-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Fly on the Wall Dec. 2013


Hey there!  Welcome to the December Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 15 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 20)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 9)

Since it's the end of the year, I decided to poll the family on a few holiday topics. Take a look at their responses. A few flies were probably swatted in the making of this post. No one takes much seriously around here, remember? Here are the highlights. 12 of them.  I left the low-lights for another post :)

1. What is your favorite thing about December?
A.:  "Being able to eat triple the amount of calories and still be socially acceptable."
C. : "Non-stop party food during the last 6 days of the month."
J. : "The animals come down the mountains to eat." :(
A family of deer eating left-overs from the neighbors' garden.


2. What is something that happened this month you'd rather forget about?
The man:  "Shoveling the heavy wet snow. Or listening to the neighbors shoveling their heavy, wet snow. At 5 am."
A.: "Getting my very deep wisdom teeth pulled. Actually, cut in, sliced open and chopped my teeth into bits. THEN getting them pulled."
C.: "The first 24 days…"

3. I've been redecorating the house to keep my sanity. What is your favorite improvement around the house?

The man: "Cookies everywhere!" (Not those kinds of changes, man.)
A. : "We finally turned the heat on." (Not that kind, either!)
C. : "We now have a drawer dedicated solely to paper plates and napkins." (My family hates me…)
J. :  "The color-coded library?" (Now you're talking! Even if it was created in an in-sane moment.)

OCD over Dewey Decimal, any day.

4. What is your biggest wish for 2014?
The man: "Getting healthier...Hey! Who ate the Chili-Cheese Fritos?"
A. : "To rock through school and have an awesome, stress-free wedding." (Yeah, more on that later.)
C. : "Infinite wishes and No More Nickelback. If I can only choose one, I say, 'No more Nickelback."
J. : "I already get an extra week off for Winter break. A. and C. have to go back before me. That's a good wish I didn't even ask for."

5. What advice would you give to yourself if you hadn't yet lived in the year 2013?

The man: "Don't ask what 'Twerking' is…"
A.: " Keep your wisdom teeth. All four of them. And get snow tires…"
C. : "The lottery numbers for the December Powerball are…"
J. : "Read the WHOLE book, especially if your mom already read it."

6. What has been your favorite food this month?

The man: "Steak from our Christmas party." (What?)
A. : "The sharp cheddar cheese you bought from Costco. (Really?)
C. : "Leftovers from Thanksgiving. We really need to clean out the fridge." (Wow.)
J. : "Grandma took me to the mall and I had a really good soft pretzel." (Everyone nods in agreement that the mall's pretzels are indeed, delicious.)

Fine, then. My favorite food was what my friend calls "Manna from Heaven." Homemade cinnamon tortillas over vanilla bean ice-cream. It's all drenched in a vanilla custard. It's made at one of our favorite restaurants. When I finish this post, I'm going to have one. So there, family. Enjoy your Ramen.

7. What is your favorite thing to wear in winter? aka What am I always nagging you to pick up?
The man: "My wet winter boots. Where am I supposed to put them? They can't dry in the closet!"
A. : "Ten layers of food fat for hibernation".
C. : "A smile." ( help me)
J. : "My wet winter boots. Where am I supposed to put them?" (Yeah, he has no alternatives.)

8. When did I last yell at you?
The man and J. : "Um, wet boots. Remember?"
A. : "Cleaning up the living room when I've just had my wisdom teeth pulled."
C. : (Waiting for a hand-out) "You've never yelled at me, Dear Mummy." (Ack.)

9. So far, we've watched a lot of holiday movies. Which one has been your favorite?
The man AND J. : "Elf. We are going to keep watching until we can burp that long."
A. "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It gives me hope that my brother's heart might grow three sizes one day."
C. : "The Grinch cartoon; mostly for the horrifying faces."

10. You are baking cookies with me. What song is playing in the background?
The man: "On the radio? Anything by Mannheim Steamroller; just to watch you cringe."
A. :" Jingle Bell Rock. I WILL teach you that dance from Mean Girls."
C. : "Total Eclipse of the Heart. The one with the musical styling of Santa." (Does not exist. I looked)
J.: "Little Drummer Boy. That kid has a good beat." (Rum pa pa pummm)

11. If there WAS a fly on your bedroom wall, what would it see?
The Man: "Me, trying to get out of bed without waking up an insomniac or her two snoring dogs…"
A. : "It would hear the nonsense I was speaking after the wisdom teeth debacle. It would see partially eaten meals, and unmade bed, remnants of anxiety from finals week and a few clothes on the floor." (Cue the tumble weed rolling in her closets with hangers blowing in the wind…)
C. : "A fly on the wall would hear the soft weeping that comes after I jump from my loft bed on to J.'s LEGOs.  BTW, Can we talk about me getting my own room?"
J. "It would see all of my LEGOs. Mom, they are out for a reason. Each pile is a project I'm working on. Is there any way we could get a wall between our beds?" (Nice try.)

