-A mostly true journey of a girl, her man and their three kids; all trying to live harmoniously in a house somewhere in Utah. Names and exact locations may be changed in order to protect the grouchy.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Keepin' it real...

"Mom, why does C. (the middle child) want a razor?" the youngest asks.

"Because he's getting older.. and that's what guys do. See that dark hair on his upper lip?" I try to explain..

"Hmm." he nods.. "But why does he use a razor?"

"Well, you know how daddy gets whiskers? He uses a razor to shave them off."  I say.

"I know that. But dad has light brown hair.." he tells me, still looking confused.

"So?" I ask, not quite understanding what HE's not understanding..

"Well,  C. has dark hair like you do. I think he should use that shiny, warm stuff on his lip like you ..."

Oh Dear Big Man Up Above...

Waxing. He's talking about waxing...

Yes, he's seen me wax before, but I never really thought he understood why, or more importantly HOW he felt the need to remember that bit of information...

I believe this is the beginning of a new book. I obviously have both a ton of content AND a title.

"Things Young Men Should Never Say To Women. About Women. Out loud. Ever." written by a humbled, smooth-upper lipped, forty-something mother.

Cheers to honesty, friends :)

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monday Makeover II

So, my mother-in-law let me take home this table a few years ago. (No, the woman NEVER stops giving..) She even had a new top made for it because she rocks like that. I have to be honest and say that I have loved it ever since I saw it in its original state. I thought the old paint gave it character.. I had it in my living room for a long time. But one day, I noticed the paint was literally falling off onto the floor. When I picked up the pieces of paint, they would turn into powder. All I could think of was "LEAD PAINT!", and perhaps the realization that the man's mother might have an alternative motive with all this gift-giving...



-and HERE is a picture of an organizer the man bought for my birthday last year. A hint maybe to, you know, be more organized? You have been following the blog and saw the before shot of the closet yesterday, right? Even though there was important "stuff"stuffed in those cubicles, there was no order to it at all. I really do love this little piece of furniture, but still haven't used it properly.


And then that man went and helped me make a teeny tiny, fantastic office...He actually helped make the stripes, remember? 


Now I know this is going to be shocking to all of you, but I decided to paint the table and organizer. Yes. More paint. Even all those little annoying cubicle-thingies.. (what in the world was I thinking?)

I used the last of the aqua paint from the room and mixed it with another quart of creamy-white paint. When it was finished, the man helped spray the whole thing with a lacquer spray paint. I know you can't see it from the pictures, but it has a soft shine to it. Perfect for a very girly office. Will it stay organized? Your guess is as good as mine.. (if your guess is "No!")

Here is the finished product..


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I'm not sure if I'll regret painting that old red table.  For now though, it's exactly what I want.

Have an organized week for me, friends :)

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A day in the life of being married to me...

Setting: The craft room. It's the weekend before my birthday. I have disassembled one of two closets and junk is strewn everywhere...The man, trying not to look worried, peeks in.

The man: Wow. What's going on in here? (He's asking in that, "I'm being nice, I don't really want to know." kind of voice.)

Me: Hey, Mr. Man. I think I'd like to paint this weekend and I need your help.....

The man: Really? What in this house is left to paint?

Me: Very funny. I'd like to paint the closet with some leftover paint, and I need your help with..

The man: But..It... is a CLOSET. (He says this to me as if I'd look at him, realize that it IS indeed a closet and change my mind..) Why do you want to paint it?

Me: Because it's a complete disaster, and I'd like to make it an office.

The man: An office....Inside your craft room... 

Me: Yes. That's what I said...and I'd like to paint stripes in there..

The man: (looking into the shell-of-a-closet, he shakes his head because apparently, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of.) I still don't understand why, you know, with it being a closet and all...

Me: You know what? Never mind. I was going to use the "It's my birthday; could you please help me?" excuse...but I'm not asking you anything. I don't need your help..I don't want your help. Please. Just go.

Looking a little (okay, very) relieved, the man starts to walk away. He's slowly walking up the stairs...I start to follow him.

Me: Guess what? I am perfectly capable. I can do this myself!  I can!... But....

He looks back at me as if I fell over and cracked my head open at that very moment, he might pause a minute or two before calling 911.

