I was stalking some photos the other night. A women that I used to know, was in one of the photos and was making a really weird face. It was so weird in fact, I mentioned it to the eldest.
Me: "Come here. Look at this pose. What's that about? Why is she doing that with her mouth?"
The eldest: (nodding as if she'd seen the pose a million times) "Ah, yes. That's a MYSPACE face. She's doing that on purpose."
Me: "On purpose? A Myspace face? I've never had a MYSPACE." (is it even supposed to be capitalized?)
The eldest: "Yeah. A Myspace face."
The eldest: "Remember Zoolander?... Blue Steel?... You know, Duck face?"
Me: "Duck face? That's not nice!"
The eldest: (looking back at the photo and pointing) "See those pouty lips? See how her cheekbones are more pronounced? People use that face in their FB profiles. It's supposed to look "model-ish" or something. Lot's of girls do it. Usually they're taking their own picture. In a bathroom...Ahem..bent forward. Usually they're fishing for comments or looking for new "friends". People make fun of it all the time. There is an Anti-duck face page on FB... It's even a game. People write the word "BANG!" when they see the dreaded Duck face. Go ahead. Look it up."
And so I do.
I Facebook it. I Google it. I Pinterest it.
Me: "Ouch. Who does that on purpose?"
The eldest: "Which? Make that ridiculous face or say, 'BANG!'? Apparently, lots of people."
I quickly scan through all my photos. Because I would never, EVER make that face. Would I? Did I? Only people who are seeking attention would do that, right? Please don't let me find a pic making that pout...Whew! I'm good. Only girls who have low self-esteem would......WAIT. A. MINUTE.....
Me: (to the eldest) "Look at this! Is THIS the duck-face? It can't be. It's from 1972! I was only two years old!"
The eldest: "Hahahahahahah! Yep. Wow. Way to be vain, ma! You probably invented it. MY mother invented the duck face!"
Me: "Now I'm all self conscious! Certainly I had no idea.. Look, I don't even HAVE any cheekbones!"
The eldest is laughing hard at me now.
Me: "Don't laugh! Should I take it down? Well? Is THIS what people make fun of? Say something, already!"
The eldest shakes her head and walks away. But before she leaves the room, she turns around, shoots a pointer finger at me and says,
Happy "You're-only-awesome-if-you-thought-duckface-was-putting-two-Pringles-between-your-lips" day, friends.