-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Fly on the Wall Dec. 2013


Hey there!  Welcome to the December Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 15 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 20)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 9)

Since it's the end of the year, I decided to poll the family on a few holiday topics. Take a look at their responses. A few flies were probably swatted in the making of this post. No one takes much seriously around here, remember? Here are the highlights. 12 of them.  I left the low-lights for another post :)

1. What is your favorite thing about December?
A.:  "Being able to eat triple the amount of calories and still be socially acceptable."
C. : "Non-stop party food during the last 6 days of the month."
J. : "The animals come down the mountains to eat." :(
A family of deer eating left-overs from the neighbors' garden.


2. What is something that happened this month you'd rather forget about?
The man:  "Shoveling the heavy wet snow. Or listening to the neighbors shoveling their heavy, wet snow. At 5 am."
A.: "Getting my very deep wisdom teeth pulled. Actually, cut in, sliced open and chopped my teeth into bits. THEN getting them pulled."
C.: "The first 24 days…"

3. I've been redecorating the house to keep my sanity. What is your favorite improvement around the house?

The man: "Cookies everywhere!" (Not those kinds of changes, man.)
A. : "We finally turned the heat on." (Not that kind, either!)
C. : "We now have a drawer dedicated solely to paper plates and napkins." (My family hates me…)
J. :  "The color-coded library?" (Now you're talking! Even if it was created in an in-sane moment.)

OCD over Dewey Decimal, any day.

4. What is your biggest wish for 2014?
The man: "Getting healthier...Hey! Who ate the Chili-Cheese Fritos?"
A. : "To rock through school and have an awesome, stress-free wedding." (Yeah, more on that later.)
C. : "Infinite wishes and No More Nickelback. If I can only choose one, I say, 'No more Nickelback."
J. : "I already get an extra week off for Winter break. A. and C. have to go back before me. That's a good wish I didn't even ask for."

5. What advice would you give to yourself if you hadn't yet lived in the year 2013?

The man: "Don't ask what 'Twerking' is…"
A.: " Keep your wisdom teeth. All four of them. And get snow tires…"
C. : "The lottery numbers for the December Powerball are…"
J. : "Read the WHOLE book, especially if your mom already read it."

6. What has been your favorite food this month?

The man: "Steak from our Christmas party." (What?)
A. : "The sharp cheddar cheese you bought from Costco. (Really?)
C. : "Leftovers from Thanksgiving. We really need to clean out the fridge." (Wow.)
J. : "Grandma took me to the mall and I had a really good soft pretzel." (Everyone nods in agreement that the mall's pretzels are indeed, delicious.)

Fine, then. My favorite food was what my friend calls "Manna from Heaven." Homemade cinnamon tortillas over vanilla bean ice-cream. It's all drenched in a vanilla custard. It's made at one of our favorite restaurants. When I finish this post, I'm going to have one. So there, family. Enjoy your Ramen.

7. What is your favorite thing to wear in winter? aka What am I always nagging you to pick up?
The man: "My wet winter boots. Where am I supposed to put them? They can't dry in the closet!"
A. : "Ten layers of food fat for hibernation".
C. : "A smile." ( help me)
J. : "My wet winter boots. Where am I supposed to put them?" (Yeah, he has no alternatives.)

8. When did I last yell at you?
The man and J. : "Um, wet boots. Remember?"
A. : "Cleaning up the living room when I've just had my wisdom teeth pulled."
C. : (Waiting for a hand-out) "You've never yelled at me, Dear Mummy." (Ack.)

9. So far, we've watched a lot of holiday movies. Which one has been your favorite?
The man AND J. : "Elf. We are going to keep watching until we can burp that long."
A. "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It gives me hope that my brother's heart might grow three sizes one day."
C. : "The Grinch cartoon; mostly for the horrifying faces."

