-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Secret Subject Swap #7 April!


It's the beginning of April and time for the SSS! The flowers are blooming, the birds are out and I am opening every window and door to welcome it all in.


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in an e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 12 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My Secret Subject this month was:  What is the best April Fool's trick that you've ever played?
It was submitted by: the wonderful Sarah @The Momisodes  She's on FB and Twitter too! Go to her page and hook yourself up :)

I'm pretty terrible at pulling pranks (that work). I've never been the "think six steps ahead of someone else" kind of girl. Unless the prankee is under the age of 7, I fail miserably. My middle son, however, tries each year to one-up himself in the pranking of his mother. Usually, on April 2, I get even by beating grounding him, but if I'm completely honest, I'm usually impressed with his creativity. Here is what I received this year:

Now. There are very few things in the world I hate. "Hate" is a strong word, I know. So I reserve it for the serious stuff, like mean women, spiders, and Good & Plenty (evil, black licorice candy). Right up there on the top of my most hated things?  CLOWNS. Hate, Hate, HATE them. Think of the one in "IT" by Stephen King. Circus Clowns. Paintings of Clowns. Clowns that come to birthday parties...Clowns that sell Happy Meals..They freak my freak, people. My family knows this.

A few months ago, we were in a thrift store and I found a pattern for clown costumes. It was old and I showed it to my husband with a shiver.

Why oh why would you do this to a child?

"Hey, I think my mom made that for me one year!" he said.
I spent 20 serious minutes contemplating our marriage.
I put the pattern back between a 1976 Caftan and a 1972 Shawl.

The next weekend, we were at another store that sold vintage patterns by the bag. I picked a few bags knowing that I would more than likely find a pattern or two I liked out of the lot. Nobody could beat the price of 2.99 for ten patterns.

Oh, you know what I'm going to say next. At the bottom of the gold mine was that same pattern! I screamed and told my son the story. All that mean child did was laugh. I picked the patterns I liked from the bag, put the others in our Salvation Army bin and threw that clown pattern away. I was NOT going to be responsible for making some other unstable terrified woman see that nonsense.

Fast forward to April 1. It was a Monday and the kids were back to school after a week off for Spring Break. I was using the bathroom when I looked up and saw that damn pattern taped to the shower door in front of me! I screamed my middle son's name out loud. Let me ask you this. If a woman screams in her bathroom all alone, can anyone hear her? Oh, just ask the neighbors. Or the elderly couple down the road.

That day, ALL over the house, I found these:

Smaller copies of the pattern. In my laptop, in the fridge, on my water bottle, on the phone...You get it. Each picture was numbered on the back. I knew that there were at least 18 because I found #18 taped to the remote. Of course I only found 13 of them. I turned around every corner looking for them, nervous of where the next ones would pop up. (The next prank? That kid skipped numbers so I would lose my mind looking for the rest...)

After giving up (once the youngest child got home from school and told me about the skipping-of-the-numbers), I went down stairs to gather fabrics for my next set of bags. I was still looking out of the corner of my eye for those little pictures of the pattern..I checked the door to my sewing studio, the ironing board and the cutting table. Nope, none there.


Then I saw it. I looked up realizing that someone had moved my dress form (Betty). The scream was louder and more piercing this time.
*
*
*

Betty doesn't have a head, so he used my pillow......

That pranking child of mine was going to be homeless.

Okay, no he wouldn't. But he would be clothes-less. I hid all of his clothes that day. In the bottom drawer sat the clown costume. Cheers to April 2nd in high school, my son.

So maybe I don't completely fail at pranks...

Happy "Does-anyone-need-an-extra-costume-or-a-teenager?" Day, friends :)

-Michele


If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. You can also read all about the swap by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!


Baking in A Tornado                       
Chewylicious                   
The Momisodes                
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                   
Just a Little Nutty                    
Follow Me home (Yeah, that's me!)             
A Mother Life.com                                       
The Insomniac's Dream                                   


42 comments:

  1. Great blog post, Shellybean! Your middle child sounds like a trouble chil. How dare he take advantage of his vulnerable, clown-fearing mother. At lest you have two other children.... Ah, but even your youngest helped with the clowning... I guess you still have your oldest. Rumor ha it, she was studying for school and feeding the homeless when all of this plotting was happening...

    Love you! Even though your kids will always out prank you.. What can we say? We learned from the best. ;)
    -A

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    1. You're typing like your mother...Are you on your phone? Who else in the world has a college student willing to be late to class to post on their mother's wall? Awesome. Keep feeding the homeless, dear. Just keep away from anyone dressed as a clown...it will more than likely be your brother. <3

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    2. The oldest always claims innocence, but rarely is. . .
      And yet, at least the lovely Alex reads you. My oldest doesn't, nor does my youngest, and there is no middle child.

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    3. The eldest taught the others EVERYTHING. Dang kids.

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  2. How is that child still alive?! Oh man, I'm so sorry.....but I did almost spit my coffee all over my laptop when I read it....

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    1. I ask myself that every single day. He's a peach. Thanks for the topic :)

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    2. You are very welcome. It was pretty epic.

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  3. I don't know if your Mom was one of those that shook her head when you did something she didn't approve of and said "I hope you end up with a kid just like you some day", but yeah, that. . .

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    1. I'm sure she said that multiple times, Karen. In turn, I've made sure to tell my kids the same thing. Watch out!