12.  Finally, here are a few funny comments I heard this month:

Me: Are we going to put up lights this year? It's a beautiful day.
The man: I'm not sure. It's getting late…
Me: But all of the neighbors have lights. We will look like we don't belong.
(His head turns sideways at me.)
Me: Ok, so we don't belong. Can we still put up the lights? I'll help…
The man: (In a parental voice) If the neighbors jumped off their roofs, would you?
Me: He** yes I would, If I had the right sled and…
The man: …if we had lights?
My first husband rocks, people.
***


The man: "Can we park your car in the shed? I bet it will fit. How about the back patio?" (Whodawhattahowda?)
A. : "Mom moved all the dishes and food around. Again. I can't find anything, I'm hungry and I feel like a tourist from another country. Is it too much to ask where the peanut butter is?"
C. : "Are you going downstairs or to the down-down stairs? I need to print my paper. Will you get it for me? I have to go upstairs to get my music book. If you go down-down stairs, will you grab it? Text me if you grab the paper."
J.: (talking to the soon to be son-in-law) "Let me smell your hand. Ooh, it smells like lotion." J. lifts his arm to show his bare armpit. "Here, smell me. You know what that is? THAT is the smell of a man."(Welcome to the family Mr. S. You're finally one of us.)

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                     
Just a Little Nutty                                
Follow Me Home                          
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              
Menopausal Mother                                 
The Momisodes                            
Spatulas on Parade                      
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others                       
Juicebox Confession                            
Writer B is Me                                
Dates to Diapers                        
Kiss My List                                             
Moms Don't Say That                                        
                       
Happy Holidays, my friends. Whether you're celebrating with a huge group, a small family, or just trying to find happy memories from years past, I wish for you a beautiful new year. I hope its filled with light that blinds your eyes from the bad in the world. I hope your heart is so full of love and extras, that you will want to share it with strangers. For myself, I hope to get back to this blog so that I too, can share in these things with some of my very favorite bloggers. Any way you celebrate this year, smile for all of the knowledge we've gained from each other and share it with someone new. I love each and every one of the people that take the time to read my very silly blog. Peace, happiness and Dark Chocolate to you and yours,
Love Michele 

Friday, December 6, 2013

Secret Subject Swap- December 2013

Hello, December!!. Ugh. We are still munching on leftovers! The tree is up and we are ready (not really) for snow. Hey, we did make it to December 4th before turning on the heat. That's pretty good by any measure. I hope you are all keeping cozy! For now, it's time for the SSS!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 11 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:


You are asked to design a new toy in time for Christmas this year. Describe your awesome new plaything.

It was submitted by: The lovely Miss K. @ Searching for Sanity     

All I have to say is, thank goodness I'm NOT a toy inventor. With my award-winning procrastination skills, I would invent some awesome Christmas toy in the 11th hour of Christmas Eve. Remember though, it would be awesome. That's the important part.

So, like most of my subject swaps, I consulted with the kids.
"If given the chance, what kind of awesome toy would you invent? I ask.
In unison they answer, "This is for your blog, isn't it?"

Hanging my head, I admit it. I'm all out of energy. We're having this conversation while I'm putting away the laundry and the three kids are crouched together watching the latest "Vines"on a cell phone. It's one of the few things they actually do together (beside wrestle for bubble gum and the front seat,) so I let them be.

As almost every mother has done in her lifetime, I backed out of the boy's room and stepped on the pointiest LEGO known to man. (More like sixteen, but who is counting?). It was about the time that I was pulling a red LEGO from the arch of my foot when my colorful language began to surface. As I was complaining, my mind moved to the dirty clothes in the hall, to the overflowing recycling bin, and to the fruit snack wrappers collected in a corner. That led to me reminding my children that I let them live with me. In a house. With a roof and heat.…and so on. You get it. Be honest. It has happened to you.

Perhaps it was the fear of my impending melt-down, which had become cackled cries as I was tripping over "some one's" boots. Maybe it was fear that our "within a one mile perimeter" neighbors would call CPS. Who knows.

But those children? Those messy, drive-me-crazy, 'won't-throw-out-garbage-if-it-isn't-theirs' kids? They must have remembered that the 25th of December is indeed coming. Maybe they realized I might go on a holiday strike or recalled that my body carried them for 27 months (combined, whatever.)

For whichever reason, those three children got together to create for me (and you,) "The perfect Christmas Present."
Enjoy the following video knowing those kids absolutely had my back for this month's swap.

Top Selling Toy/ Product of the 2013 holiday season: Mom Doesn't Need to Know Spray!

Every Child will want one. Buy yours now in time for Christmas Day. Guaranteed to keep a child out of trouble. $49.99

video
Credits:
Producer/Director: Eldest Child
Writer: Eldest Child

Cast:
Youngest, messy child: Youngest Child
Playing the part of Mom and Narrator: Eldest child

Disclaimers: Written and Recorded by the Middle child.

It's moments like these when I know that being their mother is totally worth it. Thanks guys.
Now, GO clean your rooms!

My favorite movie makers.

Thanks for the topic, Miss K.!

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She is an amazing woman. You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!
    
Baking in a Tornado                                
The Momisodes                                     
Moore Organized Mayhem           
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              
Crazy as Normal                                                 
Follow Me Home                           
Evil Joy Speaks                              
The Bergham's Life Chronicles                      
Juicebox Confession                                
Dates 2 Diapers                          
The Insomniac's Dream                      
                       
Cheers to the creative, sarcastic kids. They make my world go 'round.
Happy Weekend, friends
-Michele
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