10. You are baking cookies with me. What song is playing in the background?
The man: "On the radio? Anything by Mannheim Steamroller; just to watch you cringe."
A. :" Jingle Bell Rock. I WILL teach you that dance from Mean Girls."
C. : "Total Eclipse of the Heart. The one with the musical styling of Santa." (Does not exist. I looked)
J.: "Little Drummer Boy. That kid has a good beat." (Rum pa pa pummm)

11. If there WAS a fly on your bedroom wall, what would it see?
The Man: "Me, trying to get out of bed without waking up an insomniac or her two snoring dogs…"
A. : "It would hear the nonsense I was speaking after the wisdom teeth debacle. It would see partially eaten meals, and unmade bed, remnants of anxiety from finals week and a few clothes on the floor." (Cue the tumble weed rolling in her closets with hangers blowing in the wind…)
C. : "A fly on the wall would hear the soft weeping that comes after I jump from my loft bed on to J.'s LEGOs.  BTW, Can we talk about me getting my own room?"
J. "It would see all of my LEGOs. Mom, they are out for a reason. Each pile is a project I'm working on. Is there any way we could get a wall between our beds?" (Nice try.)

12.  Finally, here are a few funny comments I heard this month:

Me: Are we going to put up lights this year? It's a beautiful day.
The man: I'm not sure. It's getting late…
Me: But all of the neighbors have lights. We will look like we don't belong.
(His head turns sideways at me.)
Me: Ok, so we don't belong. Can we still put up the lights? I'll help…
The man: (In a parental voice) If the neighbors jumped off their roofs, would you?
Me: He** yes I would, If I had the right sled and…
The man: …if we had lights?
My first husband rocks, people.
***


The man: "Can we park your car in the shed? I bet it will fit. How about the back patio?" (Whodawhattahowda?)
A. : "Mom moved all the dishes and food around. Again. I can't find anything, I'm hungry and I feel like a tourist from another country. Is it too much to ask where the peanut butter is?"
C. : "Are you going downstairs or to the down-down stairs? I need to print my paper. Will you get it for me? I have to go upstairs to get my music book. If you go down-down stairs, will you grab it? Text me if you grab the paper."
J.: (talking to the soon to be son-in-law) "Let me smell your hand. Ooh, it smells like lotion." J. lifts his arm to show his bare armpit. "Here, smell me. You know what that is? THAT is the smell of a man."(Welcome to the family Mr. S. You're finally one of us.)

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                     
Just a Little Nutty                                
Follow Me Home                          
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              
Menopausal Mother                                 
The Momisodes                            
Spatulas on Parade                      
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others                       
Juicebox Confession                            
Writer B is Me                                
Dates to Diapers                        
Kiss My List                                             
Moms Don't Say That                                        
                       
Happy Holidays, my friends. Whether you're celebrating with a huge group, a small family, or just trying to find happy memories from years past, I wish for you a beautiful new year. I hope its filled with light that blinds your eyes from the bad in the world. I hope your heart is so full of love and extras, that you will want to share it with strangers. For myself, I hope to get back to this blog so that I too, can share in these things with some of my very favorite bloggers. Any way you celebrate this year, smile for all of the knowledge we've gained from each other and share it with someone new. I love each and every one of the people that take the time to read my very silly blog. Peace, happiness and Dark Chocolate to you and yours,
Love Michele 

Friday, December 6, 2013

Secret Subject Swap- December 2013

Hello, December!!. Ugh. We are still munching on leftovers! The tree is up and we are ready (not really) for snow. Hey, we did make it to December 4th before turning on the heat. That's pretty good by any measure. I hope you are all keeping cozy! For now, it's time for the SSS!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in a secret e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 11 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

My “Secret Subject” is:


You are asked to design a new toy in time for Christmas this year. Describe your awesome new plaything.

It was submitted by: The lovely Miss K. @ Searching for Sanity     

All I have to say is, thank goodness I'm NOT a toy inventor. With my award-winning procrastination skills, I would invent some awesome Christmas toy in the 11th hour of Christmas Eve. Remember though, it would be awesome. That's the important part.

