-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Funny Friday: December 2014



December Funny Friday

Today’s post is November’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.


Here’s today’s picture. It's brought to us by the wonderful Stacy@Stacy Sews and Schools.
Here are my five captions:

1. "I was fighting with my brother. When he started teasing me, I said, "Hey. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry! Then BAM. I woke up just like this."

2. "You should see the other guy. You don't just take someone's pudding pack and get away with it."

3. "Someone called me a cheesehead. Once."

4. "Honestly, it's been a long night of coloring and X-box. I'm exhausted, adorable, and I wouldn't totally be against you grabbing me a pop tart or something."

5. "Just take the picture, mom. Then I'm putting on my Detroit Jersey. Go Lions!!!"

Happy Holiday Weekend, friends :)
-Michele

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:




Friday, December 19, 2014

Fly on the Wall: December 2014

Hey there!  Welcome to the December Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 14 amazing bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
Alex, the eldest (daughter, 21) 
C., The middle (son, 16)
J., The youngest (son, 10)
Henry and Lila- The dogs

Making the Olive Garden all it can be:
Alex to the Man (both are breadstick lovers): "You know what they need, Dad? They need a buzzer. When we get to that last breadstick, when our hand just touches it, the waitstaff should hear a buzz."
The Man: "Yes! Once we lift the breadstick to our mouths, the buzzers should become louder and louder, like a warning signal."
J: "Yeah! They could give off electric shocks!
Alex: "Wow. That escalated quickly...But, it might just work."

Naiveté you say?
I went with the teenager to pick my youngest up from school. There were four kids in the in front of us and they were playing instruments. IN THE CAR!
Me to the teenager: "Isn't that the oddest thing? What kind of teens play clarinets in their car?"
My son: (rolling his eyes) "None. Mom. Those are NOT clarinets. Those are hookahs."
I looked it up. He was right. I'm 100 years old.

Christmas time is near:
After 10 years, I finally run out of wrapping paper. Now, my husband's Christmas present looks like he will be celebrating his sweet 16. Or his diamond anniversary.

***
Alex to me: "Mom, I really didn't think this through."
Me: "What?"
Alex: "Being married. I just realized I won't wake up here on Christmas morning! I don't know if I'm ready for that."
Me: "Well, you two are welcome to sleep overnight here on Christmas Eve."
Alex: (relieved) "Oh. Okay!"
Me: "Um, don't you want to talk it over with your husband, first?"
Alex: "Why?"
***
Go, you chicken fat, go away:

We changed the dog's vat-o-food bucket to tiny, individual bowls. We're feeding them twice a day and walking with them each morning. Poor Lila. She loves to walk. She loves the whole pomp and circumstance of getting her leash, putting her coat in her teeth, getting to the door, and heading out. First though, I have to put on her coat. Each time, I velcro the first piece around her neck and she pants at me like we're BFFs. It's not until I go to put the large velcro attachment around her belly that she looks away. Each time, it's still a bit taut. She won't make eye contact with me. It's like I'm not even in the room. Once on, Lila heads out the door like nothing shameful has happened. We have the same soul. Together, we're going to work on it.

Not related: New lesson learned: Don't stuff stockings with dog treats and expect the stockings to neatly stay in their place.
Lila: "I'm not ready to talk about my figure right now. I am willing to talk about bacon, though."
Henry felt left out of the photo session.

Finally:

A fly on the wall would have seen me beaming with pride over the people up in that photo. The kid in the plaid has been singing his heart out in his school choir. The girl in pink? She just put away another successful semester of college. The young man in the tux just finished his winter band concert and was elected president of his high school's MESA program. The man? He holds us all up. I've said it a million times, the accolades are awesome, but the fact that those people up there are kind, supportive AND hilarious? Well, that makes my world go 'round.

Happy holidays, friends  :)
-Michele

Fly on over and check out all of this month's participants:

Baking in a Tornado                          
Just a Little Nutty                                
The Momisodes                                          
Spatulas on Parade                          
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                   
Follow Me Home                           
Stacy Sews and Schools                 
Menopausal Mother                          
Battered Hope                            
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                 
Juicebox Confession                    
Risa Nye                                     
The Bergham's Life Chronicles               
Cluttered Genius                                    
              

Friday, December 12, 2014

Use Your Words: December 2014

Today’s post is a writing challenge created by Karen @ Baking in A TornadoThis is how it works: 11 participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, but there's a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who received their words or in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.


