeated once again!
      Smiles-
      MM

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  16. Her in that wedding dress...ugh! She is going to be the most beautiful bride there ever was.

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    1. Thanks, Kimmi. I'm pretty excited about the day. I just kind of wish it was over. Stress already of all the cooks in the kitchen.

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