So, like most of my subject swaps, I consulted with the kids.
"If given the chance, what kind of awesome toy would you invent? I ask.
In unison they answer, "This is for your blog, isn't it?"

Hanging my head, I admit it. I'm all out of energy. We're having this conversation while I'm putting away the laundry and the three kids are crouched together watching the latest "Vines"on a cell phone. It's one of the few things they actually do together (beside wrestle for bubble gum and the front seat,) so I let them be.

As almost every mother has done in her lifetime, I backed out of the boy's room and stepped on the pointiest LEGO known to man. (More like sixteen, but who is counting?). It was about the time that I was pulling a red LEGO from the arch of my foot when my colorful language began to surface. As I was complaining, my mind moved to the dirty clothes in the hall, to the overflowing recycling bin, and to the fruit snack wrappers collected in a corner. That led to me reminding my children that I let them live with me. In a house. With a roof and heat.…and so on. You get it. Be honest. It has happened to you.

Perhaps it was the fear of my impending melt-down, which had become cackled cries as I was tripping over "some one's" boots. Maybe it was fear that our "within a one mile perimeter" neighbors would call CPS. Who knows.

But those children? Those messy, drive-me-crazy, 'won't-throw-out-garbage-if-it-isn't-theirs' kids? They must have remembered that the 25th of December is indeed coming. Maybe they realized I might go on a holiday strike or recalled that my body carried them for 27 months (combined, whatever.)

For whichever reason, those three children got together to create for me (and you,) "The perfect Christmas Present."
Enjoy the following video knowing those kids absolutely had my back for this month's swap.

Top Selling Toy/ Product of the 2013 holiday season: Mom Doesn't Need to Know Spray!

Every Child will want one. Buy yours now in time for Christmas Day. Guaranteed to keep a child out of trouble. $49.99


Credits:
Producer/Director: Eldest Child
Writer: Eldest Child

Cast:
Youngest, messy child: Youngest Child
Playing the part of Mom and Narrator: Eldest child

Disclaimers: Written and Recorded by the Middle child.

It's moments like these when I know that being their mother is totally worth it. Thanks guys.
Now, GO clean your rooms!

My favorite movie makers.

Thanks for the topic, Miss K.!

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She is an amazing woman. You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!
    
Baking in a Tornado                                
The Momisodes                                     
Moore Organized Mayhem           
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              
Crazy as Normal                                                 
Follow Me Home                           
Evil Joy Speaks                              
The Bergham's Life Chronicles                      
Juicebox Confession                                
Dates 2 Diapers                          
The Insomniac's Dream                      
                       
Cheers to the creative, sarcastic kids. They make my world go 'round.
Happy Weekend, friends
-Michele

Friday, November 22, 2013

Fly On the Wall- November '13


Hey there!  Welcome to the November Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 13 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Buzz on over!

Cast:
Me
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 19)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 8)
Our dogs: Lila and Henry

Have you ever had one of those months where something goes wrong and you are stupid enough to ask aloud, "Can it get any worse?" Our last few weeks have been like that. Take my advice. NEVER ask if things can get any worse. Of course they can! Whenever you start feeling like you're at the end of your rope though, take a look at the news. The tornadoes in Illinois, the devastation in the Philippines...everything can be put in to perspective very quickly. On that scale, we are doing (and will be) just fine.
If you were a fly on the wall at my house this month, you would have witnessed:

Halloween:

It was a regular Halloween at our house. The older kids were at parties, I was giving out candy, and the man and J. were out collecting the goods. One of our neighbors came to our house and asked if we were the home who was giving away the Bud Light. I wiped a tear from my eye, and gave him a Snickers. I don't share the good stuff…
Henry dressed up as a fish. He loved it!

Lila went as a shark. She hated it.

J. went as Jango Fett


C. was an actor from a black and white movie.



A. went as a winner of a Publisher's Clearing House Contest. Her Man was Ed McMahon. They won!
***
J.: "It's not fair. I have to give all of the chocolate to the sugar witch. It took me a long time to collect all of that."
A.: "Did you know the sugar witch looks a lot like mom?"
C.: "Did you know you can stuff all of your candy in a sock and mom will never find out?"
I give them all the "mom-look."
C.: "What? I learned that from dad."