Me: If one were to "hypothetically" paint a room...and say, if the wall is 38 inches, and the other is 44 inches, how might one measure the tape out for even stripes?

Oh. He ALMOST got away. So close...I can literally see his jaw start to tighten.

He again starts shaking his head at me because he knows I will make a spatial mess of things if I take charge of that blue painters' tape, and if THAT happens, I may need to REPAINT...and if I buy NEW paint, I might as well repaint the whole room.... So with that "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" realization, he asks softly, "Do you have a ruler?"

Me: (Taking advantage of the short window of opportunity) Yes. Yes! But.. do we really need one?

The man: (hoping his next wife will love stark white walls) Yes, Michele. Yes "we" do.

Thank goodness for beautiful leftover paint in the garage. Thank goodness for the sparkles I bought at Lowe's to put into the paint. Thank goodness for the man who helped his FIRST wife measure out stripes for a tiny closet no one will ever see.....except for me.

And you. 

And the man who knows his paint-addicted wife is as close to giddy as anyone can be over a 12 square foot sparkly closet office. 



This is the closet in the craft room. It was supposed to stay like this...


But it eventually turned into this...


Go ahead. Shake your head. It's a mess...Tsk. Tsk.


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Post closet, Pre-office



Measured stripes.....


Gold and pink paint..


With sparkles? Yes.. They really work!


Look at that tape! It's the cutest little room and it is junk-free. 

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Because I was so embarrassingly excited about the even stripes AND sparkle-paint, the man found the perfect gift for my birthday. 

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I think I'm in love..

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Now, what to do about that carpet?

Me: Honey???

Crickets.

Happy Weekend, friends :)






Monday, September 12, 2011

41: In their words...

My children try to one-up themselves every time the man and I have a birthday. They work all night to come up with the most creative, sarcastic, full-of-love sentiments two children could ever produce on the night before their parent's big day..Yes, they are procrastinators. It's genetic.

One year I received a construction paper card that was a sewing machine. It had a needle and thread spun on a spool. It had pieces of my fabric on it and beautiful hand-written notes inside. Another year, I had a card made out of letter people (from my teaching days) and hot tubs (a family joke; I've always wanted one.)

The man has a card that was an exact replica of his laptop, one that is a hamburger-flipping grill, and another that is a Facebook page...

The kids always seem to capture who we are and what we love. It's become a highlight of our special days.

I turned 41 a week ago. I wanted to share the card that "my babies" made for me this year. It's a collage about my favorite things. 41 things. It's also numbered on the front and coded on the back so I, at my very old age, can understand what each picture means. I'm showing it to you so you can-

a)  learn a little about who I am through my family's eyes.
b)  see that my children are as sarcastic as they are sweet.

Mostly, I'm recording a memory. That construction paper will fade over time. I never want to forget how excited the kids were while watching me read that card. Equally, I never want to forget how loved they made me feel. What more can a mom ask for (besides a hot tub) on her birthday?

The card :)



The coded flip-side...

"41 Years of Greatness..." by the kids..