At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featured in this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they were given and how they used them. 
My words are: 

Elf ~ massacre ~ tinsel ~ but ~ bloody

They were submitted by: Stacy@http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/

Stacy was a participant in Tuesday's "Blog with Friends" Hop. She gave an adorable tutorial on how to make an Elf Hat and Shoes. Her project turned out so well, I decided to give it a try.

Stacy designed her elf patterns for her cute kids, but I made mine for, well, you know-who.





Now. Before you tell me what a bloody fool I am for dressing up my fur babies, you should know that I was preparing for pictures for Christmas Cards. (Oh, be grateful I didn't go with my first idea of dressing them as Christmas Trees, covered in tinsel.)


The elf costumes led to a conversation with my youngest about the story, "The Shoemaker's Elves." I explained how I sometimes wished the story were true; that elves would be able to complete all of the unfinished projects/jobs/chores we couldn't get to. 

"Would you want the elves to write your blog posts and sew your projects?" the youngest asked?

"Hmm. NO. I don't know. Maybe..." I answered.
"But what if that COULD happen?" he wondered aloud.
"Haha. Elves? In MY craft room? It already looks like a massacre took place in there. I think even mythical creatures would have to draw the line at the doorway of that hot mess. For safety's sake." I joked. "Unless the elves were working from their own homes... Yeah, that might work."

That idea led to this: We call it, "Outsourcing." 






I wonder if those elves know how to grocery shop and pay the electric bill...

Thanks for the words and the inspiration, Stacy :)


Happy Friday, my two and four-legged friends.

-Michele

Check out all the cool kids participating this week:

Baking in a Tornado                              
Spatulas on Parade                          
Follow Me Home                            
Battered Hope                                 
Stacy Sews and Schools                      
The Bergham's Life Chronicles                       
Evil Joy Speaks                        
Juicebox Confession                             
Eileen's Perpetually Busy                 
Confessions of a part-time working mom                         
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                                 


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Blog With Friends: December Edition!

Jolly Jinglers-UNITE!

Hello friends! Welcome to December's edition of "Blog With Friends!" We are 8 bloggers who've joined together to bring you some holiday love. There is something fun for everyone!
After my project, click on each blog post project title you'd like to visit. When you get to each blog, leave some comment love.  Everyone adores visitors. If you have a project you'd like to share, join in on our blog hop at the very end of the post. Happy Holidays, everyone!


First up, my Cloth Tree Tutorial:

An adorable teacher's aide taught me how to make these trees. They're easy enough for kids to make. Create them for gifts or holiday decor. (Thanks for the idea, Mary Lee!)


Materials:
  • 1/8 yard of holiday cotton fabric (any color.) I used various fat quarters. Scraps are perfect for this craft.
  • 6" square of fabric or brown craft paper for base
  • Ruler to measure fabric strips
  • Sticks or dowels for your tree. Any length you'd like. My sticks are about 10" long. The dowels are only 5".
  • Scissors for cutting fabric. I used regular and pinking shears.
  • Clay (for stabilizing tree.)
Optional:
  • glue
  • buttons
  • thin wire
  • string
  • pipe cleaners 
Warnings: 
Scissors are sharp; don't run with them.
Sticks are sharp; Don't use them as swords.
Little ones should be careful not to put buttons in their mouths.
Be safe, people.

1. Grab fabric and cut tiny 1/2 inch slits along the top of it. (with the grain) You can cut along these slits with regular scissors or pinking shears. Another fun way to get the strips is to simply tear down the length of the fabric. Kids love this. My strips were about 6-8 inches long. Cut at least 5 strips per inch of tree.

Here are examples of what the strips will look like (left to right) if torn, cut or pinked.

2. Starting about 1/4 of the way up the tree, tie a strip into a knot. Pull both strips to one side. Repeat above that knot with another. Pull those in the opposite direction. Each time, turn your strips away from each other. After the first two, tie the next knots and twist them in the opposite direction. Think of looking down on the tree as a clock. the first two strip ties go at 9 and 3. The second two will face 12 and 6. Repeat over and over until you reach the top of the tree. You can use shorter strips near the top. I just trim if needed.