Food:

Comments from random family members.

"I can't eat Rice Krispies without sugar. It's all Grandma's fault. She poured sugar on those like it was crack. Now I'm addicted. To Sugar. On my cereal…"

"You weren't the first one to invent mixing Rice Krispies with Frosted Flakes. I've been doing that for years with Apple Jacks and Fruit Loops. Yes, I am a Sweet Genius."

"I can't eat these french fries, mom. They taste like…potatoes!"

"Never eat M&Ms out of the bottom of your purse when you also have an open bottle of Advil in there."

"I'm taking my sleeping bag and living at McDonald's for the next little while. They have the McRib AND pralines and cream smoothies. If I get sick of any of it (which I won't,) there's a Dunkin Donuts next door."

Teeth:

We went to our 6 month check up last Saturday. The man had to have a filling replaced, the eldest and the middle child both had a cavity. The youngest and I got off with a clean bill of health.

J: I can't believe it! I don't have any cavities!"
Me.: "I'm so proud of you!"
J. : "Do you know my secret?"
Me: "I think so…"
J: (handing me his box of complimentary toothpaste) "Here, you can have this. My secret is to never brush your teeth. I even told the dentist that."
Awesome.

A.: "Can we please buy toothpaste that doesn't taste like fish?"
C.: "What is this "floss stuff" you were speaking about?"
The man: "You are now responsible for your own dental bills."

Random:

I was stressed out of my mind one day with something completely out of my control. So, I decided to paint the inside of my house. The walls. The doors. A table. The stairs. Some chairs. A chalkboard. I didn't know where to start (because I'm the queen off ADD), so I came home with this.



Where to start? Everywhere. I have no less than five projects going on with no end in sight. My husband gets it, although he hates the chaos. My kids just shake their heads and try not to touch any paint. Another relative told me, "You will never be happy." Ouch! I promised that the man's next wife will be in love with white.

During the painting marathon, I pulled a familiar muscle in my back. It's in my sciatic nerve and I always ending up begging the man to apply these derma-patches to the area. We also have these back beaters that we found at Bed Bath and Beyond. They are fantastic. They are also loud when they hit your back. I never care. I just want the pain to go away.

 Of course when A's boyfriend asks what that "banging sound" is,  the youngest has to chime in.
"Dad's just hitting mom with his blue balls."

How do I find myself in these situations? We have no secrets, people.

Private tips overheard from the kids:

"If you throw lots of underwear down the laundry chute, mom will be happy because she will think you are (actually) changing your underwear."

(Probably not related) "Flushible wipes make everything better."

"Say something nice when you go in mom's room. It will be easier that way to ask for chocolate."

"If you look at the wrapped presents and your name isn't on any of them, you have some serious thinking to do."

Finally:

I was talking to the youngest about these wall stickers called "Fat-heads." Have you heard of them? They are life size stickers of sports heroes or princesses. You can now order (according to him) a "Fat-Head" of yourself.

Me: "Why in the world would you want a life-size sticker of yourself?"
J. "It would be SO cool. I'd always have someone to talk to. I bet we'd even agree on things most of the time."
Hmmm.


Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                     
Just a Little Nutty                                
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                  
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                            
Menopausal Mother                                     
Moore Organized Mayhem                
The Momisodes                                 
Spatulas on Parade                      
The Rowdy Baker                              
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others                       
Moms Don't Say That                            
Juicebox Confessions                               


We are trying to make it through November without turning on our heater. 9 more days  to go...
Happy Weekend, friends,
-Michele         

Friday, November 8, 2013

Secret Subject Swap- November

Hello, November. Eh. We just finished Halloween, and now all of the Christmas ads/songs/decorations are appearing. Too fast, people. Give us at least SOME Turkey time. The good news?  It's time for the SSS!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in an e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 12 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)

Your “Secret Subject” is:
The cleaning wizard visits. Offers you the chance to forever forgo your least favorite chore. The one chore you will Never Ever have to do again. What is it?  Who do you wish it upon?  Why?


