-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Fly on the Wall- July



Hey-O!  Welcome to the July Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 11 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....



Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Get in there!

Cast:
Me
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 19)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 8)
Our dogs: Lila and Henry

Keeping things neat:

Me: "I hate that I can't wear black pants in this house. There is dog hair everywhere."
A. : "Just don't wear black pants."
Me: "That's half of my wardrobe. What am I supposed to do? Have YOU seen anyone with 'hairy' pants?"
A. : "Have you seen my unshaven legs in the winter? It's a very comfortable look."

***

A. : (serious tone) "Mom."
C. : (equally serious)"We HAVE to talk to you."
Me : "About what?"
The middle child opens my laptop and sits down next to me. His sister sits on the other side.
A. : "Please Mom. Let us offer you our help. It's not you...well, it kind of is. It's about your 'Hoarder's' status desktop."Just let me make folders and I can organize it all for you."
Me: "Are you guys kidding me? I don't have a problem. It's completely organized."
C. : (softly) "If you'll just let me, I can at least organize it so the photos will be aligned. We're worried about you, Mom."
Me: "Put my computer down and back away slowly..."

Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is.

Yeah, it's organized chaos.



Death and dying:

On our weekend get-away, I complain to the speeding husband.
Me: "You'd better slow down. I CANNOT die on this trip."
The man: "THIS trip?"
Me: "Yes. I didn't make the bed or clean the bathroom this morning."
The man: "So. IF you die, this will matter how?"
Me: "I don't want your family coming over thinking we're messy."
The man: "So. If we die, you think that my family would be mainly focused on how clean our house is?"
Me: (thinking it over for 1.5 seconds). "Chance takers are accident makers. Eyes on the road, man."

***

The middle child had had the stomach flu. He was lying on the floor in the living room.
Me: "You know, C. you'll probably inherit all of my stuff..."
He looks oddly at me and my daughter gasps.
Me: "What? I was just going to say that you'll probably inherit all of my health problems."
Collectively, the kids sigh.
A.: "I thought you were saying that he was going to inherit everything from you! How fair is that?"
C. : "I thought the same thing, but I also think I deserve to inherit everything you own."
J. : "Hey! What do I get?"
Me: "You guys are morbid. Anyway, I'd divide everything up evenly between the three of you."
C. : "What about Dad?"
J. : "Ugh. Now we have to divide her stuff FOUR ways?"

The dogs:

The man was on a business trip to Minnesota when I sent him this photo with a text:
Me: "I surely hope you're not being replaced..."

Lila, sleeping in the man's spot.

The phone rings and what do you know, it's the man.
The man: "Put me on speaker phone."
I do.
The man: "Lila...Can you hear me? Huh girl?"
Lila looks around trying to locate that familiar voice.
The man: "Lila, listen to me. I am not dead. You may think I'm gone for good, but I am not. Enjoy that time in my spot. When I get home you're going to be sleeping on the floor!"
Lila continues to look around, spins, then puts her head back on his pillow.
Me: "Yeah, honey? She looks pretty scared. I think you put her in her place."
I hang up while Lila and I look at one another. I shake my head and I swear, Lila laughed.

***
Henry was neutered about a week after we brought him home. Our neighbor, who has a tiny dachshund, always comments on how his little Roxie and our Henry would have cute babies. It really is a  sweet thought, but the cone, purple stitches and removal-of-his-goods was all worth it in the end. Henry was NEVER meant to be a father. Whew.

Just a few of Henry's "babies."

Lessons learned in my house this month:

-There is no way on God's green earth that a pint of Ben & Jerry's "New York Super Fudge Chunk" serves four people. No way at all. Maybe two people. Two people that look just like me.

-Giving away hundreds of your "teaching" books and supplies and watching your former life being packed away in boxes hurts more than you thought it would.

-Cooking meals in 100 degree weather is NOT cool. Having the family wrapped around the dinner table totally is.