3. After the strips are on the tree, use a ball of clay to keep it from falling over. The picture is just to show you how to stand it up. Save this step until after the strips are tied on.

4. Trace and cut out a circle larger than the base of your tree onto fabric or brown paper. 

5. Wrap around the base of your tree and tie with a string. You're done!!

 If you'd like, you can add a star to your tree using pipe cleaners or buttons. I strung mine with light weight wire and wrapped it around the top of my tree. 

 Also, you could glue assorted buttons to the fabric.

Here are a few examples of different trees I made.
A. Made on a paper towel roll. Glued buttons. Ornament star.
B. 5" dowel, sequined string base. Pinked Fabric. Angel button top.
C. Branch base, pipe cleaner star.
D. 4" dowel, star charm

If you make your own holiday tree, I'd love to see it! Any questions? You know what to do. Hit me up in the comment section WAAAAAAAY down at the end of this post :)

Don't forget to stop by the other "Jolly Jinglers" participating this month:

Lydia, of Cluttered Genius shows us how to make beautiful Twisted Paper Angels

Karen, from Baking in a Tornado has a recipe for her Incredible Edible Christmas Trees

Stacy, from Stacy Sews and Schools has created an adorable tutorial for Elf hats and shoes!

Melissa, from Home on Deranged shows us her High Tech Version of Affordable Stocking Stuffers.

Robin, from Someone Else's Genius has created a tutorial for her Simply Festive Wreath

Sarah, from The Momisodes has some Christmas Book Goodness to share!

Christy, from Uplifting Families shows us her Handprint Christmas Wreaths.

Link up your own holiday post idea below!



Happy Tuesday, Friends!

Friday, November 28, 2014

Funny Friday: November 2014

November Funny Friday


Today’s post is November’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.




Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by the hilarious Sarah@ The Momisodes.




1. " My eyes are up here, Harold."


2. "Tell me the truth. Is the animal print too much?"


3. "They're REAL and they are SPECTACULAR!"


4. "Yeah, I couldn't afford the matching bottoms."


5. "My size? DDD. Double. Dog. Dayum!"


Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:



Happy Friday, friends!
-Michele




Friday, November 21, 2014

Fly on the Wall- November 2014 The Unhealthy Version

Hey there!  Welcome to the November Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 15 amazing bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
Alex, the eldest (daughter, 21) 
C., The middle (son, 16)
J., The youngest (son, 10)
Henry and Lila- The dogs

*We were less than healthy this month. Though I joke, please know that I do feed my children real food. 

Trick-or Treat!

This year I had a zombie pirate and (because he had to have a costume for a band concert,) a cardboard spartan.

Someone that lives here said,: "I hope we don't have many trick-or-treaters."



 I'm Hungry!

C. : (texting sarcastically from work) "Things are on sale. All of these women are coming through with bags of potatoes and fruit and frozen turkeys...What's going on? Should you be doing this?"
Me: "Young son, those are the people that I tell you about before you go to bed. The ones who cook. We will be needing none of that."
C. : "Cake mix is on sale too."
Me: I'll be there in ten minutes."
***
Alex: (texting): "Apparently, people in the real world have to make their own sweets. Being an adult is not fun at all."
Me: "Come over here. I made a cinnamon cake last night and I'm the only one eating it."
Alex: "You are SO lucky."
Me: "This is why I miss you. No one gets excited about cake around here."
Alex: "It's because they don't know what it's like to go without it."
***
The man: (pretending to wipe his eye) "C. brought me a bucket of buttered popcorn from the movie theater. He just gets me."

Is it only at our house? (Quotes)

"Am I the only one having a problem with 6 empty cans of pop and a half-eaten loaf of french bread on the air-hockey table?"

"This time change is awful. Does anyone else want to go directly to bed after dinner?"

"The dogs are impatiently waiting at the dryer to get warm sweaters."

"There's enough dog hair in the lint catcher to make a small sweater...and I'm considering making one."

"Did you know you can stand in one room and see a Halloween pumpkin, a Thanksgiving branch AND a Christmas tree?"

"You know what's disturbing? You complain that I snore, yet the only setting on your sleep machine working for you is 'Trains'."

"You know life's going downhill when you ask for underwear and socks for Christmas."