It was submitted by: www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com      

WARNING: If TMI is not your thing, you better move on now...             

Never again? Do you promise Ms. Cleaning Wizard? I'd half expect her to answer.
"Yes, my dear. Why, you've had the power to stop all along…"
I'd cry happy tears. Twirling would be probable. Maybe some rocking on the floor. I'm sure eating ice-cream straight out of the carton would be happening as well. Solo. Mmm.

Which chore you ask? If you read this blog, you'd more than likely already know my answer.
I hope it counts as one chore. Cleaning the toilet. The lid, the bowl, the front, the disgusting part where the screws attach AT the lid, and the 2 foot perimeter of the whole dang area around it. Please tell me that all falls under the category of "Cleaning the porcelain princess".

Hey. I've had my share of college days and hugging the cold white bowl. There were, in fact those nasty evenings after eating too much Taco Bell. I've even broken my water over the toilet. Yes, the john and I have REALLY gotten to know one another. My point is, I have never gagged in any of those situations like I do cleaning our toilets now.

Does it have to do with having teens? Have toilets become smaller, thus leaving an impossible target? Is it like my dogs? Are people in my home marking their territory? Let me tell you one thing. Those dogs (who have been known to eat each other's poop) won't even go near our bathrooms.

Every day, I lift the lid to find tiny yellow drops. Most days, there is a matching yellow stream down the front and onto the grout of the cold tile floor. I stopped using rugs; they were getting "damp". I stopped setting the brush and bleach so close to the toilet (I was trying to give clues!), but the bottles were covered in what I can only describe as "honey-colred spatter". If I really wanted to know (and I don't!), I'd buy one of those black light things. I know I wouldn't find a murder scene. Nope. But I just MIGHT find out who has been peeing on my walls. Maybe they wrote their name like guys do in the snow. If this isn't TMI, then get ready. It's highly likely that one of my family members forgoes the toilet paper altogether and just slides off the bowl, leaving me with, oh, I don't know. Just a daily piece of sunshine? I'd like to think that person is saving a rain forest somewhere while I'm stuck spraying chemicals from atop the washing machine.

On the off-chance I haven't hit the bathrooms yet? Well that's when the friends or family stop over, of course!
"Can I just quickly use your potty? Thanks!" says someone who's asking rhetorically.
Shock and a hit to my stomach. OMG. What in the world will they see? Should I stop them? Should I tell them to squat? Should I pretend we didn't pay the water bill and swiftly push them back out the door? It has happened to me, kids. More than once.

All right. So if the Clorox fairy is REALLY giving me a free pass, who should get the job? Is it fair to give it to the daughter that's as sickened as me? The man? He is 6'2" after all. How about the teen with all of his teen friends?
The youngest? Would he even be strong enough to scrape the yellow gunk off of the floor?

I only have one answer. It's a good idea, because it can be used two fold. I'm thinking of putting a different colored tablet (the kind used for dying Easter eggs) into every family member's drink for a few days. Do you follow me? The colored urine would give away the culprit. Genius, I know. That person would forever be destined to clean the royal throne. I can see it sparkling now. Gleaming, really.

Oh yeah. Remember how I said two fold? That "colorful" person (or another) will give themselves up when they spit their toothpaste in the sink. A little color with a whole bunch of toothpaste. Why rinse the gunk down, right? That's what mom is for!

Excuse me while I put on the old ruby slippers. Hmm? The Lysol/Borax/Clorox/Comet fairy likes the fuzzy purple slippers? You've got it. Closing the eyes and clicking my heels a few times...

"There's nowhere like the beach,
there's nowhere like the sea.
Fairy grant me just one wish,
Let someone else clean the pee."

Thanks for the prompt, Evil Joy Speaks.!