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  4. WOW!!!! You have to give him points for creativity, right??? OK, maybe not.... LOL

    BTW, I am SO jealous of the patterns (except for the hideous clown)!! Maybe once we move I can find a great place for vintage patterns! Fingers crossed!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Stacy, I try so hard...Haha. The kids. We wouldn't change them, right? I saw that you were moving! I find a lot at the Salvation Army, but we've been lucky to live where Vintage is coming back.There are a few shops that have opened up. I hope you get the chance to find some. The older patterns are really well done.

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  5. OMG what an awesome yet scary prank!

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    1. My children are awesome AND scary. More scary. :)

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  6. Dude never fails to make me chuckle... On his toes, he is!!!

    I'm guessing you've seen the "Creepy Clown" episode on Seinfeld??? Ha...

    Enjoyed. Have a great weekend, Slu

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    1. Is there anything but a Creepy clown? I miss Seinfeld! That middle child is just the male version of me. I think it's why he can get away with such things.
      On another note: Did you see that Hanson is leaving the Lions? Retiring. Ugh. He's the only consistent scorer we have!! :(

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    2. Hey, I feel your pain... we have lost 3 or 4 to Free Agency and it is killing me.

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  7. I loved it!
    Such an excellent idea!
    We're always pranking each other here but nothing of this epically awesome proportions. :D
    As always, a wonderful laugh at an exceptional family. <3

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    1. Thanks, Meg. We really do love each other. I often worry that someone from the outside will call social services on us :)

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  8. I heart your son so hard. I'll take him if you're still putting him up for adoption! He'd fit in just fine here. (I found spiders in my makeup bag and on my pillow on April Fool's)

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    1. Dear Lord. If I found spiders in my make up bag or on my pillow, I truly would have beat someone! Thanks for stopping by, my son will be so glad to have people in his corner!

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  9. THAT was quite a prank! I hate clowns too. I blame it on that Sesame Street thing where they showed the clown putting on the makeup only in reverse. Creepy.

    Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Holy Hannah! I think I remember that! Could it be the basis of all my fears of clowns? I'm still scarred from the death of Mr. Hooper.

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  10. OMG Michele this is a GREAT post!!! I hate clowns too--ever since I was young and saw that scene in Poltergeist with the clown sliding out from underneath the child's bed! Gah! You've got one very clever boy there---I'm sure I would have needed CPR on the spot if my kid did that to me. But I think you did a good job getting back at him. Go Mom!

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    1. Poltergeist! The clown and the graveyard under the pool. That movie was ridiculous. See, clowns add nothing positive to the world. The child is gaining on me...!!

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  11. You have to give an A+ for creativity and imagination! I would freak out at seeing that dress form done up like that, and I don't even have a thing about clowns!

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    1. Shelly, he has too much time on his hands, don't you think? I will never look at Betty the same way again ;)

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  12. I'm laughing with you not at you, but you have to admit that was a pretty funny prank - both of them! I can't believe you hid his clothes <- equally hilarious. The only thing that scares me is what will his "mastermind" will think of next year. Good luck ;)
    Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for laughing with me, girl. I know he is already thinking. In this house, who needs April Fool's Day?

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  13. OH MAN...he rocks!!! That is so incredibly awesome... I can only imagine what he is thinking and never he really does. Wonderful that you two have such a good relationship that you can play pranks like that.

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    1. He is a good kid. One who used to snuggle and wear feet pajamas. Now he's old enough to know I'm easily tricked....and that I cry easily :)

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  14. That was amazing! At least take credit for having a creative, smart(ass) kid! Your revenge prank will go down in history....take that, evil child.

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    1. I take most pride in their smart-assness! As long as I can win in the end, it's all good :) Thanks for stopping by!!

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  15. First you don't like clowns (BTW, Betty looks good - just missing the red nose that I rocked with my clown costume) and now Good & Plenty? Guess we do have different tastes on some things. Also, when did the middle one start keeping his clothes in drawers? I'm missing so much! Can't wait to see the pranks on April Fool's 2014. Great post!

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    1. Good and Plentys are the evil step child of Black Jellybeans. They are all lies. You're right about the son's clothing though. He probably found an outfit or six under his bed. Dang.

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  16. This kid and I would be great friends. My husband did a similar thing to me, only he hid the clown under the bed, in the closet and in the utility room. It somehow - accidentally - got ripped to shreds at some point. Hmmm....Lovely post.

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    1. Under your bed? And your husband still walks? See, I should have put that pattern through the shredder. You're definitely on to something there. Thanks for sharing in the clown-hate. ;)

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  17. That is freaking AWESOME! I hate clowns...i really do and I really hate IT and I remember when I was young seeing those patterns at Kmart when my mother would spend endles hours in the textile department LOL That is terrifying! Great job on the prompt hun! xoxo

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    1. I remember when Kmart carried patterns...Gosh, I feel so old. I hope she never picked out a clown one for you :) Thanks Chewy!

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  18. OMG! I'm dying!! He's a genius!! Apologies to you, but all my admiration to him for pulling this stunt off!

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    1. He's a great stunt puller, Roshni. Unfortunately it's a skill he uses year-round :)

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  19. LOL! too funny! I have been so incapacitted with school... I miss your stories. Trying to play catch up on some blog reading =)

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    1. Lilybean! I'm so glad to hear from you! I knew you were busy with school. I hope it is all slowing down a bit. Breathe in, Breathe out. I'm rooting for you! :)

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