Convos of the month:

Alex: (texting) "FIVE!"
Me: (confused) "dollar footlong?"
Alex: "The number of times I submitted my comment on your blog before it showed up."
Me: " Thanks for your unwillingness to give up."
Alex: "It's a good thing I love you. Copy and Paste and your blog go well together."
***
The man: "Did you get the results from the doctor yet?"
Me: "No... But..."
The Man: "But what?"
Me:  "She ordered 3 bags from my shop."
The Man: "Well THAT can't be good..."
*note- It was all good.

The youngest has a future in business:

He creates a soda drink menu and gives it to his brother.
Mountain Dew is 5 cents.
Mountain Dew is the middle child's favorite soda. He has braces, though, so he's not allowed to drink it without a straw.
He explains this to the youngest.
The youngest then flips over the menu.
Straws: 10.00


Don't forget to fly over to the other blogs participating this month:

Baking in a Tornado                          
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Just A Little Nutty                                
The Momisodes                                          
Spatulas on Parade                         
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                   
Follow Me Home                         
Stacy Sews and Schools                        
Menopausal Mother                          
Battered Hope                                 
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                         
Someone Else's Genius                    
Crumpets and Bollocks                     
Juicebox Confession                          
Risa Nye                                              
Go Mamma O                                   
Happy Friday, Friends
-Michele

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Blog With Friends: November 2014

Gobble Group 2014!!

Hello friends! Welcome to November's edition of "Blog With Friends!" We are 7 bloggers who've joined together to bring you some Turkey Day-love.
Some projects are tasty, some are crafty and some are techie; all are a lot of fun. After my project, click on each blog post project title you'd like to visit. When you get to each blog, say, "Gobble Gobble!"or "hello!' Just let them know you're there. Everyone loves visitors.

My November project: Make a Thankful tree.

"Thankful Tree" Tutorial

Materials:
  • Large Branch
  • Clear Vase (large enough to hold the branch)
  • Vase filler: acorns, small pumpkins, rocks, etc.  I used glass and paper acorns.
  • Leaves: I used glitter leaves from Michael's and die cut leaves from my friend. (Thanks, Char!) You can use real leaves (short term) or cut out your own paper ones.
  • Clips for hanging leaves. I used IKEA clips, but any kind will do.
  • Thread (for hanging smaller leaves)/ hole punch
  • Sharpies
  • Scissors
Add ons:
  • Bulbs
  • Twine
Warnings:
  • You're using a branch. Don't poke your eye out.
  • Sharpies can bleed through the leaves. Use paper underneath to protect your surfaces.

1. Grab a branch. Or pick a branch and have your son some one cut it down for you.

2. Find enough filler items for the vase to hold up the branch.

3. Make sure the vase won't tip.

4. Using a Sharpie, have your family fill out things they are thankful for. I used clips on the bottom of the large leaves, and thread for the lighter leaves.

 When you ask the man to help out, he will write that he's thankful for the dogs and for the Internet.

5. Hang them on your "tree".

6. I had fall-colored bulbs on hand. On each one, we wrote the name of family/friends that have passed away. It was a good time to reflect on how grateful we were to have had them in our lives. We tied the "remember ties" with twine, then hung them on the tree.

Here's a close-up of a bulb dedicated to my grandma.

7. Keep a basket near of extra leaves, clips, bulbs and sharpies. Family and guests can add to the tree whenever they want. Enjoy!


***
Be sure to check out the other cool-kids participating today:

Karen@ Baking in a Tornado has whipped up a Fried Walnut-Crusted Spice Cake with Caramel Sauce. This is a special holiday dessert taken to a whole new level.

Stacy@ Stacy Sews and Schools shows us how to make a Fun and Reversible Holiday Centerpiece Decor for your holiday table!


Melissa@Home on Deranged has some Tech Tips for Turkey Day. Her tips will show us how to let technology helping have a festive Thanksgiving!

Robin@ Someone Else's Genius gives us a tutorial for making her adorable Autumn Wreath.


Christy from Uplifting Families shows us how to create DIY Thanksgiving Textured Leaf Cards!

Lydia from Cluttered Genius has created a "Kid Friendly and Fancy Thanksgiving". These are Kid-friendly (and created) ideas for decorating your 'fancy' Thanksgiving table. 


Looking for these projects and more? Check out:
Gobble 'til you wobble, friends,
-Michele



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