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She is incredible. You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!
Baking in a Tornado                        
The Momisodes                         
Just a Little Nutty                     
Follow Me Home              
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                     
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                            
Crazy as Normal                                     
Searching for Sanity                   
Dawn's Disaster                           
Menopausal Mother                               
Evil Joy Speaks                           

                     

Happy "Enjoy the daylight while you can", friends.
-Michele                                  

Friday, October 18, 2013

Fly on the Wall-October!



Hey there!  Welcome to the October Fly on the Wall Group Challenge. This month, 13 awesome bloggers and I are describing what it would be like if you were to take a peek inside our homes....


Have a "look" around mine, and then go visit the other blogger's pages. There's always something fun, sentimental, or better yet, embarrassing going on. It's like your house, only we're admitting to the craziness. You have our permission. Get in there!

Cast:
Me
The man
A., the eldest (daughter, 19)
C., The middle (son, 15)
J., The youngest (son, 8)
Our dogs: Lila and Henry

If you were a fly on the wall at my house this month, you would have witnessed all kinds of GOOD and BAD news...

Crosswords:
I'm obsessed with crossword puzzles. Every night I try to do a few; just to see if my brain still works. One night, I checked the next puzzle (in order) and it was completed with letters that didn't make any sense. I looked at it for a minute before figuring out that J. must have filled out a page by himself.
The good news-
*I'm not quite as crazy as I thought.
*I can confirm that crosswords should always be done in capital letters.
The bad news-
*My son may be dyslexic or a coding magician.
*My son doesn't know who wrote "The Raven".


Birthday Boy:

 Portal- "The cake is a lie."
  

It was J's birthday last weekend. He turned nine and said it was his best birthday ever.
The good news:
*I scored major points making a portal cake. I had no idea what that was, but apparently, I follow decorating directions well enough.
The bad news:
*C. and A. were AWOL for the day.
The good news:
*They both called to wish J. a Happy Birthday.
The bad news:
* I got yelled at by the middle child because I never made him a portal cake.

Legos:
Yep, my son scored for his birthday in the Lego department. (Because he didn't have very many ten million to start with...)
The good news:
*We surprised J. and his friends by visiting the new Lego store in town.
*J's friends surprised him with the Lego Sets he's been begging for.
The bad news:

 *Mom is an OCD freak who has to make sure all the pieces are accounted for before building sets. (She's a real drag.)

*Mom found out that being OCD is FABULOUS fun and sorting Legos by color and shape rocks. This unintentional finding gave the boy one less Lego set to build.



New loft beds for the boys:
Two boys sharing one room can be very trying when one is a teenager and the other is not. We decided to build the boys lofts so they could take advantage of having more space.

The good news:
*The lofts look amazing and we're all still alive to tell the story of building them.
*It's so nice to have things a bit more organized.
The bad news:
*IKEA's directions were a bit difficult for this spacial genius and I almost was built into the desk that accompanies the loft.
*It's not any fun listening to my children joke for the rest of the day about how I should be on the shows , "I Shouldn't Be Alive!" or "127 hours."
Quote from Jo, "Life Alert! I've got my head stuck in a table and I can't get out!"
Quote from C. "Has this ever happened to you? Of course it hasn't. Who drops a desk top on their face?"
The better news:
* How awesome would my obituary be?
*All of the teasing may or may not have resulted in a few loose screws. Allen wrenches aren't perfect, you know.

Are you ready for some football?


We're not sure what exactly inclined us to invite our best friends over for a great game of Lion's football; especially when aforementioned friends are green bay fans. (Yeah, I can't capitalize it.) But we did.
The good news:
*They ARE our best friends, so there was a lot of food, kids and cheering to be had.
The bad news:
*The cheering wasn't from us. We were missing our key player, Mega-tron. Our Lions didn't roar.
*I love my friends a bit less than I love my Detroit Lions...
*Final Score: Detroit 9, green bay 22.
We'll see them back right here on Thanksgiving day!

Finally, A few of my favorite quotes from "Homeschool":

J: "Mom, I'm supposed to imagine myself in a story, but this one is a scary story. Is it okay if I put C. in it instead?"