- I HAVE to remember to record the FLY on the WALL stuff as it happens. The kids get tired of trying to recall the funny moments.

-The dog's bladders are NOT equal to the amount of water they drink. They pee twice as much as they take in. So do I.

-When my kids are sick, nothing else matters.

-I can learn the words to every Disney show theme song. I CAN'T get the theme song to "Good Luck Charlie" out of my head.

-It's not impossible to put a puzzle together in a power outage. In fact, it's empowering. Apparently though, I'm NOT allowed to say that I know how it feels to be a blind Mary Ingalls.

***

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Insane-Whisperer", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go do it! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                     

Just a Little Nutty                                
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                               
Menopausal Mother                   
Moore Organized Mayhem            
The Insomniac's Dream                                   
The Momisodes                                      
Spatulas on Parade                      
The Rowdy Baker                              
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others       

Happy Weekend, Friends  :)
-Michele                         

41 comments:

  1. I love that your husband called to the talk to the dog.

    Change is scary and it does hurt a lot. I'm there right now.

    `The Insomniacs Dream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The dogs have definitely stepped up a few rungs on the family ladder.
      Change has always been difficult for me. I've been in the middle of an identity crisis for what seems like forever. I hope you are coping with your journey. I'm wishing you well.

      Delete
  2. I love the lessons learned and I completely agree, especially with the Ben & Jerry's!!!

    HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously. Does Ben and Jerry's come in 2 gallon vats? I'm willing to pay...
      Thx for the hugs. I'm sending them right back at you :)

      Delete
  3. I can always count on you to make me laugh! And this time to reassure me that I'm not the only one with the perfectly rational fear of dying in a fiery wreck with a MESSY HOUSE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is it with us women? My husband could care less if there were underwear strewn all over our home. I'll have to make deals with my girlfriends to clean up my messes in the unfortunate case of my passing. That, and erasing EVERYTHING I've ever typed on my computer :)

      Delete
  4. Lila is in for a rude awakening when I get home tonight so tell her to enjoy the few hours she has left in my spot! I assume that during my absence Henry has also moved up the social ladder and is now sleeping in Lila's spot instead of chewing on his toys and your shoes. My, how quickly things change when you are gone for a few days.

    As for your desktop, I've seen a lot of them in my line of work and yours is not the worst. At least you parred it down enough so you don't have overlapping icons anymore.

    Thanks for holding down the fort this week. See you soon!

    Love,
    The Man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got rid of the overlapping icons before taking the screen shot ;)
      Lila will honestly be really excited to see you....you may however, need to sleep on the couch for a week or so. I call it acclimating.
      Can't wait! <3

      Delete
  5. Cracking up over the picture of toys the dog destroyed--I can so relate. What I loved most about this post though are the lessons learned--you had me smiling and a little teary eyed all at the same time. Great post, Michele! XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marcia, Henry chews up everything! This is what my shoes look like :(
      So may lessons learned, and relearned every day.
      Love you.

      Delete
  6. Seeing your laptop is like taking a peek into your brain. And honestly, I'm a little scared. But if that's what it takes to be as sweet and funny and articulate as you are. . . well, I'm just gonna have to go for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This can't be the first time you've contemplated my crazy brain. I guess that screenshot explains everything you need to know about me. Very jumbled and busy. As I said, organized chaos. What would I do with a neat looking home page? All of the blue folders look the same. That's not any fun... ;)

      Delete
  7. Honestly mom.. That desktop is like hell in the mind of an OCD thinker. Just a few folders could make your life 10000 times easier. Good thing Shellybean likes to take the road less traveled and do things the more difficult, yet more rewarding way. ;) Lila drooling on dad's pillow has definitely been the hilight of this week. Along with each having our own gallon.. I mean, pint of Ben and Jerry ice cream. Great post from a wonderful lady! Keep blogging, Shellybean. It seems to be your area of expertise. ;)
    Love you! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erase the OCD and add the ADD. I still don't get it. I know where everything is and its purpose. Taking the road less traveled is exactly the path I've always chosen. Thank you, dear daughter for buying the pints. Mine lasted two days. Might I say the happiest two days of my life? Ok, no. But, it was wonderful. Thanks for those last two lines. You know I've been thinking of stopping. Don't make me doubt myself. I love you and your comments.
      -Mamacello