  1. Coca Cola- We love your Coke addiction. Thanks for sharing (not!)
  2. Dice (playing the penny-slots) - Always hitting it big time! Thanks for bringing home enough quarters to use at Chuck-E-Cheese...
  3. Roses- Just like a rose, you are genuinely beautiful on the outside and in... ;)
  4. Coffee- Thank-you Starbucks for making every early morning with the family more tolerable..
  5. Sewing- Talent at an endless supply, yet obviously absent in the passing down of traits.
  6. Tai Pan Store- Tai Pan. always thee best place to play hooky. Thanks for memories of Christmas shopping in April..
  7. Yoga- keeping us in-sync with the sick-bending ways of the real world. When in doubt, downward-dog it!
  8. Adele- Only the best when it comes to home-renovation easy listening. Our neighbors are all-too-familiar with the turning tables and rollin' in the deep.
  9. Lowe's- The happiest place on earth.
  10. The 6th Sense- the perfect blend of mystery and suspense.
  11. Teaching -how can we express our gratitude toward the endless amount of knowledge you've given us, not to mention the incredibly handy all-access pass to school supplies..
  12. Japan- Domo Arigato. Thanks for being you.
  13. Michigan- Go Blue or Go home!!
  14. Christian- I Corinthians 13:7.
  15. Blogging- Thanks for keeping every day interesting, for finding humor in everything and making it sound worthwhile...
  16. Apple- We admire the amazing multi-tasking Apple Macintosh line God has blessed you with. We also thank you for being so generous in hand-me-downs..
  17. Hershey's Bar- Signature Michele and Patrick Star. "Eat this chocolate and you'll live forever!!"
  18. Family- We love you because we have to.
  19. Reading-"Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high. Take a look. It's in a book.."
  20. Autumn- Can YOU paint with all the colors of the wind?
  21. Football- NFL all access pass- see you in February.
  22. Chinese food- hey, at least it's not Wendys!
  23. Dolphins- Free Willy. Wait! Was he a Quwhale?? (my kids make fun of the way I pronounce words with the "wh" sound)..
  24. Candy Corn- part of the major food groups- candy. candy corn and syrup!
  25. Green- Your favorite color. It's not easy being green.
  26. Chemistry- Rocking the periodic table since 1970!
  27. shellybean- Take that, Jelly Belly!
  28. Rock-n-Rye- Rockin' Roll every night and party every day, Faygo!
  29. Writing-How could we simply define the glorious talent of the ways you write your about your life? To be awesome or to be awesomer?
  30. Cartoon Fridays- 4 years of your life you'll never get back. Dee Dee, get out of my laboratory!
  31. Detroit Pistons- The only team bringing pride to the 810? No way!
  32. Hot Tub- one of these days, ma!
  33. McRib- the best few weeks of the year..
  34. Shape Shifter- your first electronic addiction. Welcome to the 21st century, ma!
  35. Baking- Do you know the muffin man? Your baking rocks our socks off!
  36. Painting- From the canvas to the walls, you never fail to impress...
  37. Josh Groban- "Papa, Can you hear me???"
  38. 1988- Eighty-eight is great and so are you!
  39. Outback-mmmm. Steak.
  40. Cake- Stocking up on Cherry Chip cake mix (just in case!)
  41. Vintage- Ma, you're always timeless to us! 

Have a Happy week, friends :)


Monday, September 5, 2011

Monday Makeover...

Hey friends! I hope you've enjoyed your Labor Day weekend. Me? I was sicker than a dog. (Where does that saying come from, anyway? Do dogs get more sick than humans? Do they have higher temperatures or require more bottles of Pepto or NyQuil? I'm guessing no) Ugh. I am so glad to have had an extra day to recuperate...

Here's a little makeover I did on a pair of chairs. My mother-in-law apparently has a whole barn-full of goodies waiting for some spray-paint love. (How did I not know this sooner?) I think she found these at a yard sale..not sure. They were just sitting in the barn like a lonely set of twins, begging for some attention...

When the man's mom asked if I'd like them, I thought for......oh stop. You know I took them faster than she could finish asking. I don't know where they are going to go, but one thing I'm sure of? They were free and Holy-set-of-wrought-iron!! Who loves "free" more than me?



Two super-heavy, bottomless FREE chairs..

          I wasn't going to do the measuring on those chair bottoms. I'm pretty sure people would actually like to sit on them and not fall through..The seats are what we in Utah call "skewampous." I think Utahns mean skewed or crooked, but I love that word....

The only thing I purchased for the project. The foam was 6 dollars for a two pack. Woo Hoo! Oh yes, only a teacher would use a fat Crayola marker to draw professional lines. I do what I can...

Upholstery fabric I had on hand for bags...

The fabric LOOKS even...



Until I get my spatially challenged hands on it.


Finally, some beautiful, left-over red paint that I bought for a bookshelf. The eldest helped me with the painting, but due to the 100 degree weather, no pictures were allowed of the process :) I promise, we DID paint them :)


C'mon...how cute are they? BTW, if you were thinking the same thing as the man and wondering why I didn't leave them yellow since I painted the last set that color...I say, "completely different shade, darlin'." Duh! .....Ahem. Just kidding. Were it not for the man, those cute chairs would have fabric bottoms only, and I can only surmise lawsuits galore..


Have a great short-work-week, friends :)





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