J: "This says there is an amazing singer in Seattle. We should go."
Me: "Why do you want to go see a singer in Seattle?"
J: "Not for me mom, for you. There must be something really special about that sewing machine..." (Singer, get it?)

J: "They actually put eggs in their paintings back then? (fresco) That's gross. Scrambled eggs are nasty even a little bit cold. Those places probably stink!"

J: "I may change my idea about who I want to be when I grow up. I just can't make up my mind..."
Me: "You know what? That's okay. I think about doing something new every day"
J: "You're lucky, Mom. You're a grown up and can be ANYTHING you want, any day."

Epiphany. Thanks, J.

Thanks once again for stopping by, and to the Fly's AMAZING creator, Karen @ Baking In a Tornado, aka "The Blogging Original", for hosting this challenge! Would you like to join in the next FLY challenge? Click on the FLY button on my side bar. Karen will more than take care of you.

Take a look at what the other bloggers have going on inside their homes. Go on! Leave them a comment. You know you want to...

Baking in a Tornado                                     
Just a Little Nutty                                
Follow Me Home                          
Stacy Sews and Schools                
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                              
Menopausal Mother                                 
Moore Organized Mayhem                
The Insomniac's Dream                            
Spatulas on Parade                      
The Rowdy Baker                                  
Trashy Blog                                       
Dates 2 Diapers                            
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others                       


Get out and enjoy the beautiful colors if you can. Soon, it will be too cold to move :(

Happy Weekend, friends,
-Michele         

Friday, October 11, 2013

Secret Subject Swap- October!



It's October, people. We've already had snow. I'm just not ready! The good news?  It's time for the SSS!


If you're a regular reader, you know that the Secret Subject Swap is a collaboration between various bloggers. We receive secret topics from a blogger in an e-mail and put our own spin on the subjects. The 12 blogs participating this time are listed at the end of this post. Go have a look and leave a comment. It will make my our day! :)


Your “Secret Subject” is: 
Grab a globe and an imaginary arrow. Stick it in at the place you were born – now describe the life you would have if you grew up on the other side of your world.
It was submitted by: http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/   

I was born many decades ago, on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Some call it the NinetyEast Ridge. I call it "The middle of nowhere, Earth." For those of you thrill-seekers, the coordinates are 3 Degrees South, 90 degrees E. Go ahead, knock yourself out and visit.

I can't complain about the island. It was very beautiful and I really had everything I needed. Food was plentiful, a well of purified water was created, the weather was usually calm, and I was surrounded by those that I had come to love.

One day, a group of teenagers and I decided to try and find where we might live on the other side of the world. We did this by using a volleyball that had washed ashore a few years before. It didn't take long for my grandmother to wash the sharpie-marker face off of the ball. (who draws faces on a ball?) A gentle man who lived down the path from us drew out what he believed to be the world on the rubber sphere.

We measured and showed the man the area that was opposite of us. It was an odd piece of land, surrounded mostly by water, in the shape of a mitten.

"Ah, yes" nodded the man. "This is Michigan. I've heard other men speak of it. Did you know that all of the water surrounding the land is fresh water?"

The name sounded familiar. After speaking with my grandmother about it, I remembered that I had family there. Can you imagine? Halfway across the world? I wanted to go. I wanted to meet these people as soon as possible.

How would I get there? I thought I might have it figured out.
First of all, I'd have to cut things off with my current boyfriend, Richard. It really wasn't all that serious anyway. In the back of my mind, I had this weird inkling he was seeing another girl. Her name was Emmaline. I don't care. They look like they could be relatives! Ack. They could sneak off to the lagoon as often as they liked.