      Delete
  8. I totally agree about family dinners and forcing the family to recall the funny from the month. ;)
    I love peeking into your home.
    If I were the dog I would SO have snuggled in to. Aren't business trips the time to eat take out and sleep using the whole bed?
    Another excellent Fly that I always look forward to reading. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear Meg, the dogs have completely taken over. Between them and the youngest wanting to share the bed while his dad is gone? No sleep for me. I have been learning the art of contortionism though, so there is that.
      I'm always glad to have you stop by.

      Delete
  9. I have the same issue with my Fly on the Wall posts, so I've invested in a notebook to keep on hand, just to write things down in...that's commitment and chances are, I'll still forget.

    One rule in my house....everyone sits down to eat together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A notebook. So simple. I REALLY need to write stuff down. I can barely remember what I had for lunch. Love that you eat together. It's harder with family activities, but I don't take it for granted. It's one of my favorite time of day...after bedtime, of course.

      Delete
  10. Oh my! It looks as if your desktop does need some sort of intervention! This was great-I swear that we that do the Fly on the Wall posts every month need to have a fly party and hang out. Oh the trouble that we could get into! :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you imagine all of us together? I think I'd never stop laughing!

      My whole family are computer-literate. I just type. I fear that changing that desktop raises the risk of me losing everything I work on. It's an irrational fear, but it would absolutely happen to me.

      Delete
  11. Trust me, my house is, and will probably always be, far messier than yours. I definitely won't be one of those judging you for forgetting to make the bed and clean the bathroom.

    I think Henry is expressing his anger at you for removing his junk by destroying his toys. It's the passive-aggressive way to get his point across.

    I hope C is feeling better now.

    Love to you all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nicole, you made me laugh. You can be my go-to girl to run to the house and get rid of any evidence.
      Henry has never forgiven us for the "cone situation). He still pees in the house, chews on the legs of my chairs and poops crayons in the kitchen. I'd be ten times angrier if he wasn't so cute. It's probably the same reason why I'm still married. HAHA.

      The doctor checked in on C. today. He's hanging in there. Eating lots of bland food and hating every minute of it.
      Thanks for your texts yesterday. Between you, your mom and my brother's texting, he feels very loved. Like I said, when the kids are sick, everything else goes out the window.
      Love to you as well, girl.

      Delete
  12. It sounds like you and the husband have a lot of fun together... and putting the dog in her place via speakerphone.awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We really do look like a normal couple on the outside. Inside, we are insane. Thus, Fly on the Wall works :)
      THe speakerphone was hilarious. When the man got home that night, Lila ran straight to the bed. She was not willing to give up her space...

      Delete
  13. Started my weekend with a chuckle ! You should see the mess in this house - Ive given up since the builders moved in and it's strangely empowering! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! You are building on to your home; you have an excuse for the mess! Haha. I can't wait to see the finished product :)

      Delete
  14. I am with you on the computer, who needs folders? I like my stuff on the computer out there where I can find it with out going through a ton of folders. Once again you had me laughing. Hope you are doing well. xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank goodness! I really do know where everything is. If I had to check out folders, I'd have to check them all...and more than likely, the stuff I needed would be in the last folder. This way, it's all out there~

      Delete
  15. Love the small glimpse of your family life. Once again, I wish I were a part of it! :) I love your photos. The screen grab is excellent... there is nothing wrong with crazy brain... life would be boring without us creative types! And, the photo of the dog toys made me laugh. I totally understand your "don't have an accident/the house is messy" mind set. When my depression was at its' deepest and darkest I purposely wouldn't clean... I couldn't hurt myself if the house would be messy when the family came to collect my belongings. Tell Mark impressions matter, here and in the hereafter. Missing you much, in the real world, and on FB. Love you to the moon and back... xo S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Creative types; I love that! Thanks you for the compliment. Although I'm so sorry that you were so deeply low at one point, I'm glad that your house was messy. Sometimes, any little thing can help. Mark told me you checked up on me- I appreciate that more than you know. Miss you, too. I'll get back on, eventually. Just need some time to focus on the real world for a bit. <3 u.