Next, I'd have to start flirting with the older guys. I figured ONE of them could help me off the island. Jack was tall and smart; he just couldn't stay focused on one thing at a time. Sawyer was beautiful, but I think that's all he had to offer. There was a much older guy, named John Locke, but all he had on his mind was revenge. Getting to know him might be useful at another time, but this was not it. No. I had only one choice. I can't remember his first name, but I called him "The Professor". Man, this guy knows his stuff. Building radios out of coconuts, inventing anti viruses. He's a chemist, an architect, a botanist...he has it all. Plus, May-December relationships are all the rage on the island...

It worked! A few quotes from Edison and some silly questions regarding the periodic table..Poof! He was mine. In a few days, I had him wrapped around my smallest phalange.
The professor made a few calls from his "apple" (Yes, a phone made from an apple.) and I was on my way. Transportation would be coming for me the next day.

After my heartfelt goodbyes to my community, I kissed my grandma and promised I would one day return. I hugged the professor and whispered softly in his ear, "Photosynthesis". For a moment, I didn't think he'd let me go...

Soon, a visible para scope rose from the water and a ton of people jumped out of a tiny yellow submarine. They were answering the call from the professor and said that one more person would be just fine. I later came to find that they ALL lived in the yellow submarine. They sang it over and over; not unlike the 99 bottles of beer on the wall tune. Still, a cute man held my hand as I boarded the vessel and asked me my name.
"Michele" I answered.
"Welcome aboard, Michele. Hmm. Michelle, my belle... Sounds catchy." I liked that.

I watched the islanders wave goodbye as we slowly descended into the deep. Through a porthole, I could see that annoying Ariel trying to catch the attention of the crew. She was always doing that. She was already a princess of the sea. Who would want more than that? Well, Ariel, that's who. She was always talking about walking and running and staying all day in the sun..Blah blah blah. Sorry girl. This ship has sailed...

It was about a week later when we finally reached the east coast of North America. I was almost there. The group hugged me, stuffed some money in my pocket and descended back into the sea. Packed up with a small map and backpack, I was on my own.

I learned a few lessons on my way to Michigan. Not everyone is helpful. There are places to eat food that is pre-made. I asked a mother if another building I was standing in was "heaven." She said no, but it was close.It was called "Target." Oh, and there is a major difference between an Amtrak train and a "love train". Wow.

There weren't any streets paved with gold. After a few trains, a plane and a Magic school bus, I was in the land of Lions, Tigers and Red Wings. I was "home".

I'm not sure if I tripped on the steps of my relative's home or if I just collapsed of exhaustion. But when I woke up, I found myself in what seemed to be a familiar place. I recognized the petal pink walls. I remembered the heavy quilt that covered my shivering body. Then I saw her. It was my grandmother! She came to feel my forehead and described the awful fever she'd been trying to get me to break for days.

I was confused. I told her about the trains and the submarine, about my friends on the island and that she was there.. She hushed me and shook her head. It was all a dream. Halfway around the world is where I already was. It's where I had always been.
"I don't understand. It was all so real..."

Grandma smiled. "You just get some rest, now." She turned toward my nightstand and moved my DVDs of LOST and turned off the iPod that was softly playing the Beatles.
Still foggy, I watched as grandma also picked up a bottle of Nyquil. And a bottle of Dayquil...and some Sudafed, Advil, Alka Seltzer...and Triaminic.

Holy Hannah. No wonder I was dazed and confused. My beautiful grandma was trying to break my fever... like a drug lord. I love that lady.

Hail Michigan!

If you are interested in joining us for the next Subject Swap, you can visit its creator, the wonderful Karen @ Baking in a Tornado. She just celebrated ONE YEAR of the SECRET SUBJECT SWAP! You can also read all about the swaps by clicking on the SSS icon on the side of my blog.

Don't forget to check out this month's talented participants!
Baking in a Tornado                            
The Sadder but Wiser Girl                                   
Evil Joy Speaks                       
100lb Countdown                      
Follow Me Home                    
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                           
Menopausal Mother                              
Stacy Sews And Schools            
Discovering Me               
It's Yummilicious                                      
Dates to Diapers                                  
Confessions of a Part-Time Working Mom                       

Happy Beautiful Friday, friends.
-Michele                                  

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