      Delete
    2. I can understand needing to get away... next time give me a heads up so I don't worry about my favorite girl... Know that I'm thinking of you, missing you, and loving you... and, I'm always here, for anything you need... xo S

      Delete
  16. Double M...

    You know I LOVE your "Fly On The Wall." So...

    #1: Love the 'Man/Lila' telephone convo.
    #2: Totally understand the 'Dog Hair' thing... We once had it with our 4 dogs (Toby
    does not shed) = smiling!!!
    #3: While out driving, Donna is FOREVER saying... "Babe." grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
    #4: Absolutely... 1 Pint of Ice Cream = 1 Person!!!

    and finally...

    #5: It's not you... It's absolutely me... Never in a MILLION years could I have a
    'Desktop' like that. I would drive myself nuts!!! lol the kids have a point!!!

    As usual, totally enjoyed... All is good again!!! Have a great week, Slu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Slu!
      I'm always so glad to see you stopped by. Sorry that you are so much more prompt than me...I'm always a few posts behind.
      Glad Toby doesn't shed. I can't imagine!!
      The passenger seat can be such a crazy place to be; it's like you want to be in control but can't!
      God bless you on the ice cream approval. That pint was one of the best ice cream I have ever eaten.
      I thought of you when I posted that screen shot. It bothers every person in this family.
      Smiling,
      -MM

      Delete
  17. So true about both the ice cream and peeing. I always get such a chuckle reading your posts...and I get the lessons learned list. Love you and miss you so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for checking in, Kim. It's been quite the summer, eh? Hope things are looking up for you and your family. We love you all very much and are sending love and light. THanks for finding the time to read. :)

      Delete
  18. On giving away....I thought I'd totally die when I quit teaching. I had taught in a private school for ten years and those kids were "mine"! Now, more than ten (but less than twenty) years later, one of "my" kids came to visit from Montreal. What an absolute joy that I can't even express what an amazing woman she became. To think that I had any part of sewing the seeds in her life brings me great joy and makes me realize that there are so many, many more seeds sewn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love seeing children as grownups. When they speak to me in the store, I have to look for that little round, five year old face, and then it comes back to me. Your post left me with happy thoughts. I hope my works rippled on among the children and their worlds.

      Delete
  19. Hahahaaaaa! Seriously missed you and that crazy family! This made my day! :):)

    Your slacker FF

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss your face!! Where have you been? I hope you had the happiest birthday ever, my FF. we need to gab very soon.

      Delete
  20. I love this post, I love this post, I love this post.
    Even though I am single and live with my sister, I am sooooo longing to do a 'Fly On The Wall' post too after reading yours Michele.

    Love the part about your kids and the will, your husband and the dog, your desktop (arrgh, I totally wish i could organise it for you too, lol) and yes I am almost 30 and have no kids but i know almost all the Disney theme songs too *covers face*.

    it is so nice to visit your blog again xoxo

    P.S. I am going round to read all the other Fly on the wall posts *grin*

    Barbara
    www.barbara1923.com
    Lagos, Nigeria.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barbara! I'm so glad you stopped by! We would love to have you join in on the fly swap. click over on the fly on the wall badge up there, and it will take you to Karen's site. She will set you all up. THey are so much fun to participate in. That desktop has to be cleaned up. I get that now. I'll work on it :)
      Thank you thank you for stopping back to the site. It's been harder since bloggers went down. I hope you are well :)
      Michele
      http://forllowmehome.shellybean.com
      www.shellybean.com

      Delete

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